The dating thread 65

[Queenofthedrivensnow]

dont I would be feeling the same as you, but listen to everyone's advice and play it cool and don't text. I am sure from what you have said he will be in touch

super sorry to hear detective was such a twat, you are absolutely right, you deserve better, it shouldn't be an effort, it should be mutually exciting to see each other. Maybe give yourself a break for a few weeks, but no harm in window shopping

folkgirl
It's hard to be reflective, and friends who are honest with us are great, maybe have a few drinks next time, works for me!

So I'm being picked up in the morning for a night away with supermarket guy.. First night together, I've bought a bottle of fizz to smuggle into our room. Very excited, feel very grown up

Hi all.. I've been lurking but haven't had much to contribute so just stayed schtum!

Super I'm sorry to hear that but it would have been such a head wreck for you going forward.. Never being able to make proper plans etc.

Dontcallme.... This is the exact way I was feeling a while back with pof guy..it's so fucking unsettling isn't it?

I know this sounds awful but I decided I was spending a ridiculous amount of time stressing about lack of texts and general contact so got back on touch with a couple of guys I'd met on pof..

I explained I was seeing someone but was just dropping by for a chat... They didn't seem to mind and you know what? It took my mind off my phone for a bit...was a nice distraction... I know you say he's not online and that's great but did you both agree to exclusivity yet? It might be a tad early to put all your eggs in one basket.

Wondered where u'd gone Poffed

Oooh have a nice time Gaga

I lost the thread!!!

Well he did say he wasn't seeing anyone and wasn't planning to and he knows I'm not. I've switched my phone to airplane mode till at least 3pm tomorrow, so I'lll not know if he texts or not.

Have some gin, dont, that's what I'm doing!

Am guessing u still not heard anything Dontcall?

I wish I had gin in the house, oneday. If the kids weren't here I'd run out and get some right now! So glad my phones on airplane mode, so it removes a little of that 'will he won't he.' Otherwise I would have definitely texted him. I keep thinking of how gorgeous his smile is

I wouldn't know hormonal, as my phone is on airplane mode and I'm not turning it on till tomorrow afternoon. If he hasn't texted by then I'll be

He told me yesterday that he didn't get much work done on the day of our date, as he was too excited.

Oh that made me go ''aww'' out loud dont!!

He is probably just very sensibly taking a little time just to take stock. It sounds like things have been going very well and you wouldn't want to rush things I guess.

Like I say men stretch like an elastic and then bounce back or so it says in my Men are from Mars book

Chapter 6 Men Are Like Rubber Bands
Men are like rubber bands. When they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back. A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle. This cycle involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again.
Most women are surprised to realize that even a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away. It is not a decision or choice. It just happens. It is neither his fault nor her fault. It is a natural cycle.
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When a man loves a woman,periodically he needs
to pull away before he can get closer.
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Women misinterpret a man's pulling away because generally a woman pulls away for different reasons. She pulls back when she doesn't trust him to understand her feelings, when she has been hurt and is afraid of being hurt again, or when he has done something wrong and disappointed her.
Certainly a man may pull away for the same reasons, but he will also pull away even if she has done nothing wrong. He may love and trust her, and then suddenly he begins to pull away. Like a stretched rubber band, he will distance himself and then come back all on his own.
A man pulls away to fulfill his need for independence or autonomy. When he has fully stretched away, then instantly he will come springing back. When he has fully separated, then suddenly he will feel his need for love and intimacy again. Automatically he will be more motivated to give his love and receive the love he needs. When a man spring back, he picks up the relationship at whatever degree of intimacy it was when he stretched away. He doesn't feel any need for a period of getting reacquainted again.

Thanks for the support - it's really helping me to stay sane! If I switched my phone to normal mode and he hadn't texted, I honestly wouldn't be able to sleep. But I think he is taking stock and I think I'd drive him away by being too clingy. He knows very well that I like him - so I'll give him space.

He still hasn't been on POF. The one time I thought he'd been on last week was because he was trying to find a message that I said my friend had sent him once and he couldn't remember. So I'll breathe and relax.

Thanks hormonal, I'm feeling better now. That makes a lot of sense.

Folkgirl funny you should say that about the vibes. I'm sure I used to give off negative vibes during a particularly unhappy phase a couple of years ago - no one talked to me, acknowledged or seemed to even see me.

But when I decided that in fact I was god's gift to all mankind gorgeous and started wearing make up and brighter clothes and a smile, people's attitudes changed. It was really obvious - people in shops would start conversations with me, acquaintances suddenly seemed interested in what I was up to.

dont i do understand but wouldn't you feel better if you did know if he has text we can help you stay strong and not reply/text, whenever you feel the urge just post on here

hormonal I'm liking the comparison. I learnt so much from my last relationship, I would beat myself up when he pulled away and was left utterly confused when he was right as rain the next day.
It's exhausting and you know what, I've utterly changed my mind set now, I spent 18 months on my own, realising I deserve more, my mantra is 'there are men out there who don't do that'

I agree with OnceAgain, it's that old cliche of loving yourself first/being happy with yourself....but it's true. Then you naturally give off attractive vibes, methinks. Certainly I notice more people, well more men, looking in the street etc when I feel like I've made an effort or am in a nice chilled happy mood, even if it's fairly normal clothes in the daytime etc.

I have spent my evening dancing around my flat cleaning in my tracksuit singing badly and then sat and watched catchup of the latest episodes of my fave tv progs drinking gin with a face mask on

Evening All. Don't it sounds like things are going well. Fair play to you for having the will power to not check your phone.

It's hard to figure out what guys are thinking. Hormonal thanks for posting the elastic band theory.

Folk you were saying that your self esteem is improving. It's giving you an air of confidence and guy in supermarket picked it up. It's a great boost when a random stranger gives you a smile.

I'm reading he's not that into you at the moment. Twat radar being finely tuned.

ladygoinggaga I would feel better if I knew he texted me - but if he hasn't I will be too sad to sleep. At least this way I don't know and I can get to sleep tonight. The longer I leave it, the more likely it is that he'll have texted me.

Hormonal... That's really interesting, thanks. I wonder does it refer to the beginning of relationships specifically, a once off thing, or is it a pattern that's repeated?
I read that book years ago but I've forgotten it all.. must root it out again!

Yay for broken! Tell us more

Dontcallme...very good move re the phone... I wish I'd thought of that myself a couple of weeks ago!

Yes broken. Tell us more. Delighted to hear you had a good date