The Dating Thread 64

[unBant]

Here we go again...

Freckled and poff, you've made me feel a smidgen less anxious. I've been in two dates with whatsapp man and I'm hoping we will manage a third. We haven't got past a kiss on the cheek which I think is fine. I think we're both a bit reluctant to be vulnerable. He's been single as long as me and that's ten years! If we go out again I may try to be a bit more flirty. Poffed, I'd be telling him to poff off :) since may is just taking it too far :)

Bant, I did mean the completely generic in my rant. I think the way you do your message sounds great. It's nice to see that someone has actually read your profile. I do message guys first. Don't keep my pic up all the time so it would be tumbleweed if I didn't. I shall certainly wear the discrimination badge with pride. MM (those who are not separated) are a no no in my book.

Thick skin is definitely required. I was blessed with no fear of rejection. I realise I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea. Had a giggle lately at a guy who blocked me after I sent him a pic. Clearly I was going to keep messaging begging for him to take me out.

No harm in taking things slowly if you're happy with that pace. Can be hard bit knowing where you stand though. Fingers crossed freckled and poffed that it works out how you would like it to.

Poffed I would be beside myself if I'd been dating a guy I liked since May and he was still on POF!! But then again I would have asked what was going on prob in June I'm too impatient and would rather be rejected than hang around

It's true what Bant says some men will just try to get away with what they can

I didn't mean we would try to get away with whatever we can, it's that we don't necessarily see a need to change things when things are okay as they are.

Ah yes I believe that's true my ex hubby was like that. Had to literally sit him down n tell him I was unhappy about x and y before he made an effort to change it

Bahahahahahaha @ discriminating against a married man on a bloody DATING site!!! The mind boggles it really does.

Freckled - disappearing after 4 dates is highly rude, sorry that you're experiencing that. Hope one of the other dates lined up is good enough to distract you!

So I've heard nothing from Dimples (day 2 post-first-date) which has made be a me a bit considering the whole evening was great, got on really well, and the end-of-date lets do this again and then texts immediately afterwards, but I re-read our post-date text exchange and he was the last to reply, I could have replied with a goodnight as well but left him hanging. So maybe it is technically my turn to reply anyway, maybe I'm the one that hasn't contacted him. Hmm. I'm thinking I may text. Saying something like thanks again for the other night, had a great time, how's your week going? or the like. Whats the consensus, dating thread?

Oneday - just reply a bit apologetically, and see if he's on for another date. It's like Wimbledon, back and forth, with sooo many disappointments

Oneday, I'm day 2 too post second date. We had a lovely time but I won't be the least bit surprised if he doesn't contact me. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm a man repellant. I definitely won't be contacting him. I'm fed up trying now and getting close to giving up again. Last time I gave up for 5 years and I'm not getting any younger. I might feel differently after a good night sleep. Let us know if he contacts you? Or if you decide to contact him.

Who was it that wanted the profile looking over by the way? I'm free to do so if you PM me

Hello ladies. Quick question for you? I met a guy on POF we get on really well when we talk, text and have met up but I feel like I am chasing all the time its been about 3 weeks. He's not still on POF and I don't think he is a player but do I just give up chasing as he is just not that in to me or do you guys thing this is just men?

Well the many self help books I've read say let them chase you and if a man is interested he will make sure you know but who knows in the world of OD!!!

Sorry that's not much help faisey

Hi Bant, that was me - I've sent you a PM.

Well, I've arranged a date with a guy who, having taken a closer look at his profile, I'm pretty certain I won't like. He's too short and has a long list of turn offs in women which put me off. Things like: 'showing too much gum when they smile, too much bleach in hair...' Need to back out gracefully but not sure how!

I couldn't say. I'm a man, but I'm only one of three billion or so..

I would say to him 'right, when we met, I was lok

When you say chasing all the time what do you mean?

I don't feel like I just want a guy to chase me I do like things to be more equal, but there should be effort and clear interest from both sides.

Am dithering about texting. Agh.

I think if someone really wants to text, they will. The only way to know is to wait it out.

Oops. Damn phone

'When we met, I was looking to date but nothing serious. But you're really lovely and I didn't think I'd change my kind but I'm feeling a bit more serious.. If you want to keep seeing other people that's your choice, but I'd like us to just see how we get on together, see how things go'

Or something.

There is a woman I met over here in RL. We met, there was chemistry, we met again, we DTD, I saw her again and I've been busy a lot. I keep meaning to getting round to seeing her again but it wasn't right somehow. Her politics are odd (very right wing) she is just.. Not someone I want to talk to for long. Sleep with, yes, she's very attractive. So I don't call her. If she texts me I'd be tempted, but that's as far as it goes.

If I wanted a relationship, I'd text her.

I'd wait, if I were you.

Really Bant? Is that the way it is for men? So even if there's chemistry u still don't want more from her?

I'm not looking forward to my date as much now

In my experience, if you're asking questions about whether a man likes you enough, they don't. But I'm pretty jaded. I tend to have chemistry with the guys I meet. They want to sleep with me. They don't want a relationship.

Well the temptation has passed for tonight, anyhow, it's a bit late now for social texting. Hope you're not insinuating I have weird politics Bant ;-).

Will be very disappointed if this one disappears. Have another first date lined up for Friday though and started conversations with 2 more tonight. Keep on fishing until you land one eh.

Poffed, if he doesn't want to be exclusive, would you want to carry on how things are? Personally I reckon with conversations like these, its helpful if you know what outcome you want before you initiate. Good luck!

By the way as a woman I think I completely get what Bant is saying. I have in the past had definite fiery chemistry with guys that I would have no interest in a long term relationship with, the odd one I would negotiate a ''fwb'' relationship maybe (by that I mean it would not even involve social occasions, purely a late night phone call!). As I am now looking to meet people that I feel could turn into a real, long-term relationship, I wouldn't be interested in seeing just-fiery-chemistry people again, although may be sorely tempted for one thing only depending on my mood!

bant, that sounds very similar to the speech I have floating around in my head... It's just the delivering of it that i'm having a problem with ... (I only singled you out for your opinion on being confronted with your online usage seeing as you had mentioned earlier about speaking up but not in a pushy way)..
Oneday... That is a very good point! Can't help thinking the reason I'm stalling asking the question is because I'm scared to hear the answer, whichever one that may be! Maybe I should enjoy what we have and not push anything yet.. I know how you're feeling about wanting to text and reckon one more bright and breezy text from you wouldn't do any harm...he could be thinking the same thing as you especially seeing as he was the last to text

Oh for God's sake. Got this message: 'U R the sexyist lukin woman i have ever seen on this site. id luv 2 date u.'