The Dating Thread 64

[unBant]

Here we go again...

So when are ye going out dontcallmehon??

Ooh - gosh, yesterday, if I had my way. Who wouldn't be tempted by such eloquence and wit...

I think they text speak would nearly turn me off more than the content.

Definitely. There's a guy on POF and Match who I have a real online chemistry with. We've been chatting for months. He wants to meet me. He's bright, funny, works in a similar field. But I don't fancy him and I never will. It's so annoying.

That's always the bloody way. Would it be worth one date? You might fancy him in real life.

He's 5'7 and I'm 5'6.5. I like heels. And I like to feel all delicate and girly and look up at a man.

I'm very short but love a tall man. I have a date with a 6'4 on Thursday. Woo hoo.

Oh - exciting! Hope it goes well. I love tall men too!

Won't be counting my chickens. Have only been chatting a few days. Like to get a meet up over and done with quickly. Can never tell if I like them until I meet.

What a charmer. A friend of mine once got a message saying ''hi I want 2 bum ur face off''. We have since debated at length as to how that goal might be achieved.

dontcallmehon I'm just wondering (realise this may sound judgy and I don't mean it to be) why would you carry on talking to someone for so long if you have decided it's not going anywhere?

I like him. Genuinely, as a friend.

Doesn't it make it difficult wearing heels if you work in a field, dontcallmehon? I would presume it would get difficult to walk.

I think chemistry is different to spark. Chemistry, for me at least, is the long conversations where you go 'oh, me too!', and find them fascinating and funny and you make each other laugh until you wee. Chemistry is where you just want to rip each others clothes off. You can have either one without the other.

Personally I don't want to keep seeing someone just because there is chemistry when I'm sure the person isn't right for me. I want a relationship with the simpatico thing, laughing, really liking the other person a lot, as well as chemistry. I generally don't go on second dates with someone if I don't like them a lot on the first one. I'm discriminating..

I'm only 5'10 and tend not to mail women who are taller than me. Women generally like to be enfolded, I think, and I like to enfold. It's an ego thing I guess.

Sorry, I meant spark is the long conversations with the laughing and the weeing and the me-too-ing. Chemistry is the ripping.

Is there quite a few women taller than you Bant?

Yes I agree with spark n chemistry being different. But I've been dates with guys where I'm sure I had the spark cos we got on really well although I myself didn't want to rip their clothes off I did really like them, but they haven't wanted a second date

Oh well got my date with me Gemini tonight...were chatting til 11.45 last night on what's app but then I went on this morning to send good morning message and noticed he was online til 12.15. Obviously chatting to others

Don't you hate that whatsapp tells you that!! Could be chatting to friends though :-) anyway, isn't it a good thing if someone is chatting to multiple people, it shows that they really are serious about looking for someone and putting the effort in.

Online dating is like a sweet shop, there is a tendency to look at what you've got now, and keep looking around to see if there is anything better, because it gets addictive, checking for messages, winks, new profiles etc.

But, if you haven't met Gemini yet, he's going to be not putting all his eggs in one basket either, he'll probably be talking to several people, and he's allowed to do that, it's natural (as far as anything online can be natural).

Even if you have met him, (I don't know if you've had a date already?) he's still probably going to be chatting to other people, and you're allowed to do that too. It's par for the course, otherwise you get all overinvested in one person, meet them, get disappointed, and it's back to the drawing board...

I've seen many posts on these threads where a woman has got weirded out by some bloke who says he wants to go exclusive after only one date, and a couple who said they'd stop looking for other people even before they'd met. That's a bit over the top.

Plus, he may have been chatting to friends on whatsapp, or just not have switched it off.. Trying to guess what's going on at this stage is the path to madness.

You can turn off the last seen thingy in what's app. Then people can't see when you were last online nor you them. Go into settings > chat settings> advanced. Gives you the option there.

Hello oh wise ladies of the dating world. I decided to go back on POF as sitting at home waiting for the man of my dreams to knock on my door just wasn't working .

So I'm chatting to this guy, his profile is interesting and he is easy to talk to.

We've chatted all evening for the past 3 nights. Due to circumstances we can't meet for a date for 2 weeks. My concern is that will we have entered the 'friend zone' by the time we meet? What if there is no chemistry when we meet? Should I keep the daily chats to a minimum or carry on getting to know him.

Also he has a really unusual name - Meriadoc, and I can't get my head around it. He says his mates call him Meri.

Opinions?

Are these circumstances down to your availability, or his, or both?

Talking for too long before a first date can lead to unrealistic expectations, and a letdown when you get on well but just don't fancy them. That happens a lot. I'd say keep chatting but keep your expectations of the date low if you can.

Thanks Bant your post makes a lot of sense to me! Yes it's true I've still chatted to others but I guess not with same eagerness. No we haven't met yet but have been chatting 2 weeks n phoning regularly. I guess he just see too good to be true

Ah well best get ready meeting at 4.30! Will update

Shybairns yes I been chatting to Gemini two weeks n feel like I know h really well now n will feel like I've lost a friend if we don't like each other tonight

Shybairns, we have a few very wise men too

Right!!!!! That's it, I've had it! I just can't stand anymore rejection. I had yet another nice date with a nice guy and I've not heard from him since. God damn it I am an not an unattractive woman. I'm well educated, I'm articulate, I've got a good job, I own my own property and car. I look after myself, I have my own friends and I'm sometimes witty. where on earth am I going wrong? I've asked myself if I come across as desperate and I don't think that's the case. Having no luck at all. I'm defeated. Does anyone have luck online dating?

@dontcallmehon.

I've had a look at your profiles & can't spot anything there. There is certainly nothing wrong with your photos & I wouldn't take too much notice of what your ex says.

Being from where you are (didn't want to publicise on here), I had a quick look at whats around men-wise in your area..... And there seems to be quite a few suspect blokes. EG: chally39, who's name is Craig and is a definate player that did the dirty on a friend of one my mates girlfriends. Classic talked about the next date etc etc and made her feel like she was the one until he got what he wanted, and then disappeared!

There is also another guy who drives a white porche and comes from your town. He's married to a lady called Christina and changes his profile names like his underwear! The constant though, is always the car. He tried it on with a friend and got no where, so went for another single lady who happened to know the first one (we live in a small town), and they set him up - apparently his face was a picture!

No doubt he will surface gain soon under yet another different identity, so watch out for anyone that says he will collect you in his white porche! Apparently he knows a lot about fuel injection too! Great topic of conversation for a first date there, not! :)

Anyway, best of luck & be safe....

Don'tcallmehon have you actually met POF guy in real life?

feelinlucky there is just no point mooning over people who don't contact you. It's not meant to be, if it was, something would be happening. OD allows for reams of nice dates. Yes some people have trouble knowing when they're on to a good thing due to the sweetshop syndrome, but the reality is lots of nice dates, with nice people where it's not going to go any further. There's a reason monogamy stands any chance of working: most of us don't actually meet that many people who we fancy, want to be involved in and have it reciprocated.