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Original poster

The Dating Thread 64

1001 replies

unBant · 05/10/2013 15:11

Here we go again...

OP posts:
Stupidhead · 30/10/2013 16:52

Poffed, maybe the relationship update was added for your benefit? It would be worse if he'd changed it to 'shags only'! And the guy who's helped me through my BU was a friend I made through pof years ago, never any romance between us or ever will be.

And thanks for the time frames, I know I'm too early and was chatting to guys thinking 'bit your not my ex' but this one makes me laugh! A lot :-/
I might just dip my toe...!

Hormonalhell · 30/10/2013 18:11

Poffed I too hope everything is ok and u get it sorted. That's the one problem with online dating - the place you bloody met!Confused

Stupid yeah dip your toe in, it might feel tingly but then again it might feel cold but u don't know til you try.

Dontcallme yes it is hard but the men do worry too. I've had the guy I'm meeting Friday questioning why I'm on pof a lot but sometimes I do forget to log out n I only been on for literally five minutes.

I do like him but I think I prefer Pudsey (where he lives and sounds cute like Pudsey bear is) I'm meeting him Saturday for coffee n I'm worried I'll be hung over as Friday guy hoping for a good drinking sesh with me Shock

Poffedoff · 30/10/2013 18:15

Aww thank you Oneday, nice to know I'm not the only one trying desperately to come up with a valid reason for all this... incredibly it looks like this new update was done over the weekend, maybe even last night Sad... I still haven't worked up the nerve to text him but I know he's the only one who can give me the answer...

Stupidhead, yes in a way it's better but in a way it's a lot worse that he's not looking for casual sex or whatever ... I'm becoming more and more angry as the day goes on... Soooo much to do here, 3 kids to get ready for Halloween tomorrow among other things and I've spent the entire day obsessing about this... He's just texted again with some bright and breezy bullshit, I never got back to him this morning so he's probably wondering what's going on at this stage (we usually text quite a bit during the day)...

I suppose I'd better get on with it... Thanks so much to you all though, it is incredibly helpful to have all your optimistic words of encouragement... Have a feeling this is a dead duck though x

Hamwidgeandcheps · 30/10/2013 18:33

Hi all. Date two with gap yah in a bit. Lots of text banter in between so looking good so far.

Poffed - hope you are ok remember you are the prize Grin

Poffedoff · 30/10/2013 18:49

Thanks ham and hormonal... Yes I've just been re reading the rules... I texted him there just now to ask if he was still working or not... I'd prefer he was free to text so I'm not left hanging in limbo waiting for his answer when I do finally get up the nerve to confront him!

Good luck with the date tonight ham... Can't wait to hear how it goes!

Hormonal, now you've got it well sussed... I will learn from your example, get myself online and rack up a few potentials... Not put all my eggs in one basket ( I know, I know.. The rules lol)

Poffedoff · 30/10/2013 19:38

Just messaged him... Told him my neighbour came across him on pof and came to tell me.. said the bit about it being interesting that he is now looking for a relationship when I was under the impression we were having one already!

He replied and said he had just rejoined.. That he was on it a long time and needed to let others know he was finished with it...that he is with me and no Interest in anyone else... Apologising over and over saying he didn't mean to hurt or shock me.. fuck.

SweetSeraphim · 30/10/2013 19:46

Do you know what, Poffedoff, I actually believe him. Are you going to give him another chance?

PaulineWhatsername · 30/10/2013 20:05

Poffedoff That's like what I did.

What now?

Poffedoff · 30/10/2013 20:12

I've no idea... I'm actually glad I didn't do this by phone or face to face... being able to pause between texts and re read his is making it easier to get my point across.. I've just told him I was really taken aback after everything we talked about, that I wasn't into mind games or bullshit, life is too short for all that crap... That I thought he was of the same mindset as me... He replied that he was, that he'd been fucked over enough times to know how it felt and wouldn't do it to anyone let alone me...
The thing I've got to think about is this... If he genuinely is on the pull again would he not have taken this opportunity to just come clean? It would be pretty easy for him to do, I instigated the texting so he would have been able to just text his pfo and that would be that.
On the other hand, how many bloody threads are there on mn about people who swear blind it is all a misunderstanding and try desperately to convince the poor misfortunate mug that they're the only one??
I think FWB sounds like a much more appealing option for me right now, this serious shit is wrecking my head!!

