Women watching porn

[OhGodAmITheOnlyOne]

I've name changed and also posted about this in chat, but thought I might get better response here. This is 100% genuine. I occasionally look at porn or read erotic stories because it gets me in the mood. I don't know if DH knows, but I was wondering if it's common, if many women do? Or am I an awful person?

[CaptainHindsight]

Im going to borrow this gem from my DH for this thread.

"Porn- those who cant, watch"

lol

[MerryFuckingChristmas]

I don't believe your DH said that, CH. I think he's a liar, a lettucey leftie softarse, or you are deluded nincompoop. No proppa red blooded male could possibly not like porn.

lol

[CaptainHindsight]

Well now you mention it MFC he is forever online looking up collections of nudey cave drawings? Should i be worried?

contemplates starting own thread

[MerryFuckingChristmas]

I would be very, very worried that he hasn't escalated to the real thing. By now, he should be on those fluffy and lovely camming sites. What sort of man is he ?

[CaptainHindsight]

Cam sites you say? Oh fuck, he downloaded google earth pro the other day to see where we are going on holiday. The deviant bastard was getting his jollies from streetview!

[MerryFuckingChristmas]

I am discusted !

[MostWicked]

So I see, MW. I have certainly picked up that you invest a lot of time and effort into your hobby.

I have enjoyed porn on and off, for the last 30 years. It's no more a hobby than sex is a hobby, it's just something I enjoy occasionally. I don't spend hours every week looking, maybe once a month I might have a look. Sometimes videos, sometimes stories, sometimes pictures, even audio books. It's not all hard core. I love some of the black and white, suggestive and erotic photographs. People do like to lump all porn in together, when there is a vast range out there.

It does date back to the beginning of time, and the desire for it will never go, so it needs to be made as safe and ethical as possible.

[MerryFuckingChristmas]

so it needs to be made as safe and ethical as possible

How hypocritical, MW, when you have told us (in lots of detail now...) that you wouldn't actually be bothered if what you were watching had been consensual or not at the point at which you were enjoying it.

[Vivacia]

Not bothered and not actually her responsibility either. It's the victim's fault in fact.

lol.

[MerryFuckingChristmas]

btw, I see you are trying to "help" the unfortunate woman over on her own thread

I hope she tells you to fuck right off. Lol.

[jasmineramsden]

Most wicked, i feel you've made perfect sense and I can see where you are coming from in your views. I dont use visual porn personally (enjoy erotic literature a lot though. MW You are fighting a losing battle on this thread however, unbelievable how patronising and twisting some posters on this thread have been when others have had the audacity to have a different, considered point of view.

[MerryFuckingChristmas]

So Jas, you think it's perfectly ok to get your orgasm from sexual images that were posted publically and widely without the consent of the participant too, then ? It's certainly an education to have it confirmed that there really are people out there so fucking desperate for an orgasm at any cost.

[thisismyYuleTimenickname]

It's certainly an education to have it confirmed that there really are people out there so fucking desperate for an orgasm at any cost.

It's not even about having an orgasm is it. You can have one without porn. Porn is just a thing that can make you aroused if you are unable to become so on your own - one among many things.
It's addictive however so I guess that's why some people can get defensive about their use.

[thisismyYuleTimenickname]

I forgot lol
The porn industry is so funny isn't it.

[MerryFuckingChristmas]

Some people appear to have forgotten they can have orgasms without porn. They've wanked away all vestiges of imagination and respecting the person you are with to images of sexual abuse. Gotta feel sorry for them I suppose, it must be horrible to have to rely on false outside stimuli to get off. Lol.

[Wittsend13]

Yeah I do. I'm embarrassed to tell my OH though. I wonder if he will look at me differently if he ever found out.

[SolidGoldBrass]

And some people seem to have forgotten that it's not compulsory to have a partner. Wanking over sexually explicit entertainment media won't cause an unwanted pregnancy or a social disease, after all.

[EllieInTheRoom]

As I have recently kicked my porn addict husband out, I can't say I'm a fan of the stuff.

Neither is a teacher mate of mine who reprimanded a 9-year-old boy the other week for showing his mates a porn video in his mobile phone. The boy said "ah, why don't you just piss in me face Miss!"

Horrified for the poor girls in the class who will probably be expected to perform like that from the first time they have sex.

Anyway, that doesn't answer the OP at all does it.

My worry would be relying on it to get you in the mood. It's addictive, it'll destroy your sex life in the end and therefore your relationship. You read a lot threads on here about sexless marriages because, the bloke usually, has become a right wanker.

