The dating thread 65

[Queenofthedrivensnow]

Yes I'm same as you Onceagain, I never seem to fancy them and they all are potentially great guys but I'm just looking for phwoarrh factor but it never happens

I'm throwing my hat in the ring with Hormonal and Onceagain. No woo or socks being blown off here.

Dontcall sounds like things are going great. Delighted to hear it.

So Hormonal and powpow, what do we do about it? The problem is clearly not with us as we're fuckin' gorgeous so why aren't we getting to date the phwoarrh types?

Who knows Onceagain. Being honest in my location and within my search parameters there are three guys with the phwoarrh factor! My search parameters are not insane or anything. 33 to 45 yrs within 35 miles and wants a relationship. Not sure where all the eligible men that age are gone. Those three guys are too hot to even email! I'm thick skinned but think I'd only be wasting my time messaging them.

Yes same with me, I don't message the fit ones cos they would prob be after one thing anyway! I don't get many if any fit ones messaging me first

Once, Hormonal and Powpow, do you fancy the men from their photos but are disappointed when you meet them in the flesh? Or are they visually OK but just don't float your boat?

Maybe I've been lucky because out of the 5 men I've met I've wanted to shag 2 of them within the first 30 minutes of the date! One I saw 4 times (god I miss his handsome face, great body and outrageous stamina...damn him, he raised the bar really high!) and the other I have a 2nd date with on Saturday. I am very fussy though and reject any whose faces I wouldn't want to look at during sex, and whose bodies aren't toned; I'm extremely visually stimulated during sex and I bloody well want the phroarr factor for once. If there's mutual attraction we chat, if they can string a sentence together well enough to try a date we meet, and if we can have a laugh it's all systems go. I have to say though that there are very few men I actually fancy so maybe I've had my quota now

Those three guys are too hot to even email! I'm thick skinned but think I'd only be wasting my time messaging them.
But Powpow, if you message them not expecting a reply, if they do like you it's a bonus isn't it. Otherwise you've lost nothing as the outcome was as you expected. In other words you have nothing to lose (if your self esteem can handle it though I suppose).

Yes same with me, I don't message the fit ones cos they would prob be after one thing anyway!
Hormonal, there's a thread running at the mo about being put off by attractive men, and it seems the handsome ones are no more likely to be players/cheaters than the fuglies. It's a minefield anyway, so why not take a chance with someone tasty is my motto. I've found that there are guys who lie to get into our knickers, will say they're after a relationship when they are actually after something non-committal, so all we can do is be cautious regardless.

It's a bloody minefield. Definitely need to have your wits about you. The good lookers are very new to pof so I might leave it a week or two to let the rush on their inbox calm down.

Have only had the lets get naked ASAP feeling with one guy. Was seeing him for a little bit but didn't work out. Other guys I have dated have been mostly nice but if I don't have the lets go in our nudies feeling I can't see it going anywhere.

Have one guy in the pipeline for this week. Just waiting on him to sort a suitable day for meeting.

Livid I've not seen that thread, will have a nosy

The guys I meet and think 'he's ok' never 'god he's gorgeous' just don't message guys like that n they don't message me either really unless they after sex

Advice needed please and thanks. I'm chatting to a guy who is 16yrs older than me. Looks great for his age and seems nice. I bit the bullet and asked him for a date. He said yes. Although in his response he said 'I'm still a bit emotionally not over the last relationship.' So, should I run a mile or go out once with him?

powpow I nearly spat my wine out then, still not emotionally over the last relationship Seriously wtf. Why would he be looking to go on dates. I would run a bloody mile, he wants someone to make him feel better.
Only one thing will happen, that's you getting hurt.

It's a funny thing about messaging the really attractive blokes, I'm the same I see gorgeous fit blokes, and just think they are out of my league, or they will be utter shaggers. So I don't bother.
Sounds strange but I don't want to see a bloke who has woman drooling over him all the time.
Yes I want someone I find attractive, but it's more about them then their looks/body.

Lol at the wine spitting. Bit of an odd response all right. I'll give him one thing at least he is honest.

I was the uglier half of a couple for 7 years. Got used to women looking at me thinking what the hell is he doing with her. We were out one night just the two of us and clearly together. A girl came over with a rose for him and tried to chat him up while I was sitting there. Amusing to say the least.

