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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The dating thread 65

999 replies

Queenofthedrivensnow · 03/11/2013 22:09

Grin
OP posts:
Hormonalhell · 21/11/2013 18:14

Ooops that was meant to be crossed out not underlined Shock

ladygoingGaga · 21/11/2013 18:22

dont if you have a good feeling about him that's all you need Smile

girlie I'm not sure there is a connection between size of hands and feet and willy, ex had small feet at a size 8, but a more than ample sized other think girth
Although I think you are going to have to enlighten us when you find out Grin

I do agree, that size doesn't matter, I've seen all sorts, its what sort of lover they are

superdooperpenguin · 21/11/2013 19:18

What is kindest - to text last night's date with a thanks but no thanks immediately or wait to see if he texts me first and then do it? I hate this bit almost as much as I hate being dumped!!

JustALittleGreen · 21/11/2013 19:46

I would wait, super, maybe he'll be struck with a sudden bolt of intuition and be too embarrassed to ask again?!

girlie, we're all on tenterhooks now, you'll HAVE to sleep with him :D

I've been messaging London guy as well as Mr Jam, and he sent me some of his band's songs. He has the sexiest voice I've ever heard! I'm tempted to get on the next southbound train. I could listen to that all night!

ladygoingGaga · 21/11/2013 20:07

I would wait too super

Mr jam sounds interesting, I do like a nice voice Grin when are you seeing him?

TwoDays · 21/11/2013 21:27

Having become rather meh about OD over the past few weeks - tired of meeting up with men who turn out to be nothing like their photo and/or dull - I sat out for a little while and then this week made an effort to message 20 a few possibles so now have a flurry of interest from 6 men. Must remember to query their shoe size

dontcallmehon · 21/11/2013 22:06

Ooh got date 5 with geeky. And he asked me. And he just sent me a text that made me laugh out loud. I think I'm in trouble...

ladygoingGaga · 21/11/2013 22:13

dont Smile go girl

twodays just remember to keep track of all the conversations Grin

girliefriend · 21/11/2013 22:13

Grin at Twodays.

This is what happens when you get desperate break all your own internet dating rules!!

I don't even have that many, mine are;

  1. They must have a face that doesn't scare me and look normal.
  1. They must be able to spell and no text speak.
  1. They must not be shorter than me.
  1. They must make a bit of an effort and ask me out.

With small feet chap I broke rules 2,3 and 4 Grin if he has a small willy I have no one to blame but myself.

dontcallmehon · 21/11/2013 22:17

girlie that made me chuckle!

geeky met all of those rules apart from 4. Mentionitis again...

melanie58 · 22/11/2013 00:05

Girlie, if he broke rule 2 he doesn't deserve you investigating his measurements.

Really though, what nonsense that theory must be. Surely a similar theory would then apply to women, so foot-size indicates bra size? I'm pretty sure that doesn't work. What do you think (men on thread too)?

TwoDays · 22/11/2013 00:17

Thread - what is our view on OD guys who state they are separated?

I always ask them to define what 'separated' means for them and the usual answer is that they haven't seen their DW for 1/5/10 years. So why are they still married? Confused Should they be avoided or not?

ordinarybloke · 22/11/2013 06:38

And when you are talking willy size do you mean flacid or erect? I see one bloke naked pretty often-he has 9 and half shoe size and is average size elsewhere. I remember having a MFM threesome where the other guy was the size of my little finger when he was erect-I did feel sorry for him.

What is happening with me?One woman who I was messaging with broke the correspondence off as there was no spark.Correspoding with another woman,but due to our diaries we cannot meet up for another 4 weeks. Also starting messaging with 2 other woman-one is russian who says she is local but I am not sure of that.And the 2nd woman does have a lot in common with me. This weekend I have my DS so no dating for me.

Jarlin · 22/11/2013 10:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 22/11/2013 11:17

Ime the foot size thing has been accurate as far as the massive feet have had massive knobs. Average not so much correlation.

OP posts:
ladygoingGaga · 22/11/2013 11:26

fuck fuck fuck

Just had an email from supermarket man.
We were due to go away in December for a weekend, ive booked hotel etc he has just messaged me cancelling it, saying he has promised his ex he wont go away for the time being to help calm her down.

