Laurel. This is a cut and paste of all the things you said about this man on the first two days of this thread:
we seemed to have a lot in common, There was a lot of sexual chemistry on the phone, we agreed we both liked each other We went out and immediately hit it off. I really like him and had a good feeling about him straight away… sex (it was amazing definitely not typical awkward first sex)… couldn't keep our hands off each other. he texted me saying what a great night he had, he texted 3 times, just things like "good morning xx" I will be so disappointed if it doesn't work out.... he usually texts first thing in the morning to say good morning and then later that day, hopefully another date will happen, he'd said twice on the phone that he'd like us to go on holiday next summer together, If it seems he wants another date, which hopefully I will know by Thursday, I'll feel a lot happier, I guess I was wanting everyone on here to tell me of course he's interested, For the 2 weeks until we met on Sat he'd been sending me a good morning text, he just seemed so keen beforehand and I had such good vibes about him Really wish I hadn't fallen for him! until he started weirding out on me yesterday everything else seemed perfect, I'm pretty certain he's not on a relationship, we are friends on Facebook he asked me to meet him 3 separate occasions he was unbelievably keen, to the point where I had to tell him to back off as he was bombarding me with texts he probably was a decent guy he said "glad u don't hate me." Seems he thought I'd be annoyed at him for wanting to have sex on first date? I'd love to talk to him If I were looking at my posts objectively I'd think he wasn't interested, but from the conversations we've had it just doesn't fit with the impression I got at the time. The night before we met up, he rang me saying he was worried I would cancel and he would be tempted to turn his phone off on Saturday until we met, as he couldn't bear seeing a message from me pulling out of the date, Friday, he'd asked me to go with him on Sunday morning (the morning after our date)
All pretty positive, eh? Now this is what you ‘friends’ here said based solely on what you had said:
MONDAY : it's like men assume that as soon as we've fucked them, we're going to get all emotionally involved, he's likely to be a misogynistic arse, don't fall into the trap of thinking he might change his mind, let's see whether he passes the first wanker test, now he's shagged you he wants to keep you at arm's length in case you get "ideas", he hasn't fallen for you yet, there are a few red flags waving, he doesn't want you to assume you are exclusive, if he judged you, sod him, he is not emotionally available, Don't waste your time, he sounds like a bit of a drama llama, you don't see him again for dust apart from maybe a booty call now and again, he decided he would get his wicked way with you, He's telling you he's not interested but you're not listening, he is not really interested, this is typical male behaviour , If he just disappears , he's a wanker, he's a misogynistic arse. I don't like the sound of him, he's emotionally unavailable, he's reeling you in.
TUESDAY now he's got what he wanted, he can barely be arsed to say 'morning'. these arent good signs cut your losses, Sounds a bit of a stone age charmer cunt, why be with a man who makes you feel insecure, he is a waster a typical OD inadequate bloke, He's giving off mixed signals, which seems designed for you to overanalyse it, Don't have the talk, he's been there, done it that is a fucking terrible sign YOU ARE NOT FREE THIS SATURDAY why place such a low value on yourself He got what he wanted, he has moved on You've fallen for a fantasy don't text him he's blown cold on you you're onto a loser you shouldn't give a shit. He has ALREADY told you enough for you to be absolutely crystal fucking clear that he is either not interested, or he is a player, he might be in a relationship already and uses this dating website on the side write him off straight away - no contact at all How do you KNOW that he means what he says you're desperately clinging on to your hopes of this relationship You don't know this man You have a daughter who is 8, it's not good for her to see her mum like this. When it's right, there's none of this shit. No second guessing, no game playing, no head games, no cold feet This man isn't interested in you, I think you sound desperate Listen. There are FUCKING LOADS of them out there why isn't he clamouring to hear from you, vow to have nothing more to do with him. Delete his number, don't reply he'll toy with your feelings and affections revelling in his role as 'puppetmaster' Dump him in your mind and pay no heed to anything more that he may do or say - it has no value whatsoever Do NOT text him.
Not one of these people has met him, not one has had a conversation with him, not one has received a text from him. Do you see what happened here? By Wednesday you were giving out signals to him that you were annoyed with him, by the end of the week you were promising these ‘friends’ you wouldn’t reply to him if and when he got in touch again.
The point is you liked him, you wanted it to work. Maybe he has cooled off, but it is for to decide, based on your own experience of him. Don’t let the mumsnet harpies dictate your life for you. These people have their own agendas – they talk of experiences with other men, as though they are relevant, as though all men are the same. They just are not. Good luck!