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Original poster

The dating thread 65

999 replies

Queenofthedrivensnow · 03/11/2013 22:09

Grin
OP posts:
powpow80 · 10/11/2013 11:30

I genuinely think the majority of guys on dating sites have no balls. Think silence is the easier option. To me I think it is so rude and bad mannered. Someone once said to me that if they don't send the I don't like you text that it leaves it open for them to get back in touch down the line.

Pity to hear about the no fancy for stupid and hormonal. Nothing worse than meeting a guy who you know would be great but not fancying him. You'd nearly be trying to force yourself.

An in the midst of lining up a date for next week. Guy is a bit older than me, seems lovely from messages and looks quite manly in his pics. No expectations but hope it will go well.

RollerCola · 10/11/2013 12:26

Just a thought Concentrated but could he be struggling with the family bereavement? Grief makes people do unusual things doesn't it?

Or he might just be an idiot...

Concentrateonthegood · 10/11/2013 12:48

Rolla, I wondered that too. It was the comment about him being unfaithful to his ex and the guilt he felt over her that seemed to start it all off. He is very deep, analyses everything to death and has says he retreats into himself at times. In the early days, I did ask him about his ex and whether she had accepted the relationship was over. He assured me it was for him but I had a doubt over whether she was in the same place and indeed whether he had been honest with her about that (or honest with me about that!)

But, 3 bloody months of being in each other's lives to abruptly end. He text me last week saying did I fancy a chat. I text him back saying that I was at dinner and would contact him when I got back to my room (away with work) and then he didn't respond. I think that was probably going to be the "end" discussion and he chickened out. Shitty and it took me so long to get my confidence up to a level and even more faith to think in terms of an us rather than we walking this earth on my own which I have done for many, many years. :-(

RollerCola · 10/11/2013 13:01

Oh no, that sounds v sad Hmm Please don't assume it's what you think though, he might have all sorts going on in his head (especially if he's an 'over-analyser?')

Have you considered texting him again? Did you not contact him again after your dinner last week? Perhaps he thinks you've gone cold rather than the other way round? I'd honestly send him a quick text. Maybe something just along the 'are you ok' lines? If he doesn't reply to that then maybe it'll be time to accept it's not going anywhere. But if he's in a bad way perhaps it'll open up communication lines again? (That's if you still want to)

Putitonthelist · 10/11/2013 14:37

Concentrate it sounds like he isn't ready for a relationship on any level. Maybe the weekend away made him feel that things were getting a bit more serious than he intended so he's backed off, who knows? There are many posts about men on MN who just go cold after months of non-stop contact for no apparent reason. That's no help to you I know. His recent behaivour has been shitty and that probably tells you all you need to know about him. Flowers

Stupidhead · 10/11/2013 15:41

Hiya ladies, just in from work, two texts from rock dj asking about second date..haven't replied yet. I couldn't even grow to fancy him, there wasn't anything about him lookswise I found attractive :-/

So how do I reply?

I woke up in a bad mood to a message from a new bloke who is quite cute (young oliver reed). So I replied I have 3 kids blah blah blah' to get it out there...meeting him this week!

But. Back to replying to dj? Help!

LividofLondon · 10/11/2013 16:30

Stupidhead, how about something like "I had a nice time but I'm afraid you aren't for me, sorry"? I'm no good at this sort of thing though.

ladygoingGaga · 10/11/2013 16:50

stupidhead yep definitely something like, had a lovely evening, you are genuine bloke but just not for me or there was no spark... Wish him luck, that's it.

concentrate they are ignorant shits, silence is not fucking golden, grow a pair and be honest!! Rant over Grin

MemphisMinnie · 10/11/2013 17:15

I'm on POF with less than no luck so far. I'm seriously thinking of deleting my account because no men my age seem interested other than those who I wouldn't, I just wouldn't…..

The admittedly tiny straw which has broken the proverbial is train man who got all excited about asking me on a lunch date. Fine I said Sunday (today) is the only time I can do. No, he can't do it, working in London all weekend (a 24/7 role in public transport). So we settle on Weds eve for early drink. I go online to pick up a message and he's online. I go back later, he's still online. A third time an guess what? Yep, he's online. I don't give a monkeys about him being online frankly. I just think he's lied. Already.

Anyone? Cancel and come off POF? Thing is they say if you delete your account you can't come back!!

MemphisMinnie · 10/11/2013 17:16

Oh that didn't make sense. I mean today, I go online when he is 'working'. That's what I mean about lying.

Stupidhead · 10/11/2013 17:45

He could be genuine though! Date last night was almost always online at work! I'd take his word for now but if you keep getting crap then block.

