The dating thread 65

[Queenofthedrivensnow]

Also broken, you say he just vanished but that to me says one day he just stopped contact without any explanation, didn't you say he explained to you that he wanted to call it a day?

Broken if you really feel you'd like to reply then maybe something along the lines of " thanks for that info, yeah all well with me, hope work has settled down now and life is treating you well, broken "

Broken......he dissapeared on you, and then you pestered him enough until he told you that he didn't want a relationship with you? WHY would you want to see him again??? Like powpow said, none of us are meaning to be cruel....but this really does not sound like the guy for you. People keep mentioning the SATC episode/subsequent book/film ''He's Just Not That Into You''....it's an attitude that's worth remembering I think. Definitely has helped me rationalise a few guys over the years.

It sounds like you're in quite a sad place at the moment, and looking for someone else to help make you happy. That's not a healthy way to start any relationship - happiness needs to come from yourself first.

With my stuff......I really can't decide whether to give dimples one more shot or not!!! It has been nearly 24 hours since he texted asking to meet up again and I haven't replied, although I have also just got some bad news of my own about something he knows about so I do have an 'excuse' of my mind being elsewhere anyway.

Oneday it's a tricky one... Have you rescheduled with housemate yet or is he still waiting to hear about his family member?

Gaga, dare I ask has normal communication resumed??

Hello all!

Well back from my lunch...

I had a lovely time and I think he quite liked me. He asked if he could see me again and if I was free this weekend. So we've made plans to go out on Saturday.

There was definitely a 'spark' there.

I'm keeping the rules firmly in mind though.

Awwww that's good Folkgirl! I love happy stories

Hope I have a spark with my date Saturday. He been very keen so far but we've not met yet so soon see

Good news Folkgirl, sounds l

Stupid phone. Sounds like a promising start!

Poffed not rescheduled yet, waiting to see if they are getting better he won't go.

Broken, if he's that snippy in the early days then he'd be hell further down the line, doesn't stop your hurting though, sorry x

I have a date with solicitor on Saturday, just some early drinks. BUT! We only chat the odd line through the site, we exchanged numbers and have sent maybe two texts confirming numbers. Haven't heard for a while so messaged to see if it's still on, it is. BUT, he's changed his location from newcastle to London :-/

Reckon he's a serial dating playah?

Broken, you sound really sad about this guy, which is why I hate to say this but think you really do need to accept...that he's just not that into you, and for what ever reason, regardless of what lovely things he told you he doesn't want you anymore. He may have promised all sorts but he's changed his mind. He may well have gone back with his exes but he's not with them now is he, so who broke up the first and second times? Him, because he doesn't know what he really wants? The sooner you can go cold turkey from him and accept this the sooner you can stop torturing yourself. Sorry . The times I've tortured myself trying to get into the minds of BFs who have gone cold is crazy, and I really wish I'd stopped making excuses for them and just accepted they weren't that into me.

Broken Like everyone says, it's horrible when men go off the radar but it happens to us all - you're not alone! You are the prize and deserve to be treated with more respect, don't torture yourself thinking about what he may or may not be thinking.

Folk - sounds great, I'm jealous!

Stupid - does he travel lots with work? Ask him about it on Sat!

Detective is annoying me again! I got really cross last week when he cancelled 4 times and he's promised to try lots harder. But now he's impossible to pin down to a date - he's so scared of breaking the date that he wants to leave it all last min to plan going out this Fri. Which is essentially the same problem, because I will still have to keep Fri eve free just in case... this is all feeling like too much stress and not enough gain! Trouble is when we're together he's lovely. But I can't see this problem going away.

Well, based on a single lunch (!) I'm going to map him onto my criteria based on first impressions:

• someone I can get along with we got along well, he's definitely intelligent and educated (PhD) and he appears to have a similar social attitude to me too

• someone who is interesting Not enough evidence to say, but seemed so and def doesn't do football which is good enough for me at this stage!

• someone I can do stuff with definitely open to new experiences - he said he liked that some of my interests were things he'd never done but would love to try and I mentioned a couple of other things today and he seemed interested in giving them a go

• someone I wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen with if we bumped into friends/family He was definitely attractive and had a nice smile and nice arms (which I like). But also obviously 10 years older than me

• someone I can have lots of really good sex with Well I certainly wouldn't be averse to finding out...

• someone who accepts me for who I am probably too soon to tell, but he was making all the right noises today

• someone emotionally intelligent First signs were good and no red flags

I've heard some shocking things on first dates over the past 4 months and didn't hear anything today to give me any cause for concern.

So, he did all the work today e.g. paid for drinks/lunch; arranged a second date; behaved like an absolute gentleman whilst making it clear he was attracted to me, so do I text him and thank him for a lovely afternoon and say I'm looking forward to Saturday? Or do I wait for him to contact me?

Come on dating oracles, share with me your wisdom!

God that was long, sorry!

Personally, I'd thanks him and say that you're looking forward to the next date :)

Sounds promising FolkGirl. Worth a second date I reckon.

Oh yes, definitely worth a second date

Thanks Stupidhead that's sort of what I was thinking.

I'd also text saying thanks and looking forward to seeing him again.

Problem solved, he's just texted to say it was lovely meeting me :)

Folk girl that seems like as near as possible to a perfect first date!

He sounds just as interested as you too which will hopefully eradicate the stupid mind games and will I /won't I shite that some of us have been struggling with.

All good so far but a quick look at the rules wouldn't be a bad idea ( not to be a party pooper) just so you don't invest too much too soon... are there any other potentials floating around too?

I think so, Poff

I've had the will I/won't I/will he/won't he/does he/doesn't he shite too. But because I wasn't on this thread I had to navigate it all on my own :'(

Don't worry, I'm bearing the rules in mind . I have been all along. I've had two 6 week flings and I ended both of them because the game playing/waning interest started. Both seemed quite surprised, but I'm not interested in being with just anyone. I want someone to think I'm amazing!

Oh I won't be investing emotionally too soon either. I've been chatting with a couple of men and am supposed to have another date this weekend with Italian Man. I know that he only wants something casual. He's very good looking...

Folk I think you are going to be a very good addition to this thread.. You may have to go part time in work for a while as you're going to be very busy answering searching questions on here!

Super.. Did you ever ascertain what detective actually did for a living? Or is it classified? Lol

Evening ladies

folk sounds promising, yep I would text just to say thanks for lunch! nice to meet you etc.
Interesting in what you say about 6 week flings, I've just got to that mark with supermarket man.
super why is he cancelling?? Would annoy me too, perhaps you should be a little less available, if he is keen he will sort it out. Is he a detective??

Supermarket man did start texting today, but had a tale of woe, his ex is not coping well apparently, their 2 DC live with her and he works away, so him suddenly being happy and telling her about me didn't go down well.

I appreciate his honesty and he explained he had a lot on his mind last two days, hence lack of texts.

I'm a bit