Just got copy of injunction. advise please

[wontletmesignin]

I have just got the copy of the injunction papers which were served on my ex.

It states that i must report everything.

I have received 6 txt messages from him between the 17th and 18th of this month.
I didnt report it because i chose to just ignore and couldnt be bothered.
There wasnt anything nasty or threatening in these txts.

My question is...should i report it now? I still have them on my phone.

I have told the nursery head bits of it. Enough, i felt.
I have asked that they dont allow him to pick him up apart from a friday and they say they cant do that.
My therapist told me to speak to my solicitor in the morning tk try and put something in place with the nursery and if they cant, then just dont take him in.
The safest option is to not take him. Even if they said they wouldnt let him - he would be there on the friday ready for pick up as i would.

I will try speaking to the head again in the morning when i drop ds. Then after that, i will head back to the school to see if there are any places at their nursery. That way, his name wouldnt be there to begin with. That school takes no shit either.
My old ex went to pick 5yo ds up, and they made him wait in reception until they had rang and confirmed with me.
He didnt know about anything (still doesnt), he had PR...yet because of my ex doing that at the nursery - which is nothing to do with the school, the school acted on it immediately!
I dont understand how the nursery cant do this. Im sure its because she thinks its all me!

That is even with an injunction and solicitor letters explaining to him the days.

uff, in that case yes, far far safer just not to tell the nursery :s At least your school sounds reliable and careful.

Fingers crossed the schools nursery has a place! It would be so much easier for me as the schools nursery goes in 5minutes after my 5yo, through the same doors. I would no longer feel frowned upon for being ten minutes late at the nursery everyday.
Its just a shame for my ds. But again, if it wasnt for his dad, i wouldnt need to do this!

I'll x fingers and toes the school can squeeze him in at their nursery for you.

You are doing SO WELL. Try to keep reminding yourself of that. xx

How are you doing today won't?

have you managed to ring social services?

Thank you perfectstorm

The school has no nursery places.
But the school told me that a solicitors letter to the nursery could help. They also assured me that i am doing the right thing.

I phoned my solicitor and explained everything. Then spoke about court today. Im dreading it. I dont need to go in, im being given a side room. I just need to be in the building.

Ive phoned social services. They assured me alsk that i am doing the right thing.
They are going to do an assessment and spoke abouf a caf. Also advised me to go on the freedom programme and get back in touch with womens aid.
They also asked if they could phone the school and are still waiting for the phone call from my therapist.

Now i am waiting at my mams for court. Chest pains galore with my anxiety!

X post meerka thank you for asking

He isgoing on trial in jan on the 20th. His mother is going to be his witness. My therapist will apply a statement for me, my dad will be a witness and im going to ask my old neighbours. Its a huge ask...but i think i need to.
He is still denying it.
Although, my solicitor said thay he said in court today "i didnt understand the injunction. But i do now and ive paid the price".

My solicitor said in her eyes - thats admission.
She says they record them, but wih it being family court(i think), its confidential and so may not be allowed to be used as evidence.

Im feeling quite angry today - for the first time i think.
My solicitor told him and the judge i am stopping contact. She is going to get in touch with ss to find out exactly what they advised.
I am going to phone them again.
This is getting harder and harder.

Being the victim of a crime involves a shitload of paperwork. When the perpetrator is the father of one of your children, esp with all the background, you can magnify that a hundred-fold. I'm sorry you've got to slog through it but you need to keep going. Giving up now lets him win.

Everyone says you're doing the right thing. Keep it up!

I know this is hellish, but think where you were a month ago, and where you are now. Think where your kids were a month ago, and where they are now, too. You are making massive great strides here and he is being shown in no uncertain terms that no, he can't rule the world and have it revolve around him.

So glad you've got support from the school and SS, and a good solicitor is worth their weight in gold. From what you've said before, yours is excellent. Your Mum and Dad are brilliant too, aren't they. You have a good team helping you now. You deserve that they do, too.

Homestart, in case you were thinking of that? They can be brilliantly helpful. A woman near us has twins and they were fab for her, she says.

Thank you. I know i csnt stop now. I need to pick up the pace really.

Its just so hard. Therapist just phoned. Hes spoken to ss. He will bacn me up everuwhere needed. He has given me numbers for dv and othr things for support. He told me to stop nursery and dk it at home while he is waiting for a place elsewhere.
He is coming to see me tomorrow. Told me i have mild anxiety. No ocd and im managing well on my own.
He is going to see if i can get a psychaitry appt. To back this up. A full pyshcological assesment for court so he cannot use my mh (that he has made up) against me.

Homestart - thank you. I will be in touch with then today. And all of the other places. I need suport. From anywhere available really.

I wrote out a long post then lost it grr

But like everyone else I think you're doing just great. It must be incredibly hard but you are doing so so well. Grab all the rl support you can!

I do that all the time. Im always o

Your therapist sounds brilliant, too, and what a sensible suggestion, about getting you a proper assessment. Gaslighting you and those around you that you were severely mentally ill is in itself a pretty serious and disgusting form of abuse, so another own goal for Baldrick, hey (not sure if you've ever seen Blackadder, though!).

You deserve all the support anyone can offer. It's good to see the various agencies and individuals rallying around - there are so many good people in the world, it's just a shame the shits tend to make enough noise for fifty!

for you and your lovely DC.

Woops. The phone rang.

m always on my phone and things like that happen all the time ha.

So much to process today. Its getting very hairy and very scary. My phone may aswel be glued to my ear! Will type it all up soon .need to start tea!

And thank you again!

Thank you perfectstorm my therapist has been amazing. He is really going out of his way to help me!
He has had all differebt departments ring me offerig advice and help.the policd are coming to check my house for safety. Change locks and things. My number has been linked so if i dial 999 i dont need to speak.
There has been so much said i dont know half of it.

Witness care has offered help and advice. Offered me video link for jan. Going to show me the court room few weeks beforen so i know exactly whst is what. Its all so much!

Right...spoken to social services about keeping ds off nursery until i can find a new one - or give it a few months for assessments to be done by ss and get a court order in place.

They would have no problems with this, and advised if i did, then to take him to playgroups and the likes.
Therapist is coming at 11am tomorrow just to support some more.

I havent seen blackadder in years. Not too sure on baldrick.
I have never really thought about how bad it was that he was making out my mental health was serious.
I always believed him when he said " idont knoe what came over me. You know i lie and exaggerate things. But it got you the help, didnt it? Im going to have tk keep my mouth shut when you next see them" only he never kept his mouth shut.
He never let me open mine. He would go against everything i had said. I even had one of them, believe him and tell me i need to start anti ds again when i really didnt want to.
She was checking with the doctor to make sure i was picking up my prescription!

Im really going to put all of my focus into my eating. Listen to advice - following everything im told. Hopefully it all works out as well as it can do!

He was representing himself today, so he certainly cannot afford a solicitor for access.
Makes me feel awful thinking this way, but i am being told from people who know what they are doing

Sounds like you have a wonderful team of support around you!

Wishing you well with it all

Thank you stickysausages

You're doing great. So glad you have a decent therapist, good ones are worth their weight in gold.

Thank you gobbynorthernbird

Wooohoooo nursery transfer under way to a different school close to me!

Oh that is very good news :) they know not to let him pick him up?

Yeah. She is checking it all out though and is going to get back to me.
I guess the only way aroubd it might be to not let him know where ds has been placed. If that is possible.

The other good things about it, it is closer to home than the other one. I could actually get him there on time. Even though i will be back tracking during school drop offs, i can do it all better than the other nursery.

I just feel bad for ds. Having to get used to a new place and new people again.