Poffedoff · 30/10/2013 20:21

I should apologise to you all actually, think I've rather hijacked this thread! Don't let my misery stop any of you from reporting back with glowing tales of all your dates, I could do with reading some success stories! x

powpow80 · 30/10/2013 20:26

Poffedoff just take some time to digest it and see what you feel. I suppose we have to remember not every guy is a twat. There's had to be one or two good ones out there. Just one thing though. Why did he change it to wants a relationship? Sorry if that is throwing the car among the pigeons.

powpow80 · 30/10/2013 20:33

Cat not car. Sweet Jesus I need to proofread

powpow80 · 30/10/2013 20:35

Christ I am brain dead today. Sorry I just realised you said he rejoined. Ignore the last bit of my mail poffedoff. Sorry thread. Shall try better.

brokenhearted55a · 30/10/2013 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dontcallmehon · 30/10/2013 21:01

That is confusing poffed. Think I would want a talk about it.

Rich guy just phoned me from the States! I didn't answer so he left a message. Put solicitor off till next week in case it all goes wrong with geeky guy...might text rich guy too.

arsenaltilidie · 30/10/2013 21:03

Poff had just rejoined.. That he was on it a long time and needed to let others know he was finished with it...that he is with me and no Interest in anyone else

That is a load of bollox.

First of all you know he has been on it for a while.

And please do not believe someone REJOINS a dating website and goes to the trouble of changing his setting just to let people know he is not looking for a partner Hmm.

Please do not let this man take you for a fool.

And lets be honest, its not a FWB you want from this guy either.

You need to bin this one as bad experience and save yourself a lot of bother in the near future.

He's a cock!!!!

brokenhearted55a · 30/10/2013 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Poffedoff · 30/10/2013 21:51

He's being very sweet and contrite, telling me how stupid he feels and how he really hopes I don't think less of him... He wants me to call him but I've told him its doubtful tonight, kids are here and I don't have enough privacy to call... I don't want to make it into a huge drama but equally I don't want to make light of it either... I feel wobbly about it all now, slightly on the back foot iykwim...my instinct is to reassure him that I'm ok now, that I believe him and hey, it's no big deal so as I don't come across as needy and insecure... Surely though this IS a biggish deal, he SHOULD feel bad and maybe a little time stewing wouldn't be a bad thing?

Broken, did you say you confronted your guy about it? Did he reassure you and then go back online again afterwards?

Poffedoff · 30/10/2013 21:56

Oops I missed those last few posts... I agree too, I doubt very much that's the reason he rejoined... Why in earth doesn't he just say then that he just isn't that sure about things? Why be so apologetic and embarrassed?

I worded that FWB thing wrongly, I didn't mean with him, I meant dump him and get a FWB thing going with someone else! Reckon I'm not the type though as tend to let those pesky emotions get in the way!

ladygoingGaga · 30/10/2013 21:59

poff I'm a tad suspicious too, not sure his reasoning or excuse stands up really. If I had even a slight doubt in his honesty then it would be a non starter for me.

This early on there is already mis-trust, you have had to tell a white lie too about the neighbour. How can a relationship start on that?

Poffedoff · 30/10/2013 22:00

Nice one Dontcallme... I'd say it's no harm at all keeping in touch with Rich guy, he sounds keen!

ladygoingGaga · 30/10/2013 22:01

poff. Classic behaviour I'm afraid, feeling sorry for himself, making comments that entice you to rescue him.... Too many red flags for me.

Trust your gut feeling

Poffedoff · 30/10/2013 22:02

Ladygaga, I hear ya Sad

PaulineWhatsername · 30/10/2013 22:22

Poff Really not sure about this - as I said earlier I did this. I went on the site after I'd met XDP and sent messages to a few guys I'd had a rapport with. It felt the right thing to do. I wasn't keeping my options open with them or anything like that, just wanted to say kinda 'thanks and bye; best of luck; I've found someone wonderful'.

Why not see how things are when you see him on Friday? Then dump him if the red flags are obvious

PaulineWhatsername · 30/10/2013 22:25

No loo update from Ham yet?

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