The Dating Thread 64

[unBant]

Here we go again...

Well, we met at 3 and it was almost midnight when I got home. I got quite drunk on amaretto cocktails. There was lots of snogging. I told him about the whole not doing casual sex thing. I said it would take either six sambucas or six months to seduce me. He said he'd prefer the six months option - which I said was a good answer. We arranged the second date at the end of the first - we have planned where we're meeting and when. And he texted me as soon as I got home We both forgot to eat dinner.

Don't really want to date the solicitor on Friday now. Geeky guy was so much fun.

Oh and he's really tall. I can wear my highest heels and he's still much taller than me. I like that.

Hrmph I just typed a message and it's disappeared

Dontcallme that all sounds so exciting!! When are you seeing him again?

Well I am feeling very pouty this morning about Dimples. I thought the whole date had gone really well, chatting and laughing until the pub closed again, bit of flirting on the escalators, but I just got stupidly nervous when it came to goodnight kiss between two tube platforms in a big bright open public space keeping one eye out waiting for trains. I texted when I got back later (really quite late) that I'd had a lovely evening again and thankyou, but not had a reply still. Big pouty face . Dammit.

Gosh this thread really zooms along...
Dontcallme that sounds like the perfect date, when are you seeing him again?

Oneday don't panic just yet, there could be a simple explanation for lack of texts... It'd be pretty unlikely that he'd disappear over a little nervous giggling, he could even find it endearing.

Broken... It's obvious you are still finding it hard to move on from your last guy but torturing yourself by checking his online presence won't help you ( I speak from experience!)
As a matter of interest, the guy you were with for 3 months who you told you'd dump if he didn't come offline, did he not wonder why you were still on there?
I only ask because I had a similar situation with pof guy, I knew he was still online but only because I'd set up a fake profile to spy on him ( pathetic I know). I'd never have been able to confront him with it or he would have known I was snooping.

Woop, we have contact. Game is still in play people. Damn I think I like this one, I really cared a bit then.

Broken it sucks when you get so hung up on someone. Be strong! I don't know about others but I've only ever really gotten over people when I've stayed out of contact with them - or managed to get myself to see them for who they really are.

What it is is frustrating Broken. I used to be a big Tori Amos fan in my angstier days and loved the line about some other woman just being "pieces of me you've never seen". There is something frustrating about someone who seems to not take the trouble to see the good bits of you. But what you have to remember, painful as it is, is they did see enough to know a relationship wouldn't be right. It's no reflection on you and it's the perogative we all have when dating. But there is no shared past, no expectation of a shared future. Your posts have been palpably painful for quite some time. I feel like you're still taking some old hurt and projecting it onto every new setback. Can I ask if you're getting real life support from friends etc?

Hello everyone. I'm on POF, but not sure what I'm looking for; I'm happy on my own but would like someone dark skinned, toned, sexy with great stamina and self-control I really fancy for sex, and an excuse to dress up and go out. So far I've met 3 men. The first was nice but no sexual chemistry from me. The second was lovely and the sexual chemistry was as intense as I've ever experienced; we spent more time shagging than talking which was soooo much fun. Unfortunately that seems to have fizzled out - him siting lots of shit on his plate so not knowing when he can see me again - but he wants to keep in touch (I expect he just wants to keep his options open/not burn his bridges. Dammit I really miss our shaggathons It was only casual but it suited me.

Met No3 last night. He was handsome and good company but for some reason I just can't get enthusiastic about him. Perhaps it's a lack of shared interests, or maybe it was his overuse of tongue when kissing [euw]

I'm meeting No4 on Friday afternoon and I'm quite excited about him. We've had a couple of stonking chats on the phone where we've put the world to rights, and seem to have the same views and values. If nothing else I expect the date will be interesting. Only thing with him is that I might find him too intense and he has a slightly odd writing style in texts. Also I can't tell what he looks like clearly from his photo so no idea if I'll fancy him physically. I'll find out on Friday!

Still I'd say don't reply/chat/interact with anyone who is not of interest to you. That way you don't waste your time or theirs.

Tricky it says a lot about your judgement - you knew something wasn't right - you've shared it with your new thread chums and we've given our two penneth - now you can decide what to do. There's plenty more out there.

Broken he wasn't right for you . Move on. Go out for a walk or eat some

don't we need more intimate details.

One nervous is good

This threads moving too fast - I've just responded to folk on the last page Note to self: keep up!

broken what do you mean by you don't think you can tell in a few dates - tell what?

This recent guy who just talked about himself all the time - is this who you're hung up on? What is it about him that you like? He sounds quite self-absorbed, I wouldn't have gone on a second date with someone that just banged on about problems in their life, I'm looking for a partner, not a counselling patient. If they're not interested in finding out about me - I'm not interested in them.

If you're feeling so low, maybe it's not the right time to be dating at the moment? It's tough enough without already being in a depressed state.

I feel that I can tell if someone MIGHT me right for me in a few dates. Often I can tell they are definitely NOT right for me in one date. In one minute sometimes.
I have to say I would never air my personal worries with dates, dates are for putting on your best you, dazzling with all your good bits, there are certain things that just should not be discussed on the first few dates - that's what friends are for, and someone you are dating is not your friend, not in the beginning.

I'm sorry broken, I guess I don't understand what it is that you DO like about this chap. From what you've said, you didn't enjoy the dynamic of the dates constantly focusing on negatives, you tried to steer it elsewhere but he didn't respond, and he said he ''wasn't in the right frame of mind'' - basically he wasn't going to change and didn't want to date you. Why would you want to see him again?

Hello! I'm a long time lurker but quite new to MN!

I split up with my verrrry controlling ex, and wasn't looking for anyone new. A few weekends ago I went out clubbing with some friends, and one of their friends was out that night too - when he left we hugged then he added me on. Facebook and was asking my friend for my number. So seemed pretty interested - fast forward a few weeks, we've been texting A LOT and we're both really keen.
I saw him again when out clubbing - again - and we kissed snogged in the club! And were dancing together ect.
We've both said we would like to meet each other sober - I'm just worried that after the kiss ect he might think in just after sex and no relationship which isn't what I want.

What can I say to him so that he realises I'm not just an easy shag??

Wish ''I'm not an easy shag'' should do it :-). And er, following through on that! Although I think the fact that he would like to get to know you sober would indicate to me that that's not all that he's after, hopefully. If I was just after that with someone, I'd have tried it on more in the club.

Broken, it does sound like a shame, but unfortunately the dating game does involve kissing a few frogs...I'm sorry that you are feeling hurt by it though. Do you feel maybe that your low mood or depression could be a problem in itself?

Well I'm off out with colleague's housemate this evening. Had some amusing texts with colleague about it earlier. I'm not expecting anything more than a bit of fun from it, we're heading to a swish cocktail place. I just hope don't get too drenched on the way back if this storm turns up!

brokenhearted geeky guy is a software developer with his own company. I like techy men who are good at computers and stuff. He is 6 foot 3 and wears glasses and is slightly nervous around me, which is very endearing. We just talked for ages. At one point I told him that a woman knows when a man likes her. He said 'do I like you?'.and I said 'yes.' I was right, he did.

He's texted today, hoping I wasn't too hungover. We're going to a restaurant next Saturday and we've vowed to take it slightly easier with the alcohol! I don't want to date anyone else now, tba.

Tbh, that should say. Enjoy your evening oneday

hey gorgeous I was wondering if you have a moment to spare for me to hit on you.

From a 27 year old. I'm old enough to be his mother

No, fuck off.