I replied saying I need some time to think..
im right in thing big fucking red flag aren't I Sad

what a shit week

HelloBoys · 22/11/2013 12:14

OMG. Had an amazing week so far.... met guy off Doing Something last Friday in Costa and then went to South Bank bar, thought hey he's nice etc... was hour at most which was nice.

arranged to meet Tuesday - bar again but nice one - had snogs and felt GREAT. then he suggested meeting up (he lives by seaside works London) on Thursday and maybe hotel (wasn't keen on him coming back to mine). so we did hotel last night. OMG amazing. just amazing.

and he seems really into me, wants to see me again. part of me thinks if he does see me great then other part thinks if he/I get 2nd thoughts just chalk up to experience. but we both feel it's very right. scary as I usually use caution here.

any words of advice? he has 13 year old son, not with son's mother says open to having kids etc.

hope everyone else's meetings/messages etc are going well. I am just sat at work/home for past week with huge Grin on my face.

Bant · 22/11/2013 12:14

Gaga - yes, he's the mayor of redflagville. You can't date a bloke who will put his exes wishes over yours, or his own.

There is no correlation between foot size and penis size. There is a relationship between the ratio of index finger to ring finger length: the closer in length between the two fingers, the larger the penis. Doesn't matter whether the fingers themselves are short or long, it's the ratio that matters. Apparently.

I was dating whilst separated, it took 18 months from splitting to getting the decree absolute. I can see how it would take longer, 2, maybe 3 years, but 5 is silly unless there are really good reasons.

Girlie - some men are dyslexic, and you wouldn't know if someone liked text speak if you were bowled over by them after meeting in real life, it's more the content than the delivery I think - for me anyway. I hate LOLs but I'll try and overlook them if the message itself was witty and erudite.

HelloBoys · 22/11/2013 12:16

Jarlin - re 1st date wears. wear something you feel good in and flattering.

no overt flesh. my 1st date outfit recently was knitted Oasis tube skirt opaque tights and ankle boots, can't remember top or jumper offhand but ensured it was flattering/pretty. maybe it was &OtherStories jumper which shows flesh at top (NO CLEAVAGE!) but is sort of semi fitted. next date ramped it up and think wore dress but again no overly flesh showing or just peeks.

HelloBoys · 22/11/2013 12:17

Jarlin also yes coffee first and if it is evening if they DO suggest bar afterwards one drink only.

also I would NOT kiss first date - peck on cheek let them initiate it but snogs leave to 2nd date etc if that.

HelloBoys · 22/11/2013 12:22

Two Days - be VERY careful re separated where you meet them etc. (I met mine in a pub) and I would personally not believe they were separated etc UNLESS you know them or see IDK divorce papers etc. why would you see that though?!

met nice guy few years back he SAID he was separated (no ring) lived in country (I was in London) he told me stuff re his wife and kids but mostly he didn't want to get divorced as he was rich and she'd get a lot and he didn't want that.

we ended up dating - I believed him - one night for fun went to local hotel rather than my place - he paid in cash only - no card. warning signs he used cash for everything no card. he said this was for Tax reasons.

then got message saying he'd got back with ex wife on Valentines Day they were giving it another go.

I believe (and so does friend) he was with wife all along but having affair with me (hence cash only no cards). he would then periodically call me for booty calls etc.

so I'd avoid like plague but just me.

Bant · 22/11/2013 12:29

I think with separated men, if they have a place of their own they're more likely to be being honest. They could have a pad in the city for work or something and their wife could think he's just there for work (if they're in a different town) but unless they're on a very good salary it's unlikely they could afford a family home and a second place just for flings

HelloBoys · 22/11/2013 12:38

Bunt - my separated man didn't have a place of his own - well he SAID he did but he lived a bit of a drive away and never seemed keen to go down there with me.

so red flag for me.

JustALittleGreen · 22/11/2013 14:02

Erk gaga, red flagsville IMO, too :( even if he's not still with her or hoping to be, he's a bit wet if he's under her control, isn't he! Why would he need to even tell his ex he was going somewhere?

girliefriend · 22/11/2013 14:03

Dontcallmehon as you are up to date 5 do you mind me asking what you have done for your dates? And also have you started snogging/ shagging yet?!! You are under no obligation to answer that Grin

I have only got to date 2 but looking likely that we will get to date 3....

Was in town earlier and couldn't help looking at blokes feet - I think I am starting to obsess Grin

Small feet chap is going away this weekend for a lads weekend and text today to apologise in advance for any drunk texts he might send Hmm

Also I am going out on Saturday night as I have met up for 2 dates with this chap at what point does it start being considered rude to snog other people?! Its unlikely but possible if I get pissed enough as I don't get out that often!