Hello
Can you please tell me what you'd do if you were me.
I am 26 years of age I have a son who is 7 years of age I am no longer with his father we broke up when my son was 1 years of age due to me finding out the type of person he really was, I ask whoever reads this and comments to please not judge me as a person. To cut a long story short...
My Sons father recently came out of prison 3 months he spent 8 months in there and was found not guilty on a very serious charge, he has been in prison 3 times since I broke up with him and they have always been very serious charges but whenever it goes to court he is always found not guilty because witness and victims are scared to testify again him and his "gang"
During the time he was in there this time I did let his family have access to my son as they haven't done anything wrong, on the first occasion I let them have him on the weekend my son came home and told me that his 'uncle' had taken him to see his dad in (school) prison, and that his nan had told him not to tell me that he'd been there, I called her and told her very nicely that I don't want my son going back there, she said that I shouldn't keep him away from his dad but said she will not let him go there again.
Now my Sons dad is out I have been letting him see my son, first it was just for the day every Saturday, then he said that he wants to have him from Friday night to Saturday night which I wasn't comfortable with but I let him, my son is on a strict bed time routine he is allowed to go to bed at 9.30 on weekends, when I call him to say goodnight he is never ready for bed, he is either playing a games console our out driving with his dad, there was a time when his dad allowed him to sleep over at his 'cousins' house which I wasn't too happy about, can you blame me? I don't know them and anything could have happened to him.
His Dad makes me feel like a rubbish parent, he will say to me "Why is he dressed like that?" I refuse to dress my son in designer clothes as I feel as they are a waste of money, but that is all his father wants him wearing which is pathetic my son is 7 he doesn't care what he wears. He will also ask me "Why doesn't he have this?" I refuse to buy expensive toys for my son the budget for his Birthday and Christmas is £50, a lot of people say that I am mean, but I won't spoil him with material things, the only thing I will spoil him with is love.
Now we are approaching Christmas his dad has "told" me that he wants him he wants him now until he goes back to school. And now my son has got it in his head that he will be spending Christmas with his dad and "cool friends and family" and that he is excited to open all his presents under their Christmas tree. During the 8 months his dad was in prison he went back to the "normal" child he was, now whenever we are out he will ask for expensive toys and games and when I say no he will go into a strop and not speak to me, also his behaviour has changed again at school, he has gone from being "a pleasure to teach" to hitting other children and not listening.
I don't want my son spending Christmas and new year with his dad, (also to mention that my son suffers from sickle cell anemia and could go into crisis at any time) but I don't know how to tell him that he won't be having him over Christmas, and also I don't know how my son is going to take the news I don't want to ruin Christmas for him, nor want him spend Christmas with a man who sells drugs and has been arrested for murder and gun charges.
I do want to cut of all communication with his dad but scared my son will hate me for it.
Thanks for taking the time out to read this.