The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Stepping Into Christmas With Sobriety On Their Minds.

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

This is a thread for those who are worried about their drinking habits, relationships with alcohol, and/or drugs.

Even if you think your intake has gone up more today than the last or this week than last, come and join us on Gerald, the amazing, always room for more, fully stocked with glorious treats and donned in his Christmas Decorations, Bus!

We are a supportive thread, full of very different posters, from various backgrounds. Some of us drink in moderation, allowing ourselves the odd glass or two as a treat, or just because we're in control of our drinking for that day.

One Day At A Time.

We have those who abstain completely, and those who wake every day to Day 1 and hope with all of their hearts that they can, and will, make it to Day 2.

If you've followed our journey to date, you'll know who most of us are by now smile and we kind of have two 'sayings', that sum up who we are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

That said, we will not have any bashing of support groups, such as AA or Community Addiction Support Teams, or even other support threads, posts like that will be reported if the need arises, so 'Orange Paper supporters' don't waste your time please :)

This Bus is a place for honesty, sanctuary and safety, something that has taken almost four years for a number of very special, very lovely, very honest and caring Babes to establish.

So, come find a seat, grab something warm from the supply cupboard at the back of the Bus, it's filled with (non alcoholic or narcotic) delicious, luxury treats and HUGE fluffy quilts, plus anything else you might need to help YOU get through YOUR day a minute, or an hour at a time.

And, if you'd like to see where this all began - This Is The Reason We're All Here, The Original JWN Thread

And This Is Our Previous Thread, With Links To Those Over The Past Few Years

We hope to meet you soon :) x

Beaches good idea to move the goal posts. It's funny how, when you've got a good couple of weeks under your belt, you start to think that you don't ever want to drink again. Suddenly, the thought that used to be so terrifying is rather attractive isn't it.

I think it's because when we're not drinking we feel that we are making the right choice and, whilst it might not be easy all the time, it is at least doable. There is a sense of achievement and success. It's a great feeling, much better than any temporary high from alcohol.

hope all you can do is work your hours, put in your best effort and if it doesn't all get done (which is won't because you're understaffed), that is not your responsibility. It really helps to focus just on what you are doing right and let the rest of it go. It's so unfair to put people in this position but don't make yourself sick with worry, that won't make anything better.

Hi to all, got to dash, see you later x

Thanks faire. Am going in, only slightly hungover. Wish me luck!

morning all

isn't that what we all do?

Have a good trip indie and stay strong

evening all

I'm exhausted. Where's that boing?? Still feeling slightly off-kilter. I want to get a few weeks/months of sobriety under my belt and feel the real difference. That will be a novel feeling. Pregnancy doesn't count because, well, I was pregnant. And prior to that any extended periods of sobriety were probably when I was younger than 18. Scary thought.

Off to bed. Have a good Monday. xxxx

Just checking in. Mouse Hugs for you today x

Afternoon Babes
Good luck isinde you know you can do it
hope sorry about work situation sounds bl88dy awful. Stress leads me back to the bottle, don't beat yourself up. Good on you for climbing straight back on the bus and keep strong for day 1
faire really wish I could get to the point of that not wanting to drink again Wise words re knowing we are making the right choice and the feeling of achievement.
mouse hope things are getting better for DM and all the family. Hugsxx
soc Another day under your belt, go you

Well I am on day 5, really got a feeling I am going to cave today
Arguing with WW since I woke up about this. Not about picking up this morning but the One tonight won't hurt, you've done well. you derserve it BLARNEY at the moment the bitch is winning the argument
Such a shite day yesterday. NSDH failed to inform me that members of his family were arriving expecting to be fed. Made an already bad day worse.
Probably didn't tell me as he decided not to give me any shopping money this weekend as I am spending too much .He doesn't even cook not anything not ever He wants to see printouts of all my bank statements before it resumes. He can wait until hell freezes over or Im too drunk to care.
AH theres a good reason to not drink today. I stand up to control freak better when im sober .
I will not be drinking today.
Sorry to come here to vent, had to get it out of my system
Keep strong babes, catch you laterXX

