The Dating Thread 64

[unBant]

Here we go again...

That's great Dontcallme. Is that the rich guy?

Excellent news dontcallme :) so when are you meeting him?!

No, the rich guy hasn't texted back yet - but I think he's in the US on business this week. To be honest, I'm starting to lose interest in him. Geeky guy is someone I think I might like - he's clever and seems normal and nice.

However, this leaves me with something of an ethical dilemma. I'm trying to multiple date - but my time is very limited. I work evenings and only really have the whole of Saturday free this week. I've kind of agreed to meet normal bloke this Saturday - but we haven't arranged anything definite yet.

I'm fairly sure I won't have anything potentially long term with normal bloke. His spelling isn't great (I'm a trained English teacher - so I'm pernickety about that) and he isn't all that bright. He does seem nice enough. Plus his profile pic is a bit blurry, so he could be hiding something.

Would it be terribly wrong to cancel normal bloke and replace him with geeky guy? Or could I cope with two dates in one day? A change of outfit would be needed though and it might be too much...

Why change ofoutfit?just go from one to other, easy ??

Well, I've just ordered a silk jumpsuit that is too much for daytime wear and I wanted to wear it on Saturday night.

Maybe I could wear jeans and a nice top and save the jumpsuit for second dates?

Dontcallmehon - if you think you'll be too stressed doing both I'd probably cancel normal. Although I can see the advantage of having met him sooner rather than later so you know whether to rule him out or not.

Yogagirl, I think you might need to have the chat again. It's only going to get more awkward.

I have a date lined up tonight with someone I met on POF. Turns out we work for the same organisation - it's a big one so not likely to bump into each other otherwise it'd feel too close to home, but at least we will have something to talk about if the conversation dries up! I'm getting nervous now! We've been chatting lots online and he seems lovely. Fingers crossed

I'm wearing jeans and a nice top by the way dontcallmehon!

I meant to ask Bant, How did things work out with Mermaid? I'm a long time lurker and remember that you guys seemed to have something good going on?

Good luck on the date Moody... Outfit sounds perfect!

Excellent, congrats poffed!

I've just about recovered from last week's lurgy in time for this week's date(s). Thursday is all going ahead as it stands but Friday guy has not been in touch to arrange details yet. We planned the day two weeks in advance due to my commitments (he was cool with that) but not specifics. He said he would call me this week.

How long should I give him before I make other plans? I'm thinking noon Wednesday for a Friday date? Don't want to waste a babysitter!

HEEEELLLPPP!!! So I haven't dated in months and now have a date, tomorrow night, at a posh wine bar in central London but I really want to wear a dress but have a large scar on my ankle, on the outside from having a metal plate fitted a few weeks ago, I am still on crutches n cant walk but my scar is god damn awful and the only proper decent pair of jeans the paramedics cut to get to my leg when I had my accident. He seems nice and is aware of my accident but I don't want my scar to put him off and honestly when I see it in the mirror I still want to cry. Its ugly, 4inches long and I hate it personally!!! I know I have just got to deal with itbutits not well enough healed yet to put make up over it

Yoga - Tricky situation, I've been there! I ended things with a guy I'd met on POF earlier this year for the same reason, the more he seemed to fall for me the more I wanted to runaway! Is it the intensity and speed of his feelings that are worrying you? If so maybe remind him that you don't want to rush things? But I must say in my experience when I (or occasionally the guy) has fallen harder for the other it tends to end quickly after the first 'I love you'!

Dont - follow your instinct and cancel normal guy!

Stupid - If you can't wear jeans or tights then you are going to have to be brave! I promise you no one else will notice the scar half as much as you do! I have a huge appendix scar on my stomach - whenever I am in bikini or underwear apparently the way I hide the scar with my arm is more noticeable than the scar itself! If he's a keeper then he will be too busy staring at your beautiful face and being wowed by your amazing company to even notice your scar!

I have been dating the detective for 5 weeks now. He is so busy with work it makes our meets very sporadic, sometimes 3 times in a week, sometimes once in 10 days. I can't work out if he's really into me or not - but he did do the 'double text' today! I just don't trust my judgement in men anymore!

Yoga I'd tell him very clearly that the two of you are not going to be living together any time soon; you have the DCs as your priority etc etc; you realise he's way ahead of you in the love/commitment stakes, but if he really understands and accepts that then maybe you have a future together. Or something like that.

Stupid he absolutely won't be put off by your scar. A dressing over it maybe and/or opaque tights? It'll be a topic of conversation

I had my date with Mr Policeman today (date 1 of 5 for this week) - something of a disappointment. No chemistry and only minimal spark. Every time I said something he would take over the conversation and tell me about how that applied to him, so it got quite boring because obviously what I had to say would have been more interesting than his drivel So I won't be seeing him again.

