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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Just got copy of injunction. advise please

134 replies

wontletmesignin · 23/11/2013 13:50

I have just got the copy of the injunction papers which were served on my ex.

It states that i must report everything.

I have received 6 txt messages from him between the 17th and 18th of this month.
I didnt report it because i chose to just ignore and couldnt be bothered.
There wasnt anything nasty or threatening in these txts.

My question is...should i report it now? I still have them on my phone.

OP posts:
nauticant · 24/11/2013 21:36

That's a particularly helpful comment nennypops.

ImperialBlether · 24/11/2013 22:49

Is there anyone you know who could go to the magistrates' court tomorrow morning? It would have to be someone he doesn't know.

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 24/11/2013 22:51

No imperial i dont have anyone who could do that. The officer said i could phone up as it is public. Which i will do - i just dont know what time it will happen.
Im assuming it will be first thing since he is in custody?

OP posts:
stickysausages · 24/11/2013 23:00

Nothing constructive to add, but you sound very brave! Hope things settle down now & you can get on with your life Thanks

ImperialBlether · 24/11/2013 23:04

I think everyone's taken there or told to get there first thing, but that's not to say he'll be seen first.

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 24/11/2013 23:12

Thank you stickysausages Smile

True imperial ill just have to keep ringing every hour or so.

Surely though, if they let him go they would have to inform me?

OP posts:
incogKNEEto · 24/11/2013 23:13

I'm glad you got ds home with no problems. He is a plank - at least now it should hopefully show him that he is not above the law and that you won't be messed about by him any longer, well done Smile

Will be thinking of you tomorrow, fingers crossed this will be the end of it and you can live your life in peace from now on.

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 24/11/2013 23:18

Thank you incogkneeto
Hopefully it is the end now!

Thank you. I will update with the news as soon as i get it. Hopefully its asap in the morning!

I never could have done any of this if it wasnt for MN. So thank you all so very much Smile

OP posts:
perfectstorm · 24/11/2013 23:21

Completely agree with nennypops. This was him trying to get round the protection you have in law by seeking to totally subvert it - and to show you he was still in charge. He's such a muppet - this on top of the idiocy with the friend's bizarre messages. He's like Baldrick, isn't he - an endless series of unbelievably cack-handed Cunning Plans. With any luck he'll have to wind his neck in from now onwards.

Have you spoken to your solicitor yet, to update her on the latest? And I'm glad your in-laws seem to have the sense to understand hassling you will only make things worse for him. That's small mercies, right?

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 24/11/2013 23:31

Yes im pleased about his parents listening too. They were warned nicely last night.
I havent spoken to my solicitor yet with it being the weekend. She will be on my list of phone calls in the morning though.

Yes, fingers crossed he will be left with no choice but to sort his head out now!

It makes sense that that was his game plan. It goes with his text that said "keep communication just between me and you. No one else"

He has known me as nothing but a push over. Im so weak and submissive.
So he never would have expected this.

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 25/11/2013 02:38

Well good for you, the shock he's getting in the morning! Stay strong, you have a very straightforward case.

moldingsunbeams · 25/11/2013 04:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 25/11/2013 09:54

Thank you oldladyknowsnothing and mouldingsunbeams
You have a good point, moulding. It makes sense!

I have phoned the courts - the listings dont start until ten. Even then, if they are really busy he could be pushed to this afternoon.
She told me to ring back then.

I asked if he was released would i be informed. She said that would be witness protection who deal with that.
So i dont know if i would be informed??
It all depends on whether he has a mark next to his name!
I would assume that i would be - but im not 100% ...and that makes me feel just a litttttle bit uncomfortable!

OP posts:
moldingsunbeams · 25/11/2013 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 25/11/2013 10:19

He is off until wednesday now. I also have no idea about these things. I will just ring every hour if i have to

OP posts:
Original poster
wontletmesignin · 25/11/2013 10:43

God it hasnt even been an hour yet! Would i be stupid if i did ring every hour?

OP posts:
Meerka · 25/11/2013 10:55

I'd reckon ring back to ask Witness Protection's number, then ring them to ask how it works.

Then leave it until say 2pm to ring to find out what's happening. If he's not been seen by then, ring at 4.30.

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 25/11/2013 11:14

Thank you. Just done that. They arent in the office so i have left my name and number asking for them to ring me back.

He still hasnt been seen yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
wontletmesignin · 25/11/2013 12:50

Havent heard anything yet. Ive done the whole house in order to stop me picking up the phone again! Theren is nothing left to do! Ds doesnt want me to play yet... Hmm

OP posts:
Meerka · 25/11/2013 13:20

you must be on tenterhooks ... and its probably difficult to go for a walk in case they phone, its not the sort of thing you want to talk about in public is it!

only thing I can suggest is trawling mumsnet or something

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 25/11/2013 13:39

Mondays are always busy in tne lower courts, because of people drunk and disorderly etc over the weekend. One court I attended (as support for a friend, emergency family thing) over-ran badly but it was all over by about 4pm. I'd keep calling every hour just to be sure.

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 25/11/2013 14:05

I am meerka i didnt think it would be this bad for me! Me and ds have been and helped my neighbour clear the leaves out of his garden and then me and ds done ours! Me fingers were numb!!

Good point oldladyknowsnothing i never thought of the weekend shananigans!

I have just phoned and they still have nothing on file. The courts are just starting again after dinner. So ill try again at 4.

I dont have any clue what might happen!
The officer only mentioned prison and said it is very common for that to happen. So thats that wedged into my head. I will feel terrible if that does happen.
Although, in a strange way - i would like him to see how it feeks to not have any control over your own life!

OP posts:
Meerka · 25/11/2013 14:13

wontsign, if he does go to prison or if he does not go to prison, it is not for you to feel terrible becuase it is not your responsibility. It is his.

You have your actions to be responsible for, he has his. He knew the court ruling and could choose to act either way. You aren't accountable for his decisions. You never were. Not even when you were together. Your son, yes. Him, no.

When you have reached a calmer place, may I suggest some counselling with someone who strikes you as sensible when you meet her? I dont mean to be rude but I think from everything you have posted over the last months that you have some confused boundaries.

Bant · 25/11/2013 14:34

Meerka has it right - if your ex had gone out and robbed a bank, would that be your responsibility? Even if he was going to give you all the money, it's still not your responsibility

He knew he was disobeying a court order, he disregarded it and did it anyway.

Yes, you chose to report him breaking the order, but you would have been in breach of the order yourself if you hadn't done so. You could have ended up in jail yourself, by protecting someone who it is not your responsibility to protect - and where would your DS be then?

You did the right thing, he did the wrong thing, and he's facing the consequences of his actions now.

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 25/11/2013 14:51

You are both right.
I had a long oost but ive lost it. Gotta.be quick for school run.

I phkned my therapist this morn. Ive known i needed it but been thinkjng i can do this on my own. Obviously not.

Anyway he had had a cancellation today and hes coming for 3:40 today.

I have him for my anxiety/ocd but i had been doing brilliant on my own.
Nows the timing for him i think.

Somebody mentioned it on Mn yesterday and it kind of give me a kick up the arse.

I will let you know how it goes and also about the courts.

Obviously something is wrong if i am still feeling bad for his actions.

Thank you xxx

OP posts: