The dating thread 65

[Queenofthedrivensnow]

past not pays!

Oneday yesbut

Hi - have been getting messages from some guy who thinks because we have a high affinity score (I bloody HATE those) that we're well matched. which may be ok but I don't fancy him AND he lives a bit far away.

anyway if you are in London area and get Metro newspaper there's an article on dating site Doing Something which is where you do stuff like eg yoga etc. they're offering 1 month trial for £12 normally £29 quote trial12. www.doingsomething.co.uk

maybe my Cha Cha dance class tomorrow may turn up fresh meat.

I am the prize!

I'm reasonably attractive, I look after myself reasonably well, I've got lovely children, I've got lots of hobbies and interests, I'm willing to try new things, I'm willing to share my life with someone (if they're worth it) and not keep them at arm's length, I've got no interest in playing games.

My lunch date is in 2.5 hours. I'm just about to have a bath and get ready. I hope I like him when I get there, I hope he likes me.

But I'm the prize.

I'll report back later.

Oneday I know what you mean about going psycho, I think in my case it was a culmination of the discovery of his profile on pof and the feeling that he should be trying extra hard to reassure me things are ok..
we only get to see each other weekends so I'm just getting tired of saying well lets just see how things go this weekend... They always go so fabulously that I quickly forget about the previous week of uncertainty, only for it to start all over again as soon as he leaves
Broken, i think that's probably as far as you should take the texts...did you reply already to his saying he really hopes you're ok?

Stupid... You gotta admire his nerve lol.. Ugh

Sooper... 4 times in a row?? Please tell me you weren't having to arrange sitters!

Folk.. Fingers crossed here for ya,
Don't forget the loo update

Can't do a loo update - no smart phone! But I'll be planning what I'm going to say, don't you worry about that.

Oneday it is tough I know, not nice to think you're hurting someone's feelings but just remember, you're being straight and honest with him, you're not stringing him along and leaving him wondering which is the kindest thing...
One thing though, if housemate wasn't on the scene would you be waiting longer before you decided about dimples?

I've got a date on Saturday afternoon with "MrK" and I'm really looking forward to it! I'd met him on POF a while back, but got involved with my gorgeous (now ex) FWB so told him I was no longer looking. We got back in touch and are finally meeting. He's not looking for a serios relationship and nor am I (scares the hell out of me) so he would make ideal FWB material. He's pretty silly over the phone, which I like, so I bet we're going to have great laugh.

Folkgirl, totally agree with wanting a man who has you on his mind a lot so isn't distracted and "forgets" to get in touch. I keep reminding myself of the "he's just not into you" Sex and the city scene, and it's really helping me stay in control of my emotions. There are rarely excuses; if someone wnats to get in touch or meet if they're really keen they will IMO.

"Thing is up until today he has been incredibly attentive, then nothing. I hate all this bullshit"
Lady, it's shit isn't it. Even if I tell my head not to be bothered about it my heart still tells me it is. I think that's the main reason why I only want a FWB situation now, because I want the fun without the emotional crap.

Poffed.....very good question, I have been wondering that myself. I think I would probably give him one more date if the other guy wasn't around. But there really were a few moments on Monday night, especially after I realised quite how much he reminds me of my brother, that I proper shuddered. I was super tired that night though, and he knew (couldn't really hide it), I do feel like it probably wasn't a very fair 3rd date, and he is seeming really keen...aah. Maybe I should see him one more time.

brokenhearted.....what do you want to happen, how do you want the conversation to go? I tend to try and work out what end result I want and aim towards that with my responses/questions.

FolkGirl hope you are having a nice lunch!

Hmm brokenhearted.....it really is up to him to get to know you as much as he would like to, if he wants to get to know you better then he should be making the effort to do that, not you offering yourself on a plate just in case he can be bothered to give you a second chance. You are the prize remember!!! If you don't know what you want, then in all honesty my best advice would be to stop it completely, probably delete his number etc too to avoid this temptation (I know how it feels, I am awful for sending late-night drunk texts to a certain recent ex, it always starts a short catch-up convo and I feel embarrassed for starting it, he is never interested in carrying it on beyond the minimal pleasantries!!!)

Broken I totally agree with what Oneday has said.

It is hard brokenhearted, but whilst you're fixating on this guy, you're not going to be interested in anyone else.

Definitely not easy broken. IMO the best way to try and get over something is no contact. If you text now and again it just sets you back.

Broken I'm not trying to be cruel just give an outside perspective. You said a while back that he said he could not see a relationship happening with you. Not sure how there is a way forward from that. Honestly you deserve someone who does want that with you. The more time you spend thinking about this guy the less open you leave yourself to meeting someone great.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter what the timescale is. It doesn't change the end result. i know it is very hard to understand how he could decide that when he was so busy with other things.

Using me as an example, I can tell quite quickly if I could see myself wanting or not wanting a possible relationship with someone. He could just operate at a faster pace thought process wise than you do.

You do seem like a lovely person and deserve a great guy.

Broken I think you'll only drive yourself mad trying to work out why he didn't want to pursue things... I reckon the bottom line is if he wanted to make another go of it then he would contact you again.
Did you interpret his text as a question or a statement? i.e. " i hope you are well?" Or " I hope you are well".