More piss takers in recent years or just noticing them more

[tiredoldmum]

I've noticed a lot of very lazy men in recent years who are content to do nothing and let their partner work and do every thing.

My dd is married to a lazy twunt and I am finding out I am married to a lazy twunt.

My father and 1st husband had very strong work ethics so this isn't any sort of pattern for me.

It seems to me women give far more in a relationship than any man every does but she makes excuses for him. I know I make excuses for mine as who wants to be a failure.

I don't know why we do it to ourselves. A man watches his child for an hour or puts his cup in a sink and he is a Saint.

In my case, I have found both spouses to need a lot of emotional care taking. Any appointments, card writing, picking up things, remembering things, etc. is on my shoulders. It is very draining. I'm not sure what I actually got out of being married.

I have struggled to have a good career and neither spouse was much encouraging or supportive but I was expected to do that for them.

Maybe I just picked two bad ones?

it isn't women's fault if men are lazy, far from it

it is their fault

but there is a point where you can choose to accept it, or not

in other words, you can't change someone else's behaviour (nor should you feel a responsibility to) but you can choose your own

I am always amazed by low expectations many people have of men. My DP and I split jobs equally according to likes or don't hate too much. Eg my partner likes to cook so does it all and the shock on people's faces when I say DP is doing all the Christmas catering is hilarious. I ham it up a bit by not telling them in detail my contributions.

I suspect the proportion of people who are prepared to live off someone else (their partners or parents) is roughly the same between sexes.
Some women stay as sahp way after their children are in school, and a few will arguably have less work than a work away from home parent As many as men probably marry for money and expect their partners (or paid help) to take most of the work load at home.

It is the woman's fault if she allows his laziness to continue. I can't see why they would want to do that. To me, a man that has to be organised is not an attractive option for a partner.

Yes, we just said that

His partner's choice if she wants to live with it. Don't even try to change it. Make your decision...acceptable to you/not acceptable to you

Hold the phone, so a woman can't whinge if her husband is lazy because she chose to put up with it? I'm sure plenty of people on this site have hoped their partner would change in some way from a small habit or something bigger. What about women that stay with men that cheat? Are they not allowed to moan because they put up with it? And also once you are married or have children with someone it could be harder to leave a relationship to start again. This website has so many double standards it is ridiculous!

Cheese - I am just a bit tired of seeing so many women put up with crap behaviour.

Whilst bad behaviour is the sole fault of the men, the women do actually have a choice about accepting this behaviour. If talking hasn't worked, then they are perfectly entitled to say I will not put up with being treated with disrespect, that if the man does not make any changes, then they will end the relationship.

You cannot control or cure bad behaviour - but you can choose not to accept it anymore.

Read Wifework to understand the dynamic that corrupts a loving relationship.

I reached the point of no return after 25 years and left my "fourth child". He has shaped up nicely since then. So have the DC as in the fallout they all learned to cook and launder and clean!!

One of the many reasons I love my DP now is that he writes his own cards, remembers all the birthdays and cooks for his kids. But he is a rare bird and he is MINE!

It's surprising how they can manage perfectly well on their own isn't it. They can cook, clean, shop, etc. But why bother when there is a woman there doing it for them.

Seriously. Just stop doing things for them and they will do it for themselves.

Kouign I don't think men like that are so rare, it's just that no-one complains about them, so you don't hear about it so much.

There are more men that do everything than ones that dont out there, especially if their wives work.

Also who on earth doesnt know their own childrens birthdays?!?

my stbx was like this.

Now I'm with a new partner and I won't let myself be taken for a fool.

I do think society still pushes women to do the majority of the domestic chores. My ex fil was a mysoginist and his wife believed all the crap too.

luckily I don't have to listen to all that now.

Had a look at wifework and i'm not surprised that the majority of divorces are initiated by women, mine included.

I'd never make the same mistake again.

OP isn't a troll, and you have been reported for troll hunting, Andy

MerryFuckingChristmas
OP isn't a troll, and you have been reported for troll hunting, Andy

Ohhhh shaking in my boots.
Knock your self out with reporting.

I have an opinion and I am free to express it wether you like it or not, as is tha OP.

It's the internet FFS!

The problem is that it is against mn rules to troll hunt, Andy, so your post will be deleted.

I wasn't hunting, just expressing my opinion.

Yep, we've all been there and have the deletions to prove it.

You are out of order to do it on a sensitive thread though. If this woman is real (and I think she is) I imagine she feels 100% more shit than she did before. Good for you, Andy.

It's best you leave it, Andy. We get it, your gender is being called into question. Boo fecking hoo. Have you browsed the Relationships boards much, btw ?

Have you browsed the Relationships boards much, btw ?

Yes. if you had bothered to look, I post here too