The Dating Thread 64

[unBant]

Here we go again...

Say you're 39 HelloBoys, generally that tends to be the way.

The demographics of dating websites show a ridiculous drop-off of 30 year olds, 40 year olds etc, and a statistically disproportionate number of 29 & 39 year olds.

It seems to be par for the course that people shave a couple of years off their age. I'm 39 personally (honestly) but people seem to assume I'm fibbing about it.

The confidence issues - well you'd need to go into more detail.

You're allowed to go for the good lookers, but there is a link with vanity/entitlement there. You've got to fancy them though

Helloboys I'm 41 and it says so on my profile, i don't lie cos I'll be found out in end so no point. I look younger and get messages from anyone between 30 and 50. Some men like older women

Helloboys, I'm mid 40s, have been honest about my age, yet have been contacted by men aged between 20 and 60! I got so tired of being contacted by men who weren't my type that I hide my profile (I'm on POF) and am now in the driving seat. If I'm feeling confident I message them, but if I think I'm punching above my weight or not sure I'm their type I just add them to my favourites and let them contact me. Mainly though I have a "nothing ventured, nothing gained" attitude to online dating so am not too bothered if they don't get back to me or say they aren't interested. It's a numbers game, so I'm putting myself out there

Personally I'd be a little po'd if I met someone, started dating them and then found out they had lied about their age... Maybe it's ok to knock a few years off on the profile to initiate contact but they'd want to be telling me fairly early on in the chatting stage that they'd been economical with the truth..

Have you tried any other sites Helloboys?

You do see some guys who have knocked 10 years off their age or are just ageing badly. Lies I tell you.

I'm 33 and get messages from early 20s up to late 40s. Don't mind the older guys so much but giggle at the young fellas. They all seem to be into older women and think we can teach them a thing or two

Livid - i don't know what to make of it really but I'd say the friend zone is nearing. I think I want him to take the initiative.

Early sex doesn't make you a slut I used to be like that. Post dc my body confidence is crap plus I'm a bit anxious about having another relationship full stop so initially I don't mind the pace. That said with a dating thing earlier this year I questioned whether they bloke even found me attractive and I don't want to be there again.

Meanwhile.... I went to gap yah house for a bit. This will sound c judgey but I didn't like it - decor and clutter and very different to the way I live. It's not a deal breaker but I was kind of dissaointed what do you make of that?

ham I've walked into a dates house and it's put me off completely, I promise I'm not shallow but his flat was like a students flat and it just stayed in my mind, I couldn't see us going any further plus he was shit in bed
I'm another one for a polite kiss on the first date, but it want to know if there is any chemistry and a proper snog tells you that
I'm usually in the sack with them after 3/4 weeks, you have to know if you are comparable in that department

I've not been on a dating site but I agree, don't lie about your age. If it was me, I would be wondering what else you were fibbing about. Course you could get on so well that it all came out and I couldn't care less but to be avoided IMO

Yes I am too Gaga, usually date 3 or sometimes even date 2. I have quite a high sex drive and I'm incredibly impatient to experience their body if I like them

I do wait till at least date 5...I am all for building up the anticipation - good things come to those who wait etc

It wasn't a planned visit and he was huffing and puffing a bit about not having tidied up so maybe I need to be a bit forgiving . It wasn't dirty either just not to my taste I guess . On the plus side I don't feel self conscious about inviting him to my house yet.
I think my plan is to invite him here at the weekend thought I am a bit antsy about it - he could still be a lunatic ! If we sit here and drink a bottle of wine and still no kiss that's that

Ham-how old is this guy?! He could just be shy and lacking confidence you know!

42

Yep, he should have learned by now in that case! So a student flat-don't tell me unwashed sheets, plates from a week ago etc?! He is obviously living the bachelor lifestyle...

Meanwhile he has hidden his pof profile. Which I take as a good sign.

I once dated a teacher with an unbelievably gross house. He was tall and hot (pe teacher) and the sex was good but the house stopped me getting much involved with him plus the fact he was so unapologetic about it. Book

That is a good sign...So what do you expect from a man's house? Are you thinking quality of decor or overall tidiness? Or both? I can understand that they should not live in a tip but surely a bit if bad painting shouldn't get in the way of a night of great sex??!

I don't think I had a criteria or anything it was just we went in and I was a bit hmmm. I sound like an arse abiout it I know.

Not at all-I do think a home says a lot about a person so I am with you. If they know you are coming, surely it is just good manners to ensure things are at least in order?!

Hi thanks for everyone who replied.

No way would I lie about my age as like Man said - I'd worry what else they'd lie about! It's stupid. I don't see the need to lie anyway.

Am on MatchAffinity. Met my last boyfriend there. LOL.

Have done Lovestruck (too many men going on about their world travels, amazing job and basically wanking over themselves stroking their own egos!). In fact one tosser I did meet was from Lovestruck. Did sign up for EHarmony but didn't find anyone I liked.

A 49 year old Danish man is interested in me - has 2 kids, looks younger. I messaged him.

I figure sometimes if they don't message me then why shouldn't I message them?

off to Bonfire Night Fireworks Display in Chislehurst tomorrow may be some men there?!

oh, an aside - dates I have had in past 2 years where I didn't like them or did like them.

deputy head teacher lived near me (too near) - we went for dinner etc on a few dates but no spark. I did sleep with him (why?!) but I knew after the sex that he just wasn't for me. he was of course the one who chased me and wanted more.... months down the line.

Bar manager at hotel in London - great guy, not my type lookswise but ok. Had coffee date, but not much click. he was Italian/French (not that that makes a difference but sort of exotic, no?!) but kept going on about me liking cocktails and vodka and me dancing on the table which I never said I did!

Some sort of IT manager person - lots of pics of festivals - we met went to David Shrigley art exhibition where there was a real dead rat as an exhibit... then for Turkish meal. he was ok but just not me.

Mike - sound engineer/dj - really nice guy, should've given more of a chance. he put me off by ex-GF talk.

and ex-BF - sexy as hell - ended up snogging after 2 hours in a bar and then stayed out late with him. ended up seeing him for 1.5 years approx but he travelled a lot overseas for work so didn't see him THAT much and he couldn't talk to me. AMAZING CHEMISTRY. damn.

HR manager - good looking - didn't see a lot but dated for a few months - nice guy but tiny penis - which I am sorry to say put me off. HATE ME FOR THAT NOW PLEASE!

above just gives you an idea of what I like/don't like.

He didn't know I was coming. No crime committed just me being weird about things. I still like him/am keen. I think date 3 is tomorrow but awaiting confirmation. Tbh I am a tiny bit squirmy about it/whether there will be a date 3

Arf at lovestruck I have seen many a profile like that....I guess it's a method of self preservation - I can take the knock back because I'm awesome

*drums fingers waiting for text reply.....

Ham-awaiting confirmation? If you don't hear soon I would chase him...

HelloBoys-an interesting collection! Especially the HR Manager-that made me chuckle. Poor guy!

Had the text reply sat is on and back to usual contact so I will try not to overthink it.
No word from crush man for a week now. Feel a bit meh about it but I'm not really comfortable with multi dating anyway .

I was reading the posts about women being put off about the state of some mens' homes and being glad that my two dates this weekend are in the home towns of the women. And then tonight's date,Black Pepper Woman, sends me a sms saying that she is working in my home town this afternoon and therefore we shoild meet here instead. Oops!