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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Dating Thread 64

1001 replies

unBant · 05/10/2013 15:11

Here we go again...

OP posts:
brokenhearted55a · 19/10/2013 15:00

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Hormonalhell · 19/10/2013 15:20

Awww brokenhearted, hopefully won't be this way for long. I know a lovely Pisces man, shall I hook you up? Wink

Don't think mr gemini is victim to sweet shop syndrome cos i barely see him on PoF and believe me I check often it's just this what's app problem.he says he texts his mum m friends on what's app . Not til 11.30 at night I'm sure although his mum lives in Australia Hmm

brokenhearted55a · 19/10/2013 15:28

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Poffedoff · 19/10/2013 16:11

Still, your story sounds painfully similar to mine...watsapp is the devils spawn! I'm gearing myself for a heart to heart with pof guy tomorrow..need to know is he just talkin' the talk although he seems to have finally deleted his pof account Smile.
Oneday I wish so much I had your attitude towards all this dating stuff... I love the rules Bant posted but it's the sticking to them I'm finding hard!

Poffedoff · 19/10/2013 16:14

Broken, I'm sorry to hear that... I know that sinking feeling when you spot them online only too well Sad

brokenhearted55a · 19/10/2013 16:50

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ladygoingGaga · 19/10/2013 17:08

A mixture of good dates and not so good dates in last 24 hours then.

I've got my third date with supermarket guy, not made it to a third date yet, so nervous once again. I've tidied up down stairs Grin and have some new undies.

He is picking me up, so can have a small glass of wine before to chill out.

Anyone else got a date tonight??

brokenhearted55a · 19/10/2013 17:45

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StupidMistakes · 19/10/2013 20:44

Hello everyone, haven't been dating for months. got my own place again and been put with three boys, doesn't bother me in the slightest, two are never here, I am lucky if I see them once a week for ten minutes which suits me just fine and the other one is lovely, properly my type tattoos, muscles, comfy chest to rest my head on, gentle, funny oh and four years younger. I swore that my rule was NO HOUSEMATES!! Well that didn't last after months of no sex my sex drive took over and erm yeah well he was definitely worth it!! It has been repeated since, but neither of us want a relationship which is great with me!! I like him, but this girl is not getting into any relationship!!!

In other news I GOT MY DIVORCE!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!! Finally free to do what or who I like!!

Angeletta · 19/10/2013 20:46

OneDay sorry your date with Traveller didn't strike sparks. Same for me with Scandinavian Guy I'm afraid. He was nice, polite and paid the bill (only for tea and cake so not big bucks) but we aren't on the same wavelength at all. We had a lot of time to talk first over tea and then walking round the museum and to the tube, and two things really told me he wasn't for me. One was that we were talking about middle names and he was joking about his and said wouldn't it be funny if it was the same as the name of the place where we were. I didn't find that 'funny' - more like 'the lamest joke ever.' The other thing was that he said he went to Venice and it was boring. Now I don't expect everyone to be as into the arts as I am, but I truly can't see myself with anyone who thinks Venice is boring. It would be in my top ten destinations for a romantic holiday.

Also, he had kind of a girly umbrella. One of those transparent ones with a coloured border. It started raining as we parted so he put it up and trotted happily off.

The umbrella could soon be dealt with however - borrowed and 'accidentally' run over, misplaced on the train, the possibilities are endless. More of a problem is that there is absolutely no spark and no physical chemistry - can't imagine kissing him let alone DTD. Oh, and he's a bit young for me at 34 - nearly 5 years younger in fact. He had thought I was the same age but I set him straight. It's not compatibility that concerns me so much as the dc issue - after years of health and fertility issues I now don't want dc and I think 34 year old unattached men are too young to be sure either way and highly likely to change their minds later even if they think they don't want dc now. My ideal boyfriend would be somewhere in his 40s and would already have had the snip.

Still are you 100% sure he's not in a relationship? Have you been to his house?

Angeletta · 19/10/2013 20:50

Stupid congrats on being a free woman - onward and upward! Smile

Hormonalhell · 19/10/2013 21:50

I suspect mr Gemini is out on a date tonight Hmm told me was going out with his brother but I sent him a message on the dreaded what's app an hour ago asking how his night was going (we have been messaging all day btw) and he not been online and this is a guy who always online n messages frequent.

