Women watching porn

[OhGodAmITheOnlyOne]

I've name changed and also posted about this in chat, but thought I might get better response here. This is 100% genuine. I occasionally look at porn or read erotic stories because it gets me in the mood. I don't know if DH knows, but I was wondering if it's common, if many women do? Or am I an awful person?

Apologies if you thought I meant to twist your words, I didn't. I actually deleted some of my reply because I felt it was twisting your words MostWicked.

Also, I was defining "good porn" as "ethical", hence the speech marks. We were obviously at cross-purposes there.

I'm genuinely surprised that you openly admit to be comfortable with the fact that you get sexually aroused by material which may not be created or shared consensually.

AllFallDown the fish will still function as fish though - it will still be nutritious. The only function of porn is to get you off and if you can get off while the abuse is happening right there on the screen in front of you then you need to have a word with yourself. That's a whole other level of wrong.

Also, as Leavenheath says, provenance isn't the only issue.

Joysmum OK I understand now. If you honestly do that before you watch every film I would say you are doing as much as you can to ensure that what you are watching is OK but it's still not enough to guarantee there is no abuse. You have no idea whether there is violence or coercion in those people's relationships. Sadly it's not that uncommon.

Please don't go down the route of implying that those who object to porn are prudes (now there's a word with an interesting etymology). It's an old, boring, tired argument and it's not true. I've been with DH for 15 years this NYE and our sex life has been much better since we ditched the porn.

Also - dressing up clothes, toys, porn - one of these things is not like the others. It's worth remembering that pornography is made out of people who may or may not be enjoying what they are doing. Who can tell really? As you always speak to the participants before you watch the films, I'm sure you're aware of this, so I'm curious as to why you listed porn with two examples of inanimate objects.

Back2Two yes you're right there are more interesting discussions to be had around this theme which haven't been done to death.

OP - yes, it's common and no you're not an awful person

It's natural for us to be interested in erotic stuff and it's a lie that only men are "visual". So OP should of course not feel bad about liking erotic material.
Sadly just about all porn with real people in it is super problematic though, but there are alternatives - fiction and so on.

I appreciate the comparisons between crab fishing and porn are not exact. The point was: people take all sorts of luxury goods they don't need, but like, without a second thought about their ethical provenance. Just as they do with porn. I'm not suggesting, as someone said I was, that they should "shut up about it": nothing changes without loud and vocal protest. But maybe they could also protest against some of the other targets, the ones that aren't all over the internet in the most graphic form, and therefore demand a little thought and effort to discover quite how exploitative and abusive to their workers they are. Porn is abusive and exploitative. It is not uniquely abusive and exploitative.

That's from the "if you walk down a dark alley wearing a short skirt after having a few bevvies, don't be surprised if you get raped" school of thought.

No that's not true. We all have a responsibility to take reasonable precautions to protect ourselves. That is why we lock our doors. It doesn't excuse crime when it happens, it doesn't place the blame on the victim. The criminal is always the person who committed the crime.
BUT
We all take steps to protect ourselves from crimes being committed against us.
If you allow someone to take photos of videos of yourself, then you have to take some steps to ensure you know what they are going to be used for. Maybe discuss it with the person doing the filming would be a good start.

I'm genuinely surprised that you openly admit to be comfortable with the fact that you get sexually aroused by material which may not be created or shared consensually.

Created and shared are two very different things. I am aroused by material that is clearly created consensually, where the filming is obvious (not covert) and there is visible and genuine pleasure.

I cannot know if it was shared with consent. I cannot possibly judge that by watching it. I tend to stick to sites where I believe that is less likely, where both partners are on an online forum and communicating with other members, and sharing their pictures, but there is no way I can guarantee that everything I watch was shared consensually.

Stuff like Anna Span, I feel confident is produced ethically.

Are you comfortable wearing a t-shirt, that was made by a 7 year old child, working a 12 hour shift for 50p?
Or drinking the coffee that was grown on the plantation where the workers are paid a pittance?
There is a risk that someone was exploited in so many things that we buy or use. We all justify our choices and decide which risks of exploitation we can live with and which we can't. I'm not convinced that the adult woman who consensually took the starring role in a porn film with her husband, which was then posted without her consent, is more a victim of exploitation, than the 7yr old child worker.