I've had to tell the Widower that I'm not going to see him after all as he was sending stupid messages saying stuff like "You're trying to create a battle of the sexes" - not understanding my sense of humour I presume. Oh hum....

Stupid please try not to worry about your scar, things like that always seem much worse to us than to others. It's probably because, to us, the scar signifies the injury that goes with it, which may have been quite traumatic. To others it's just a mark on your skin which may have an interesting story behind it. You don't have to talk about it to him if you don't want, but I bet you anything he really will just be 'interested' rather than anything bad.

Having said that, my stomach is fairly badly damaged after 2 babies (one very big one) along with a c-section scar and I'm hugely stressing about unveiling them to anyone..

Stupid I really wouldn't stress about the scar. These things are never as obvious as we think and it's doubtful he'll be staring at your ankles. Because we all know that wrists are the real turn-on.

Broken comments like that get my back up. It normally means hard-work. Some people are harder to get to know, but it always seems to be accompanied by odd traits if they feel the need to broadcast it. It's the same way people will self define as shy when what they really mean is they don't make an effort and have got comfortable doing that.

Stupid dress & tights is very nice. I sometimes wear a dress with boots - so ankles well covered. But as others have said, try not to stress about it. Just remember you're going ot have much stronger feelings about that scar than he will.

Pauline I've been quite clear with him that I can't rush ahead with any commitment-type stuff and that I still need space for myself and he says he's ok with all that. It's the emotional side of things that's worrying me. I can't just come out and say, "I think you're falling in love with me and I don't feel the same". But maybe I've said enough already and just need to stop overthinking and see how things go.

I had second date with mr Gemini, he came to mine we had takeaway n then dessert??

Was very good n getting on really well. He met my baby son and they took an instant shine to each other which was nice

stupid if he is any kind of decent man worthy of you, a scar will not put him off. It doesn't define you. In the last year I have really overcome my body issues. I'm fat, have a super flabby belly with the horrid c-section flop and have gigantic breasts that nurse a kid for three years and now point down. But of the three me. Is slept with since my divorce not a single one has made a negative comment or seemed like it turned them off. One in particular loved rubbing my belly and a few times said "rub the Buddha" in an almost reverent way. Your body doesn't define you. My self confidence has really risen and after a bit it as clear to me that my own confidence was sexy to them.

yoga I recently broke up with a guy from pof for the same reason. He went zero to sixty in a flash and after there months was talking marriage. I am not there yet.

bant thanks for the input. He wasn't scared away, we had a very frank discussion and now have a clearly defined friends with benefits type thing going on. He's enjoying being single after divorce and so am I enjoying the freedom. But we still after years of knowing each other and gently flirting want to shag each other senseless, so we're going to! I'm actually so relieved and pleased to find he's capable of communicating clearly what he's feeling, and that I don't need to fear leading him on in some way because I want to sleep with him. Phew!!

Stupid,

Speaking as a bloke, your scar would not bother me one bit.

With me it is starting to get a bit complicated. I have a 2nd date with Black Pepper Woman in a weeks time-still not 100% sure about what I feel for her.Since I joined a new (Dutch) OD site I contacted one woman who I am chatting with and now three who have contacted me.I might need to create a spreadsheet to keep track of everyone :-)

Ordinaryguy I love a spreadsheet! Yes you definitely need one lol. I may do one too, although I only have one date on the go right now I like to be organised..

Raf glad you've had your chat and sorted everything out. It's very good to talk - this is one of the reasons my h & I broke down, we seemed unable to communicate. I am determined to never let it happen again.

In other news, a 2nd date is imminent here and I'm excited! 1st date went very well & texting continues every day. There are flirtatious undertones but mostly just funny banter and we do seem to get on particularly well.

On the first date it was clear that neither of us really wanted to go home, but I had to get back as I had a bbsitter. We kissed and it was great. This time my dcs are out overnight so I think we both know where it's heading. He's suggested going into our nearest city as the nightlife is much better there but now we're in the realms of how to get there/back.

He's tentatively suggested we could stay over (if I want?) or if not it'll be a train back. If train, I could head back to his place (again only if I want) or just go home.

I'm happy to do either of the first two as I'm fairly sure we're going to have a great night. Is a hotel a bad thing though? It seems very very soon for only a 2nd date, but then is it any different to just going back to his?

I did feel very comfortable with him & I don't think he'll mind whichever option I choose, but I think he's provided 'options' just to show he is v keen without being too pushy.

What do you think?