Just got copy of injunction. advise please

[wontletmesignin]

I have just got the copy of the injunction papers which were served on my ex.

It states that i must report everything.

I have received 6 txt messages from him between the 17th and 18th of this month.
I didnt report it because i chose to just ignore and couldnt be bothered.
There wasnt anything nasty or threatening in these txts.

My question is...should i report it now? I still have them on my phone.

You can process it by reasoning, like the police, that if you ignored his texts now, he'd proceed slowly and end up abusing you again. It would be harder for you to enforce the injunction if you ignored it and let it reach abuse point again.
Still, that he's contacting you for no reason it's harassment.
He totally brought it upon himself. Twats, who think they can still do what they please.

You are completelt right lweji it more than likely would cycle into abuse again. It probably was already on its way there. With my trying to just ignore it, rather than acting on it.
Which would have made him feel like he still had the control, and probably would then turn nasty/nice/nasty/nice.

Now that i have acted...hopefully he will be left with no choice but to stop it!

If it helps, I kept reporting ex's abusive messages to the police, then to the prosecution service, until he stopped.
The last time he showed up around, I told him I'd call the police if I saw him anywhere near me without previous warning. I think he finally believed me, as he's been polite (no injunction) and the last time he was around, he did go to talk to me but quickly pointed out there were lots of people around and I was safe.

You really cannot open the door even a little bit. Keep it closed. And don't feel guilty about it. :)

Thank you. That does help. It gives me hope that in time, by doing what i am doing, there is a chance he will stop.
Well done for standing your ground and getting the outcome you worked hard for!!

This is why i refuse point blank to give h
im any indication that i would/will speak to him. I think even one txt with even one letter in it, would give him the belief that theres hope for us talking. When there is no hope.

I am keeping the door, closed tightly. I am trying to not feel guilty.
But every now and then it kind of washes over me, my anxiety goes through the roof and i feel terrible.
Then i reason with myself and feel quite angry for allowing myself to feel guilty.
Its quite draining!
But...it cant last forever!

Fingers crossed. :)

The officer has just phoned again. Saying he is locked up, his parents arent happy. The police have his phone.
His parents are bringing my son back tomorrow so jesus christ. Im shitting it.

He will be interviewed later on. They officer who interviews him will be in touch with me tomorrow. Also the officer ive been dealing with for a while will ring me again as soon as his shift starts tomorrow at 2pm.

Any crap off of his parents tomorrow and i have to let him know.

I feel like proper crap

Deep breath wont. Strength to you. Try to get some sleep - at least rest in bed.

Thank you! Yes i think i need to at least try getting some sleep. Im not going to do myself any favours sitting here filtering it all through my head over and ovee again.

Thank you again to all of you xx

Just to get things in perspective.Your ex might spend the night in the cells,he may even stay in there till Monday morning and appear at the local Magistrates Court,the worst that will happen there is that he will get Community Service or a Probation Order he certainly won't be getting five years.
Lets hope though he has learned his lesson and leaves you alone in the future.

Abby is right, and I hope the thought of the possibility of 5 years scares him.
Keep telling yourself that you are in the right, and he acted criminally, and against a court order. If his parents do act in any way aggressively or start blaming you in any way, send them on their way and ring the police immediately if they don't.

There's only two victims here: you and your DS. Hopefully, they'll think of him, as your ex hasn't.

But, remember that you are doing this also for your DS's benefit. For one, you are showing him how to deal with bullies and abusers. Then, he's more likely to have a more stable life if the abuse of you by your ex stops.

Thank you both!

That is the most important thing for me to remember. He has breached a court order. Its not like ive just got fed up and got him arrested over nothing.

I havent even spoken to him since the day i told him to leave. This is all of his own doing.
Its quite frustrating to hear that his parents arent happy with me.
Because i didnt ask for him to be arrested. I just gave the officer my phone, and showed him the email and he done what he felt he had to do.
He was even going to do it tomorrow after my son had been brought home, but his sergent said he needed to act now.

