The Dating Thread 64

[unBant]

Here we go again...

Hello all. I am still mooning over crush man and definitely nearing the end of the window wherever have to meet up or sack the whole thing . Lots of nice texting though.

Meanwhile pof is throwing up fresh meat and quite an interesting matlow. I thought pof might have died but maybe not....

Dickhead twuntface exh is hovering around me on pof though. Get a life!

Thanks sixfoot - I will conclude that it's not me, it's them! I'll steer clear of the guy with the Porsche!
A little stranger, no but I know I won't fancy him. We get on sooo well though. He's very clever and funny.
Drank wine last night and stayed on pof till 2am. Can't remember what I said, but I seem to have acquired a number of new admirers

feelinlucky - did you like the guy? do you want to contact him? I mean, nice is nice, but do you just want nice?

Well update from me on Dimples, I showed the post-date text convo to a good friend (male) who said, yeah, I should be the one to get in touch. So I did, with a hey how are you message, and got a reply within half an hour asking about my plans for the wkend. So yay, am happy that there is prospect of 2nd date. Almost feel a bit bad for Traveller guy that I have first date with on Friday, that I'm definitely excited about another guy.

I caught my thick skin slackening a little this week. Had a date with Media Guy last week - lots of spark and a hint of chemistry (as per Bant's definition). He messaged me the next day about a second date to which I agreed - said lots of nice things and that he'd get back with some possible dates (busy person) and nothing bloody nothing

I'm really annoyed with myself that I've been bothered, and kept checking for a message from him

Anyway have given myself a good talking to and spent a few hours this evening messaging guys who've favourited me, and Mr Policeman has emerged

Media Guy? What Media Guy?

Oneday, yes I did like him but I think you're right, he doesn't feel anything more than nice but I think people can be growers? Anyway, I'm giving it a break for a bit. I'm usually reasonably thick skinned. I'm off to give myself some tlc and spend my spare time with friends and my sewing machine :)!

PaulineWhatsername, when to expect replies from other people can be an issue.I am exchanging messages with 2 women at the moment.with one we tnend to reply to each other within 36 hours.with the other I sent her a message Saturday evening.Last night I sent her a message asking if she had received my message of Saturday evening - she replied within an hour apologising saying that she had been ill and also very busy,but she was definitely still interested. So different people have different ideas of how long to leave it to reply to people they are still interested in.

When you go on dates,if I like the woman then I always send a message later that evening and no later than noon the next day.

Can I join you please? I'm going on my first date (in about 20yrs!) tomorrow & I'm nervous.

I separated from my husband (married 16 yrs, together 23) 3mths ago after years of EA. He'd previously had at least 3 online relationships with other women (that I know of, and they prob weren't just online) and he'd pretty much checked out of our marriage years ago.

In the meantime I hadn't so much as looked at another guy for 23yrs, was struggling to hold the family together, suffered depression as a result etc etc.

So once he'd gone I got angry & decided to have a 'look' at a dating site. Wasn't expecting anything at all other than a bit of banter but I've gone & found me a really lovely guy & I'm meeting him tomorrow for a drink.

Issues:
It's too soon, I'm not ready for anything serious, should I be enjoying being single before heading into this?

What to wear??

I'm not officially divorced yet (still going through) am I doing wrong? Feel strangely guilty. Can husband use it against me? (new guy knows situation, husband is already seeing someone else)

Do I sleep with him if I like him???

Panic panic panic. Help!

I know i didn't overreact but i'm just looking if it seems that way from an outside point of view!

History: I had been talking to a guy on POF for a few weeks, switched to texting/WhatsAp.

We arranged to meet and we went on a few dates he seemed charming enough although he had clearly put on about 3 stone since his profile pics were taken and he was very attached to his phone but he explained he was keeping a check on his e-mails as he had just lost his job and he was waiting for reply e-mails to applications so I let this pass as he seemed a nice bloke and as for the weight thing I'm not exactly Kate Moss!

Anyway after several dates we had got a bit steamy and it was sort of "agreed" we would be taking things further....
He arrived at my flat, and went straight to charge his phone, sat on an opposite sofa to me and proceeded to text. I asked what was so important and he said just checking e-mails.
However he then admits he is on POF! But not to worry they were just friends and they had been talking for ages but with no view to meeting up Well i didnt want to appear jealous or needy so i just let it go (yeah stupid i know) and he then was attentive so I thought what the heck, well we DTD and it was ok, not brilliant but ok.
However afterwards he just rolls over and goes to sleep! Next morning my alarm goes off and i say Good Morning he just grunts and says nothing!
So I get up go to the kitchen to put the kettle on and when i get back he's on his bloody phone again,texting and on POF and FB, and even worse still he's lying and farting in my bed!