Prob reading into this far too much Confused

brokenhearted55a · 19/10/2013 22:53

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Poffedoff · 19/10/2013 23:02

I am giving myself a good talking to here for exactly the same reason hormonal!
Pof guy is out tonight too... I'm trying to tell myself it's Innocent but hate the gnawing feeling in my gut that's it's not.. He really hasn't given me any reason to doubt him so I'm putting it down to my own insecurities... Trying to distract myself by watching a movie with my ds... It's not working! Arrrgh.

Poffedoff · 19/10/2013 23:03

What site is it broken?

brokenhearted55a · 19/10/2013 23:05

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Poffedoff · 19/10/2013 23:08

He could be taking a break? Are we talking about Pisces?

StupidMistakes · 19/10/2013 23:08

Sometimes I don't message people back, doesn't mean I am out with another man, just means I am busy or maybe they are drunk and don't want to ruin their chances with you by sending a stupid drunk text not that I personally would ever have sent any of them

PaulineWhatsername · 19/10/2013 23:16

Misssss its horrible, isn't it. You need distraction to prevent you giving him too much head space. I posted on here the other day about Media Guy who I'd had a good date with, talked of a second one and then he disappeared. I was really annoyed with myself for being so bothered, but its so had not to be.

My 'cure' was to contact lots of other guys and the nice attention it got me pushed Media Guy to the back of my mind. But this weeks 'problem' is that after my frantic distraction messaging I have 5 first date invites Halloween Smile from seemingly nice guys - Mr Policemen (my current favourite, but will need to meet him somewhere he won't see my car reg or I'll be paranoid about him tracing my address); The Director (seems intelligent and funny but appears to have strange little head in his photo Halloween Confused); the Widower (haven't dated a widower before Halloween Hmm ); the Lawyer (5 years older than me but looks like a pensioner even older in his photo); and Nice Lad (4 years younger than me; potential plaything )

And this morning Media Guy messaged me - been busy apparently and wants to arrange second date. Will get back to him next week if I can be bothered

Good luck to all those on dates on this evening.

Hormonalhell · 19/10/2013 23:25

Poffed terrible isn't it? Hmm I always believe my intuition and it's telling me I'm right about this. No doubt he'll worm his way out of it have a good excuse

brokenhearted55a · 19/10/2013 23:32

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moodyblue · 20/10/2013 00:21

Can I join in? Have been lurking for a while and not joined in cause I don't feel I know enough about everyone's stories but have decided to bite he bullet as I need some sensible advice. Think I know what you'll say but here goes.

I've been separated since May 2012 after being with ex husband for 22 years. In February joined match and chatted to a few guys but only dated one of them. First date we met up at lunchtime. Got on ok. Didn't feel any instant connection, although liked him enough to agree to meet up again.

Next time, few drinks in he suggested that you don't really know if here's a spark there till you kiss someone. I brushed it off the first time then he tried again later which resulted in some very public snogging that turned me into a puddle on the floor. I ended up taking him home and shagging the arse off him (I know, I'm shameless). Anyway, over the next few weeks we saw each other five or six times and always spent he night together at my house or his. I thought things were going ok - I'd not dtd for a fair few years before I split up with exh so it was all a bit of a novelty. I knew really that I wasn't able to completely relax with him but it was still a bit of a surprise when he dumped me by email claiming lack of chemistry.

A few months on he got in touch and we swapped a few texts. Late one night I suggested he let me know if he'd changed his mind about a fwb relationship and he was round within half an hour. Since then. We've met up for sex a few times. But we've not spoken about what went wrong last time, whether this is truly a fwb situation or whether it might become something more. I know I want to ask but can't find the words.

Deep down I know I'm being a mug I suppose but tbh I'm not sure I want much more anyway. I think maybe it's easier to try to make something work with this one than start again with someone else.

Any tips/help/suggestions will be greatly appreciated!

I'm being a twat aren't I?!

ladygoingGaga · 20/10/2013 01:58

So date went well... He just left Grin will update more tomorrow as sleep is needed!

Hormonalhell · 20/10/2013 09:04

How was dessert Gaga Wink

Moody if u are happy with FWB situation then that's ok but by the sounds of your post I suspect not?

I suggest dating other people, that way take your mind off him and u might even meet a guy whose willing to give you more.

Hormonalhell · 20/10/2013 09:13

Still are you still seeing your guy tonight? If so I'd talk to him about your worries

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