rural, that's terrible about "D"H! What a wanker. But the good news is despite such a crap day you did it, af!!! Massive well done to you babe! I get that, the voice whispering about reward. Take it hour by hour tonight babe and hopefully it'll fuck off and annoy somebody else (nobody we know though!!!)
Day 4 here. No urge yet but will remain alert later tonight!
ma how are you today?
mouse how is your mum? And dad?
hope I second faire with her advice to just do what you can do. Sounds awful & I really feel for you.
Hi to all you other babes, keep fighting the good fight!

thanks mama well done keep strong day 4 is brill. Control Freak -yes he is a wanker. He tries to control everything and actually does nothing iyswim.

Thanks for your words Faire. You are right, I do feel that not drinking is the 'right' choice for me and it does give a sense of achievement that is very welcome. There is also relief. Relief that I can actually do it, I am a very habitual daily drinker of wine and one night here and there were my best successes for ages, years. I am still afraid to say forever but also have some concerns about how many more chances I might have to change. For today, no drinking

Mouse hoping there is some good news for your family today.

Spanna you WERE up early! Well done on beating the wicked witch yesterday.

rural,as Mama said, even on a crap day you fought the WW and won, bloody well done. I would hate having guests sprung on me and have to feed them. I love cooking for our little family but anyone else leaves me stressed and incompetent in the kitchen. Budgeting for food is a bloody nightmare wherever you are, it is so expensive just for the basics, sorry your dh isn't more switched on to what you do X (twunt, may adopt this expression )

Im. Hope your jet wash blasted the hell out of the kitchen

Waves to green, Ma, isinde, soc, mama, hope and all other babes and lurkers x

Hellloooo !!!

Sorry not to have been around, I've been travelling and remembering what it's like to have a propper job. I'm f**king exhausted, learning all new stuff and systems and suchlike. Not being a very good or inspirational babe either, bit too stressed and not sleeping well.

I've been dipping in and out to see how you're all doing. Sorry not to namecheck, the bus has moved along really fast and I see there's another fred about abstinence. I think it goes to show that the problem is more widespread than ever. Everyone drinking on Corrie last night.

Good night everyone and hope you keep the WW at bay on this cold evening (snow here in Frenchy France). Must just say Mouse sending you a ((hug)) from me, and Ma I see you asked after me - see ya does luffs me reeelly . Indie have a safe trip, I'd forgotten how much I hate flying.

Beaches I understand that sense of relief you have. For years I struggled to have just one af day, it's like my default setting was set to drink. since joining the thread I've managed more af days than days drinking, something I wouldn't have thought possible :)

Rural well done on not drinking. If my in laws descended on me and expected feeding I think I'd have wine on an IV drip! Seriously I feel angry for you being put on the spot like that x

Hope your enjoying the job ladame despite the exhaustion x

Who's nicked my triangle??

Had a totally stupid. Had 2 glasses of wine last night - not even sure I really wanted them.

Not sure if that contributed (probably) but was unable to get child to school this morning she has a bit of a cold, various other excuses

New baby next door bawling it's head off most of the night - even woke up DH, and he normally sleeps through anything

Just feel so guilty about not going to work...

Actually DH was supposed to be taking her to school, couldn't get her up, and just felt so exhausted I gave in and stayed home with her.

[I realise the new parents next door have had less sleep than anyone - except the baby]

Hi all

Ladame!! Great to hear from you again and thanks for the update. It all sounds very hectic. Time to put your feet up and take a hot chocolate break.

Rural remind me again why you're still with him? If my dh's family had turned up unexpectedly like that, I would do one of three things:

1. Say hi to everyone... 'make yourself at home, dh will look after you but unfortunately I've got a prior commitment'. Then I would walk out of the house and leave them to it.

2. Say to dh, in front of everyone, 'How lovely, we can all eat together, can I have some money to shop for food please?' - smile sweetly and wait for him to cough up.