Yep you can give him the honesty badge

Perhaps chat to him some more, find out a little more and go with your gut feeling.

I'm not sure I could go out with drop dead gorgeous bloke, says a lot about my insecurities I think, oh well!

The ex was the least shallow and one of the nicest guys I ever met. Way more to him than his looks. People used to think he would be a cocky arrogant twat. Nothing further from the truth. Can't judge a book by its cover.

That's nice to know, I suppose its self preservation though. I want to limit the chances they will bugger off with someone else.
My boss is a great example, 6ft 4 bloody Adonis, seriously every female literally swoons at his mere presence. Not sure I could be the wife/partner of him although I regularly dream about him

I've had a very up and down weekend.

Lovely Saturday lunch non-date with guy I met on OD site but have just become friends with instead.

Not great date with lovely, charming Wednesday Lunch man from last week who made some rather explicit declarations of things he'd like to do to me in an attempt to persuade me to take him home with me after I'd said no. He then accused me of being "very stubborn". Um, no.

And a lovely date with Italian Man yesterday. In many ways it was just perfect. Lots of lovely emails last night when he told me he hadn't felt the way he had done with me for a long time, and lots of other stuff including saying that he was going to cancel the other date he had planned next week.

Today he emailed and said he wasn't going to cancel the other date after all. It's not until next Saturday which means a whole week of flirty emails/texts with her too and not like it's tomorrow and he just didn't want to let someone down at the last minute.

So I told him I'd had a lovely time yesterday but that I wanted someone who thought I was special enough to not want to date other women too.

I know I've done the right thing, but I'm sitting in here crying now (probably not helped by the fact I've drunk a bottle of Magners too!) because I liked him. We had so much in common and it made sense when he said he liked me because we clearly ticked a lot of each other's boxes. And I really wanted to believe that someone liked me too.

Just feeling very, very sad now

Your boss sounds like my cup of tea. I love a tall man. Zero to swoon at in my work unfortunately.

Just to clarify - it was a first date with Italian Man. I wouldn't normally expect someone to cancel other dates after just one date. I certainly wouldn't! But I think that if you've made a big deal of telling someone just how special you think they already are etc and that you're going to cancel your other date, then when you don't, you're clearly stringing someone along.

And I'm not prepared for it to be me.

Sorry to hear about the Italian folk. That is crap. He should have kept his love bombing to himself. Way too much for a first date. if some guy was like that with me it would turn me right off. sometimes the keener they are the less keen i am. You are right to cut him loose. You deserve to have what you want. You've had your cry, dust yourself off and head for greener pastures.

Thanks powpow. I needed to hear that because I'd just started to wonder if I hadn't just sabotaged something because I have such low self esteem, but actually, it's a sign my self esteem is improving that I cut him loose so quickly.

Yes, you're right, he was just love bombing and clearly feeding his own ego in the process.

Oh well. On the plus side, it was only one date.

Time for a second bottle of Magners, I feel...

I've 'blacklisted' him anyway. So he can't contact me again.

Feel even more sad now

The sadness will pass. Great to hear that the self esteem is coming back.

Feel much better already.

I'm not even sad about that man really. It's a shame, it's just that he was date number 10 and I'm starting to get weary of the whole making the first contact, emails, arranging to meet, looking forward to it, not fancying them/them not fancying me/realising they're an arse thing.

It started off boosting my confidence to realise that I was still attractive to someone, but now OD is running the risk of making me not trust any man ever again!

On the plus side, my red flag radar is becoming very well honed!

I've no idea how these people who go on 20+ first dates do it!

Folkgirl I know exactly how you feel! I have had a couple of dates where I've felt total happiness (on my part) and presumed they felt the same by their words, gestures etc only to fun they change their mind ! It's soul destroying and you just want to sack the whole thing but yes as others have said just dust yourself down and think it's their loss!

I've had about 30+ dates now and still plodding on....

Powpow can't believe he said that, in my experience the older they are the more 'burned' they appear to be. I wouldn't go there

Gaga I fancied a guy at work, wasn't drop dead gorgeous but to me he was God! Wish I could find him on Pof