MW the person I am talking about had made it clear that any filming was not to be shared further than between themselves. What then ?

Is that still "good porn" ? And how would you know when the person filmed was enjoying the sex at the time ?

In the right mood, with DP out so not here to help out, I live a bit of porn :)

Love it..... I don't live it! Not on camera anyway

MW why are you making comparisons that X is more or less exploited than Y ?

Nobody else is. Just you.

MW why are you making comparisons that X is more or less exploited than Y ?

Because porn users have been asked how they can enjoy porn, knowing that some other women (not necessarily the ones they are watching) are being exploited in the name or porn.
I'm just pointing out that most of us turn a blind eye to any potential exploitation that goes hand in hand with a product that they want.

*MW the person I am talking about had made it clear that any filming was not to be shared further than between themselves. What then ?

Is that still "good porn" ? And how would you know when the person filmed was enjoying the sex at the time ?*

The good porn is about what is happening at the time so the consent to publish issue is irrelevant at that time. If I knew it was posted without consent, I would not watch it, but there is really no way I would have of knowing.
Whoever posted it should get consent, whoever took part in it is taking the risk that the film maker could share that film. It's real lowlife scumbag behaviour and they deserve to be publicly shamed. I can't know as a viewer and won't stop watching porn because of it.

It's really not difficult to tell if someone is enjoying themselves at the time of filming. Watch pro porn and you see lots of faking it for money. Most amateur stuff, people are filming what they do for pleasure.

Oh dear. Don't know where to start with you lot. Porn is such a catchall term a lot of these posts are talking entirely cross purposes.

Ever since man could daub on a cave wall, porn has existed. Whether you like it or not porn is here to stay and is generally mainstream.

There is a lot of really dodgy stuff out there but come on guys, common sense rules. There are plenty of mainstream suppliers, loads of amateur authors of short stories, nobody needs to visit these dodgy sites. So don't. Simple.

For those of you who have never explored porn, it is really quite evident when you are going off piste.

It's lazy thinking to equate porn with moral ambiguity and a mistake to use derogatory words like "scummy" to porn genres in general. Slurring users and calling them losers is so ignorant; when will we learn that generalising in a world as complex as ours is futile.

You sound quite the porn connosieur, MW

You sound quite the porn connosieur, MW

PayThePiper3 has expressed it very well. There is some really good quality and very erotic stuff out there. Yes there is lots of crap, but I prefer to be a bit more choosy.

You haven't really read the thread have you, PayThePiper3.
People here are making a difference between porn videos and fictive erotic material. But please do tell us more about how you know that cave paintings were only created by men, who were wanking to it, and how it's the same thing as videos of real people doing real sex acts.

So I see, MW. I have certainly picked up that you invest a lot of time and effort into your hobby.

OP it is very common and no you are not an awful person - your just normal like the other 99% of the population.

99% of the population watch porn do they Peggy?

That must be a really accurate statistic.

There are more people than you think producing sexually explicit entertainment material in a non-abusive way. And a lot of the people who like to view sexually explicit material are put off by the idea that the performers are being abused in the making of it. As some friends of mine have put it - 'I don't want to feel like a rapist.'
A lot of people like to watch sexually explicit material. This is not wrong. Some people like to produce and perform in such material, and earn money by doing it. This is not inherently wrong either. The things that are wrong (exploitation, coercion, dishonesty etc) are wrong in a lot of other industries and it's good to examine how those industries - and those who consume their products - are addressing the issues of worker safety and fair trade, to work out ways to improve the porn/sex industries.

Blanket prohibition doesn't work and never will. Look at the fucking mess the Yanks made when they banned alcohol, and the awful legacy of organised crime that left behind.

ive watched it before with my man but in a none serious way we just have a giggle about it and im sat with my mouth wide open in shock at some of the stuff it is an education lol. Think my fella would watch it alot if he could but not enough hours in the day :)

some of the stuff it is an education lol

Such as? What the participants do?

Sorry, meant to put a "lol" after that. I forgot.

lol

I wish I had a fella that would watch porn all the livelong day if I turned my back. Lol.

I saw some porn where the lady in question was just loving having things done that the female body was designed to entertain.

I lolled my fucking head off that one.

not designed to entertain

blimey, I'm laughing so much I can't even type properly