3. Say, oh, lovely to see you but I'm afraid we've got nothing in, let's eat out - smile sweetly.

Sweetie everyone needs a duvet day now and again. Just tell her that's her lot for the year

It sounds like we might be in for lots of snow this winter, I wonder how many school days/work days will be lost. I want to be sensible and get some supplies in - shovels in the cars, blankets, all that kind of stuff that they recommend but dh thinks the weathermen will get it wrong as usual.

I'm not so sure...

Got to go out to parents evening in a bit, see you later x

Evening everybody :)

I've come to the right place it would seem. I've made a decision to stop drinking for a set time and then see if I can manage or control my drink demon after that.

This is my objective:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1915121-I-have-a-problem-with-drink

I must admit that the idea of spending the rest of my life without touching a glass of wine is horrific to me so I want to find a way of drinking in moderation.

Hi Kwitter (nice name), welcome to the bus. I haven't had a chance to read your thread yet but will take a look at it.

Welcome to the bus kwitter take a seat
Wise people will be along shortly

< wonders where all the babes are hiding tonight>

Checking in. AF day here - these are definitely getting easier and more frequent.have eaten a vast amount of cheesy mashed potato though so am too stuffed to move!
Welcome kwitter and a big bonjour to the elusive ladame
No I do NOT have your triangle "sweetie". I have one of my own.
rural oh rural.....I wish I had the words to tell you how much I want you to be free of him. To have somewhere to go where you can be safe and free from abuse. I KNOW you will do it one day. I pray it comes soon. Keep strong in your head and bear as much as you can for now but please, please, please make plans so that you are ready when the time comes.

Welcome to the bus kwitter lots of wise supportive babes here. Will read your thread in a mo
ladame lovely to see you back here. Sounds like you are busy busy busy. Hope you feel a bit less stressed soon, put your feet up when you can and have
faire Nearly did no 1 on your list. Really wanted to just run away. Sure some of his family noticed something was amiss I was so had to hide away in the bedroom for a while to calm down .
To be fair most of them are lovely people and 2 very young stepgrandchildren were involved. They had asked NSDH if it would be OK as there was some business to discuss (re the family business) so wasn't really their fault. They all think the sun shines out of NSDH rear end. He is sweetness and light when they are around. Its me and to some extent my family who see his other side.
Still with him because don't want to turn DS's world upside down. He loves his dad and his dad is good to him. Bit of a Disney dad but they have similar interests and do a lot together. Other reasons too but a bit complicated. Biding my time but as ma has said more than once ONE DAY, ONE DAY and that certainty keeps me going
Anyway much calmer here now and did have words today with NSDH many of them swear words. The upshot is I now have shopping money and extra to buy myself some new clothes.

Well back to business, hows it going todays non drinkers are we winning.
Im how about you ?

Day 4, ww whispered earlier but was pretty easy to shoo her away, surprised me! i'm getting a cold so probably won't feel like wine for a bit now anyway. (Stop projecting mama!)
Take good care of yourselves everyone!

ma xposted for your kind words.Know you understand. I am getting stronger being a/f certainly helps with that. One wonderful glorious day of that I AM CERTAIN.

Well done rural now buy a cheapy new clothes thing to satisfy when he asks what did you get, and stash the extra cash. Keep stashing, even a pound or two at a time. Be prepared!

Now babes a wee something that made my day!
I had to email a guy who had done some work for us before, and who I am a tad drawn to , and I mentioned an event I am going to on Wednesday which I assumed he would be at, and ended with "catch up with you then".
He then phoned me and said, sorry, he wasn't going to be at the event on Wednesday but " if I had known you would be there, I would have been ". Readers, I blushed but it made my feckin day!

Go ma, you saucy minx you! rural good to hear you will one day make your escape. Keep on keeping on. Forgot to mention my dreams last night featured names from these threads and Amy winehouse! Can't remember any detail, guess its not surprising since any spare minute I have has been spent trawling through this thread and previous ones! Sorry, rambling now...