Me: Do you know how rude and disrespecful that is?
Him: Gee, when did we get married?
Me:Don't turn it into be about something it's not, you are being so rude just now
Him: You're being a psycho and you need to chill
Me: you need to be out that door asap

He left of course - good riddance!
How could I get it so wrong again??! Yes, i know the answer is poor judgement yet again
I'm just so angry at myself for letting him spend the night!
Sorry for the ramble, i just needed to vent!

RollerCola,first good on you for getting rid of EA soon to be ExH-it must have taken a lot of emotional strength to do that!

With OD you have to be honest with yourself first-trust your gut instinct. Only sleep with youur date if it feels right for you at that moment. And also be honest with your date (looks like you have done that so far). I have never expected to sleep with a woman on a first date.

Does this mean you wouldn't sleep with them if the opportunity arose Ordinarybloke? I think if a guy truly likes you it won't matter when you sleep with him, first or tenth date

OMG cake he farted in your bed and didn't apologise?! What the hell! He sounds like a disrespectful arse in other ways too, good job you gave him the boot!

I would probably sleep with her if it felt right,but I would not normally "expect" that. But I believe much more in trusting your gut instinct.

Thanks nice I'm glad too.

I ignored just so many red flags with him though, i must get more savvy!

Cake,the attachment to their phone would be a bigbred flag to me. If he was really checking for replies to job applications then he could just put his phone in his pocket and itb would bleep and/or vibrate if he received an e-mail. With me,as soon as I meet a date the phone gets switched off and I would only switch it on again once the date is over or if she pops to the toilet.

That's the trouble cake if we meet someone we like, we tend to ignore them

I too am a great believer in gut instinct Ordinarybloke. The first date with Gemini was really nice last night. We seemed to click and he was very attentive of me . He text this morn to say he'd had a lovely evening so am hoping we meet again soon although it hasn't been arranged....patience

That's very true hormonal and believe me I won't make the same mistake again - i hope!

I can laugh about it now but i felt like shit first thing this morning,I mean honestly farting in bed after the first time you've slept with someone... I hate to think what he would have done once he had got really comfortable!!

Yes ordinary I agree, but his explanation sounded so plausible.

Lesson learned!

Fingers crossed with Mr Gemini hormonalhell. Sounds like it went really well. What an awful man, Cakes! I'm hoping to go on some more dates. Chatting on Match to older man from notoriously wealthy area in my city, who wants to wine and dine me. Chatting to 26 year old who likes older women - not into casual, but he has gorgeous blue eyes. Another couple of nice, intelligent guys who might be contenders and then my best pal on POF who I don't fancy, but is lovely.

Thanks Dontcallme

Is the wealthy guy good looking too? If so get in there girl

He's not bad looking and he seems nice. Average house prices in his area are over 1 million pounds. Not sure what he'd think of my very ordinary house!

Sounds like you had a very lucky escape there cake! I can't BELIEVE a guy could actually behave like that so early on in a relationship. That's the time he should be on his Very Best Behaviour!

Feeling a bit calmer about Date No. 1 tomorrow. Outfit sorted, have told friend where I'm going & she's going to be my SOS in case of emergency Going to just see it as a night out with a friend & see how it goes.

I'm so out of touch with all this it's untrue. Can't believe I've barely ever been on a date before. I met my husband when I was 15 and he was pretty much my first & only partner. 23 yrs on & I'm starting again. Feel a bit nervous but in general v excited.

Hello all, nice to see the blokes on the thread, I do love to get a male perspective on dating.

So I'm going on my third date Saturday, It's a meal at a local pub, he is picking me up. I'm a it of a baker, so going to make a nice dessert/cake so we can come back to mine after.

I don't have any hard and fast rules about what may or may not happen, but we have done snogging on the street, chemistry is there.

So I'm strangely nervous

Heehee literally back to yours for dessert, I like that Gaga!!

So Dimples asked me for second date....tomorrow night, when I already have the other first date! Argh. Said I had plans and offered an alternative night. Although they say never agree to a Fri/Sat date later than Wednesday, right? I had genuine reason. Goodness knows how some people ''play the game'' continuously, it's fairly mentally stressful!

Rollercola enjoy and welcome to the dating world :-)

oneday
I would have been inclined to say I was busy anyway, you don't want him thinking you are sat at home waiting for a man to rescue you

Yes dessert back at mine.. I haven't decided what to sodding make yet!