The dating thread 65

[Queenofthedrivensnow]

Hello, please can I join you all again?

I'm feeling utterly dejected and down about this whole OD lark...
Someone I've been emailing with for about 4 weeks asked me on a coffee date a few days ago (he asked me if I was free to meet that day, so no time to get nervous). We only had about an hour with eachother as I had a work meeting afterwards, but he was lovely and we had lots in common. I texted him about an hour and a half later to say I'd had a lovely time and would love to meet again, he replied a couple of hours later to say the same and that let's meet up next week. I asked when he would be free and he didn't respond until yesterday (we met on Thurs)

I have the same problem as Hormonal - I can see he's been online Friday and yesterday. He was the last person to view my profile yesterday, so I clicked on his too and 'liked' him. Can see he's been online again since and looked at my profile, and hasn't liked me back :(

I'm being too over eager perhaps? Bant would you find it over eager for someone to 'like' you AFTER meeting up?

I'm no good at playing it cool - if I like someone, I get way too emotionally invested way too soon :(

HelloBoys - I noticed that you'd been on Doing Something - I might sign up. What's the calibre of men like - are they all quite young? I'm 36 and get the impression it's for people slightly younger...

Why, Broken??

Thought date went well Broken?

Tiger bear yes I feel your pain. My guy and I have chatted but he doesn't seem quite so keen anymore. He was the one all over me too. I just don't understand men at all

broken Whats happened?

Tiger The only way I can do OD is to be communicating with lots of men at the same time, as if theres just one or two i start to buy into them a little emotionally which can never lead to any good.

I sent a load of messages to some guys last week and now loads of them are messaging me, and I'll probably meet up with a few. Its a numbers game. Read the thread rules and try to regard it as a hobby.

Hi tiger, after going out on a date together and already setting up another date he probably doesn't see the point of 'liking' your profile. You have already met and obviously like each other enough in person.

I always thought that it was to catch someone's attention and test the waters to see if they like you before you start emailing.

Tiger - I do not think all is lost here at all. I don't generally 'like' people back, if I'm interested I just send a message. Have you arranged a second date? As much as it's crappy, it seems to be standard OD behaviour to keep looking until quite a few dates in. I dated someone for 3 mths and then found him online, the git! Keep looking and messaging people, the more interest ?ou have the less you'll get too attached to one guy.

Hormonal - I don't understand these guys either. There just seems to be no manners involved with OD!

There just doesn't seem to be anyone good online at the moment in my area! I'm meeting a guy this wed which I was all excited about til he showed his mum my pic! Big sigh - another single Christmas lies ahead!

Broken - that's such a shame. But best to knock it on the head early on if distance is going to be an issue? And at least you got a good snog!

Hormonal - same here, he was the one emailing me more than I emailed him initially. To be honest, I hadn't fancied him from his pictures particularly, and also thought that for both of us it was more of a 'someone to chat to online' kind of thing as neither of us had mentioned meeting up for the first 3 weeks of emailing. Now I've met him, I really do fancy him...

Backonthefence - that's a good point, I guess men probably don't think in the same way and don't get why I'd probably want a 'like' back

Superdooperpenguin and Twodays - I know, I know, shouldn't get too hung up on one person, and keep the options open etc. Just find it so hard to keep a distance emotionally. In the last 2.5 months I've had 9 dates - 3 with the same person (who then disappeared) and the rest just weren't right. If you've found someone you like, to me it feels weird to go out with loads more/message more...as I'd hate the thought of the one I like to be doing the same, if that makes sense?

Also, he's online A LOT (but then, so am I )

Broken what did he say in the text this morning? Is it a def 'no' do you think? Sounds from the text last night that he likes you...

Superdooperpenguin - I'm probably a bit naff, but I think him showing his mum your pic is quite nice! :)

broken how do you feel about the distance issue?

I have renewed my Match membership, may as well, now supermarket man has been kicked into touch.

Thought I was the only one who thought that was nice showing pic to mum ha ha. We seem similar Tigerbear

I've probably messed up now cos I saw him online and messaged 'u got someone else to chat to now' he then text me saying 'are you being paranoid?' Oh dear

Don't blame you Gaga, plenty more where he came from....I'm chatting to 4 now

Hormonal - oh dear, sounds like the sort of thing I'd do, messaging him while he's online - soooo tempting!!

Sounds like you're moving on though, what with 4 on the go!! :-)

Ha yes Tigerbear just trying to take my mind off him. I wouldn't mind but I didn't even fancy him to start with!

Aww, Broken he sounds nice, replying straight away is good!

Hormonal are you going on another date with the one you like, or has he gone AWOL?

Is anyone else on Soulmates? I'm on there and an totally intimidated by the profiles of all the other women (especially the 35-40 age group - my category) Yes, I've been sad and taken a look at the competition - BAD move!! Everyone else is stunning, well travelled, speaks about 10 languages, super up on their music, gigs, etc. I feel invisible, and I'm not that bad looking, educated, own business etc :(

Yes I think so Tigerbear, he said he wants to see me again so I guess we'll see. He said I gotta trust him or else what's the point? So I guess I better chill out ha!

Tiger - there's no one answer for the post-date liking thing.

I had a date with one woman last year, it went well, I liked her when we met, I asked her for a second date and she said yes. The next day I saw she'd 'liked' me or winked at me, can't remember exactly, but it put a grin on my face

Earlier this year I had a date with a different woman. Date wasn't fantastic, she annoyed me in several ways and I wasn't feeling 'it'. So I didn't ask her out again. 2 days later she 'liked' and winked at me. That didnt change my mind. It made it obvious to my lizard hind-brain that I could get her into bed if I wanted to, but I try not to do that when there's no potential for more.

Since then, the same woman has winked at me or liked me 12 times. It's just a bit sad and creepy now.

But that's my situation. I winked back at the first one, didnt at the second one, but everyone's different

Hormonal - fingers crossed then for your second date!

Mine texted earlier on- more of a 'hope you're having a nice weekend' than anything else, but hasn't responded to the one I sent back.
On a good note, he hasn't been online (yet!) today...

Thanks for your opinion Bant. That's exactly it, same as your first woman where you liked her back, I thought it would make him smile and at least acknowledge it. The fact that he hasn't makes me feel a bit sad (I know, I'm being paranoid and analysing things too much!)

Are things still going well with Ultrafox?

I'm on soulmates, I try not to look at the competition! I'm a 25 year old single mother so I reckon I'm at a disadvantage already, never mind not speaking 12 languages and so on! BUT, there's more to luurrve and attraction than that, I reckon.