I am really dreading today.

As for what abby says, yes he will need to stay until he can be put infront of the next judge. The officer says it is very common for the judge to send them down for the 5 years. So i dont know what will happen.

I know the thought of prison will scare him, so hopefully it is a lesson learnt.

And you are right lweji

You did the right thing. You are compelled by a court order to report any breach, I'm not sure how it works in england, but here if you do not comply you are technically in contempt of court as you are disregarding the orders of judge if you do not report.

Dear god wontletmesignin what a nightmare man and family.

You are so strong to be able to have shown him the door and to keep doing the right thing for your son and yourself. You may not feel it but so many many women get trapped and cannot leave (or get him to leave); and you've done it, and are handling things since the right way. not too strong to say that I admire what you've done and are doing.

qaz yes he is in comtempt of court, it says something similar on the injunction papers. It is a non moleststion order with the power of arrest.

meerka i understand. It took me a long time to actually stand my ground. I had tried many times to end it, but with threats and things. I just wasnt strong enough. But i got there.

Thank you meerka I know i have done the right thing, although the guilt is often making me feel like i havent. Take that guilt away though, and it serves the bastard right.

Hopefully once today is over and done with, i can plod along as normally as i was before yesterday.

Thank you qaz also

Got me ds back no problems at all .
It did look like my ex was in the drivers seat. They had parked over the road, in a different car. My ds said dads car is broken.

It couldnt have been though, could it? I would be told if he had been released, wouldnt i?

Either way, no problems

He has been charged and will be up in court tomorrow. He is denying everything. But they have his phone, and the things he was saying in the interview were in the same way he spoke in the txts. He was a

Good when they picked him up but wasnt when he was in custody

They will also use my phone as evidence jf need be as i have a text saying "i cant switch my feelings off for you (name) i love you"
That txt is pretty obvious

He's in deep doodoo. What a plank.

Oh he is a plank indeed. Im going to phone the courts tomorrow to find out the results.

Keep strong OP

Your feeling of guilt is sooounnecessary.

Court says DO NOT contact wontletmein he has a piece of paper saying do not contact wontletmein so he contacts you and then has to face the consequences.

Anyone with an ounce of sense reading this will just say what a twat he is Why the fuck would he be so damned dumb as to send the txt.

He is such an entitled tosser that he thinks he is above the law. But he isn't, and THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

please please don't feel guilty. He dosent deserve any of it. It seems like he has chipped away at your sense of self for you to be trying to take responsibility for this. Sorry if I sound impertinent but have you considered the freedom programme is something similar. You sound so strong now, so in control. I think you just need to recognise the voice of the last little piece of twattishness that he has left in your head. And get rid of it!

Good luck. You have the silly little dick on the run now.

Did you ask your ds if his dad was in the car? You need to know because it's another breach of the injunction.

He sent those texts quite deliberately - to say to you that he could break the court order and get away with it, and because he hoped that he could lull you into a sense of false security, escalate it, and then say that you condoned it if you complained at that stage. So it's brilliant that you've called his bluff.

unearthlychild thank you. I am trying not blame myself, i do well for so long and then i feel awful! He had that down to a tee though. I used to find myself saying sorry for things ihadnt even done

little dick on the run made me chuckle

tribpot i asked my son - he said no. But was fully focused on his trains so couldnt take his word lol.
But...the officer rang me later on and said he had been charged, so it couldnt have been him.

nennypops you are probably right. He probably has done that! The funny thing about it is he is allowed to txt to confirm pick up of our ds only. He does that via his mothers phone. The other texts he sends me are via cbfsms.

Which he is denying. BUT...all of the numbers are the same - only the last digit of each msg has a different number. The first two texts he sent me via cbf he stated "its (name)"
So he has shot himself in the foot there. Those texts were on the morning before he was issued the injunction.

It doesnt feel brilliant to have called his bluff - but i do know it was the right thing to do.

He is such an ass. Gonna make himself come across ten times worse if he keeps denying it because we have the evidence. What a tool.