Stupidhead · 10/11/2013 17:46

Oh and I was on pof a few years ago, I rejoined no problem, just set up a new email address if needed :)

SweetSeraphim · 10/11/2013 18:09

Re PoF though - as far as I recall, if you don't log out, you show constantly as online.....

Putitonthelist · 10/11/2013 18:52

Had a text from the guy I met on Friday night. Asked if I'd like to meet up for a drink. Told him I would and when I'm free. Will see how it goes (and how often he mentions his ex again).

stupid did you send a text yet?

MemphisMinnie · 10/11/2013 19:04

Well I deleted my profile anyway. I need a break, it was beginning to feel more like a chore than a pleasure Grin. Shall veg on the sofa til the Spring I think.

Concentrateonthegood · 10/11/2013 19:29

Roller, I did text him when I got back to my room and heard nothing. I'm not going to contact him. Regardless of what has been going on in my life, I would never ignore someone.

dashoflime78 · 10/11/2013 20:11

Well I've finally had a response, oddly not by text but email. I now feel we're in the silly territory of him playing it too cool, leaving it 48 hours before contact and not replying to my thank you text until late today. I cant decide whether or not to respond (having felt a little rejected all weekend). So bloody silly, I didn't even fancy him. I suppose with it being my first date in years, I wanted my self esteem boosted with some male interest!

Memphis - I'm with you, may delete my match account and hibernate for the winter.

ladygoingGaga · 10/11/2013 22:42

Ladies, you have to toughen up a bit Grin don't take it personally, not every bloke you meet will be mr right. It's a numbers game, go out, have fun, get a thick skin. If it's not fun and you are going to get hurt chances are you're not ready to start OD, it's brutal Smile

It was 18 months before I realised I was ready to date, spent that time finding me Grin

Stupidhead · 10/11/2013 22:59

Gah!!! Had to drop some shit off at my exes flat and it wasn't nice, he dumped me btw.. Made my text easier as he knew i had to go there today. Told him I was still hung up on 'him' and I'd like to stay friends.. Which is true. Still feel like a big fat chicken shit :(

Hormonalhell · 11/11/2013 06:47

Oh no Stupid, that's stupid Grin did you actually tell him that?

I think I must be very thick skinned as I've had so many let downs n rejections over the past year but I just dust myself off with the motto 'plenty more where he came from' and it seems to work for me Grin

ordinarybloke · 11/11/2013 07:11

A couple of posters have been wondering if they should continue to see someone if there is no spark. My opinion is that there is a difference between potential for something to develop and that the battery will always remain flat.

After my positive post 2nd date text to Black Pepper Woman,she replied to my two non date related questions,but nothing about my comment that I would like to see her again.So no further reply from me.it has to be a 2 way street for me.

Cheese Woman replied saying that she has realised that with her cuurent workload (she is a freelancer) and the care for her DCs she does not have the time to get to know a potential partner. At least no second guessing with her.

I am still messaging 2 other women,so I stil have options.

Stupidhead · 11/11/2013 07:21

Yeah I did hormonal! He was pushing for a 2nd date and I was the first date he'd considered in five years, he seems really shy so I didn't want to think it was him!

Hormonalhell · 11/11/2013 10:15

Ah well it's a good excuse to use Stupidhead.

Yes Ordinary, I've been on dates where I know I wouldn't see them again but with Donny was just unsure and told him so and he's convinced me to see him again and just see how it goes. I liked him I just wasn't woo about himHmm

dontcallmehon · 11/11/2013 13:00

Penis picture guy texted me on Saturday - luckily no pics. I ignored him. He surfaces every now and then. I last dated him in August and it ended when I realised he was just after sex and got the pervy pictures! Funny how men who say they are not after sex, like geeky guy, are much more likely to get it. Men really should cotton on to this little fact.

Date with geeky guy tomorrow. We are going to the cinema. We're watching the film in 3d - he told me not to laugh at him with two pairs of glasses on!

OnceAgainForLuck · 11/11/2013 13:14

I'm feeling rather meh about OD - I'm older than most of you, I guess, (50s), and have been on POF and Match for a few months. I don't have anything particularly negative to say about the sites as I don't reply to the potential fuckwits (Hiya sexy babe etc), so the guys I've messaged/met have all been decent, nice, professional men.

But I've not been attracted to any of them. I'm not after perfection or a certain type - just someone I'd be prepared to shag fanciable and intelligent. Have met 7 men so far - all wanted to see me again, but I didn't want to see them - good for the self esteem I suppose, but not really getting me anywhere.

I've got the ladygaga attitude and thick skin, but its still meh.