But I'm sure there's some delightful, harmless stuff out there.

LOL fucking LOL

[CaptainHindsight]

But I'm sure there's some delightful, harmless stuff out there.

I'm with you Ellie, its a sad state of affairs when we are having to incorporate porn and expectations into sex and body changing chats with DS (similar age to the child you mentioned)

Times they are indeed changing.

I just hope everyone knows what they are doing!

[MostWicked]

My worry would be relying on it to get you in the mood. It's addictive, it'll destroy your sex life in the end and therefore your relationship.

Relying on it would be dreadful. Absolutely no question about it.
But it is an incorrect and ridiculous statement to say that it will destroy your sex life and relationship. For some people it might, but I dare say there are other problems in a relationship where one person spends the night wanking to porn. Mine is better than ever, continuously improving and been going for over 20 years. Neither of us rely on porn, or even use it very much. It's an occasional pleasure.

jasmineramsden you are quite right. There are many posters here who are completely anti porn, so are not actually interested or able to listen to what I am saying, without finding ways to twist it, to back up their own opinions.

Porn doesn't do it for many of you, that's fine, it's not compulsory. It can be addictive to a small number of people, but not most. Just like most people, I enjoy a glass of wine, but am not an alcoholic.

[Joysmum]

I agree MostWicked

Porn is another string to our bow, it doesn't replace sex and isn't vital to it. It's enjoyable, as are many of the other things we do which simply an expression of love and more to do with being lustful for each other.

I don't think anybody who has posted that they like porn has for one moment suggested that everyone else ought to like it. Whereas the anti brigade see all porn as abusive and that is demeaning of the women and men involved. Just because people do what you don't agree with doesn't mean they were coerced into it or don't know their own minds or aren't capable of making their own choices.

The porn industry is a big one and has its own awards and hierarchy. By sticking to known producers and porn stars you can filter out the back street problem nastily violent and abusive porn. Mind you, sticking to top industry producers doesn't work for me as it's clearly a performance and clearly not satisfying for the people involved, just business. I don't get anything from that.

If you don't like porn, that's your choice and it's enough to say to don't get anything from it. There are probably things you like in your sex lives that wouldn't appeal to us and that's up to us but we wouldn't assume you were a victim and coerced into it because you like something we could never begin to get turned on by. That's exactly the attitude the anti porn brigade are projecting onto others.

[SolidGoldBrass]

Well, previous sex education was all about keeping yourself for your wedding night and casting girls as the sexual gatekeepers rather than people with an autonymous sexuality of their own. So if modern sex education includes discussions about sexually explicit media, and knowing the difference between fantasy and reality, and the importance of choice and consent, then that's a massive improvement. I'm not claiming that the progress that's been made in sex education is due to porn - that would be inaccurate and silly - but a more open, liberal society is much better for women than a repressive one.

Also, when people keep on and on about how porn 'damages relationships' it is worth considering that 'relationships' are not, actually, the greatest thing ever. Monogamy is a construct of the patriarchy, and one of porn's greatest achievements is that some of it makes people question monogamy and couplehood, or reject the idea altogether. Because after all, no institution or concept is more dangerous and damaging to women, statistically, than heterosexual monogamy.

[Thisisaghostlyeuphemism]

You make a good case, sgb, and if the porn industry were dominated by you, I'd agree with you. I see nothing wrong with porn as such, but the porn industry we have right now is, 95% nasty, brutish and misogynistic. Yes, there are people doing ethical stuff but they are the tiny tip of a misogynistic iceberg.
I don't like the pornified society where my young nieces are expected to be hair less and up for anything. I don't like that my 13 yr has been shown all sorts of crap by his mates and despite me saying 'its not normal' I don't know if he'll expect that from his future gf.
I know that when I read the relationship board, it says 'he prefers porn to me' or 'he's gone from porn to webcam' or 'he's been pushing my boundaries lately' etc etc. this is not about relationships but about men and women. Is porn enhancing our lives?
I don't think so.

[MerryFuckingChristmas]

I would use the sort of porn sgb talks about

Sadly, as most of it is nothing like that I will continue to consider it as demeaning, demoralising and harmful

[Montane50]

i like watching amateur porn, its something i fully expect myself and DP to share in the near future, but having a long distance relationship means its something we both do whilst apart, and freely admit to each other. Its sad if women are being exploited, but im willing to believe thats a minority and wouldnt let it stop my viewing.