Hello again everybody. I'm so glad to have found you. I am a mess. Since I last was here, chaos has ensued. Of my own doing, I course.
If anyone remembers, when I drifted away from you I was seeing the Oil Rigger. He really was lovely, treated me wonderfully and was kind, considerate, etc. sex was very good. But, although I liked him, the "spark" wasn't there. I could feel that although I enjoyed his company for the most part, it never would be there. And I want a fucking spark, damn it. I won't settle for sparkless again. So, I gently ended it.
Since then, I have changed jobs. From a shit job to a fabulous one that I love and pays me decently. So hooray for that part! Anyhow, (I worked in a grocery store. The store was shit, not the line of work) I had become friendly with one of the outside vendors. When I say friendly, I mean that we joked around and had a laugh when I saw him and that privately I've had a crush on him for years 
. When he learned I was leaving he asked for my number to "keep in touch". About a week after I left he texted me and we've been in daily contact ever since. So, a month or so. Calls have been friendly, texts became flirtatious on both sides. We've both admitted we always had an eye for each other.
The problem I'm having is that despite not having seen Each other in person since I changed jobs, my feelings toward him have grown to stupid proportions and I'm afraid I'm going to act or seem like a loon. It's not like he's a faceless entity or words on a screen though, I do actually know this man. Is it possible to fall in love in these circumstances or am I mistaking infatuation and lust for love? He certainly has faults but I haven't found any serious ones yet, nor red flags. He's a single father in sole custody of his child, works six days a week to support himself and child, doesn't drink to excess (at least as far as I've ever seen or heard), doesn't smoke or do drugs. He's smart, very funny, respectful. He's sexy as hell. I WANT him.
Help. I don't want to screw up and come across as a bunny boiler. I think of him constantly but I have been careful not to bombard him with communication. He initiates talking as often as I do. But I'm so afraid that despite it seeming he actually likes me that he's actually just after a booty call. I'm afraid to put too much out there too soon and get my heart broken.
Fuck. I'm just a mess. I actually really care about this one.