The Dating Thread 64

[unBant]

Here we go again...

broken a misery shared is a misery halved. You can share my

I'm home alone too.....pof seems to be full of short men tonight

I'm chatting to a guy who wants to meet Friday, he lives quite close to me so am tempted although only has one pic

Why are you miserable broken?

Hormonal Do you have a certain height (for them) that you won't go below? I'm 5' 9", and 5' 11" is the shortest I'll consider, but actually I prefer the bigger guys. I'm chatting to one whose 6' 4", and 3 years younger than me

Pauline yes I'm 5'6 so I like them to be 5'10+ really. I wear heels when I go out too.

Hi,

I've recently split from dh and about to start to find someone for dating on pof. Im Not looking for the next serious relationship but just someone to get dressed up for and have a nice time.

Whats the rules for od? Do I message them first? How long do you message for until one of you suggest a date?
I've stupidly recognised someone I know on there and messages them to say hi, we've sent the odd message but it doesn't seem to have moved on and now I don't know what to do.

God this is nerve racking stuff. Why can't I be 18 again and just send my friend over to do that 'my friend likes you melarky'

Can I join?

I've been watching this thread for months now and love hearing all the dating stories. Am finally dipping my toe into the world of OD after a very difficult separation from my STBXH last year.

I'm meeting someone tomorrow afternoon. My first meet after being with my H for nearly 10 years! This man has been full on texting, very keen, and to his credit he agreed to meet up when I said that would be my preference rather than texting for too long and potentially wasting time.

But something doesn't sit right in my gut. He goes through periods where he texts a lot, then he goes quiet for hours. And always at the same time of day (i.e. when he goes quiet). He texts far more during the day.

Alarm bells? I suppose I have to just go along and see?

Still Welcome - you'll find lots of support here. The rules for OD are somewhere near the start of this thread - they are really worth following and will prevent much heartache.

Regarding messaging first, that's fine or let them message you - you can give them a hint that you're interested by making them a favourite. I'd say if you've shared 10 or so messages between you then its time for one of you to suggest a date, but it depends and also some men just want to chat not date, as do some women. You'll discover during the messaging if they're worthy of a date with you, many will not be. You can tell them you're not interested or just stop messaging.

Personally I don't reply at all to anyone I'm not interested in or anyone who just says Hi or whatever.

About the one you've messaged that you recognised, there's no need to do anything - move on.

Have lots of guys on the go at once, then none of them become too important. View it as a hobby

Ok he's hot!

Broken I'm sorry you're feeling sad but you know that no good will come of contacting him. It'll just result in more more misery.

Its horrible being dumped - we've all been there and it hurts, and the only thing you can do is learn from it and don't make the same mistakes again - no more problem cases, okay?

Maybe sit on the sofa for a while if you can't trust yourself to be drawn towards him or another tosser

don't - hot, you say?

Still- that's what I want for a bloke too I just didn't quite realise until you put it like that.

Tricky that smacks of married or partner to me

Welcome Tricky If you've been following the thread for a while you'll have a picked up lots of good advice already.

Could you ask him about 'going quiet' before you meet him - see if his reason seems credible. Just keep your wits about you and trust your gut. He might have an absorbing hobby, be driving, asleep or have a wife and kids

"Tricky that smacks of married or partner to me"

Yes, me too. He said he's been to his parents 4 times this week, hence he's been unavailable. 4 times?!!

Also said this morning 'My old phone is playing up'.

Makes me wonder if he has 2 phones.

Then when I question him I get back 'I'm besotted with you'.

Tell me to run for the hills.

I too just want to get dressed up (well a bit) and go out and have a nice time, that is all!! I'm only meeting him the afternoon, so nothing lost really, just cannot be doing with a player first time round. What does that say about my judgement?

Ugh tricky delete him he's wasting your time! Or he can't cut the apron strings

I want to just be able to have someone to go out with every now and again, feel excited getting ready, be made to feel special, have a flirt and go home happy.
I can't be arsed in all the mind games, or worry.

So is it a case that if I'm not interested I just don't reply?
I think I'm too nice, ill end up chatting to everyone because I feel sorry for them and then feel bad about letting them down.

Hi Lou
I would say alarm bells should be ringing. I bet you want to just get out there and meet someone but choose wisely, if there are doubts now it'll only get worse. Do you feel good about your interaction with him or does it feel you leaving uneasy? If the latter id say trust your gut, and get looking for someone else. I've had similar situations myself with guys from online dating (going out of contact etc) so just my two penneth

I proper like geeky guy!

dont excellent! tell us more

I've just come back from dinner and date number 4 with supermarket man, proper like him too my cheeks literally ache from smiling and laughing all night.
My parents were staying over to babysit so school kid like snog in the car.

So ended up inviting him round mine for dinner tomorrow evening as DS going to grandparents for half term.
alcohol seems to have made me forget I can't cook
Shit, what can I make that is easy?

End-of-night report from second date with Dimples; ooh he is really lovely. Although obviously quite a bit of a quieter person than me but that could work. I think the evening went really well and had a great time, talking, laughing, fun. Definite definite potential. But I think I may have messed up the goodnight kiss....giggled. I got nervous. And now I'm nervous as to what happens next. Bah this liking someone business!

Going for a drink with colleague's housemate tomorrow night, mainly as a distraction I think!

Dont tell us about geekyguy then!

Oh rubbish I think I really did mess up there. No post-date text. Pants.