Bloody H looking at porn on pc

[wotafarce]

Am so mad; he knows I don't approve. I know he uses it, he has done for years but he always makes sure the history is deleted.

Just found some that he's looked at today and it was she-male stuff FFS amongst 'normal' porn. Usually it's 'asian babes'.
Wtf is that all about?

He's very techy and there's nothing in the folders on the pc (that I can see). Nothing on the history or temp internet files either, yet this stuff is on the recently changed files of both his & MY profile (which is how I found it when looking for one of my docs).

I feel like printing the stuff and posting it to everyone who thinks he's a nice chap. Fatheaded Twat that he his.

I'm willing to bet that your kids would choose to live with you, wotafarce. They may be more aware of what a wanker (sorry) your DH is than you realise.

AnyFucker, why thank you. I am and proud of it, there is bonkers, nice and bonkers nasty. My husband is the nasty variety, he looks and plays the part of the greasiest porn star with the grace and finesse of a Liverpool docker. He thinks he's got it all, probably has but that would take a trip to the STD clinic.

Lucca

Lucca! Funny.

I don't think being 'meh' about a partner's porn use is an ok ethical position.
It's very hard for porn users to be sure that absolutely none of the women they're watching have been trafficked or coerced. Unless they are taking provenance very seriously and have enough understanding of the industry to be absolutely certain, most porn users are likely to be either naïve, in denial or not giving a shit about this.
It's one thing to be chilled about your partner getting off thinking about other women. Fine, you're confident he fancies you, it doesn't bother you, that's cool. But porn means actual women being filmed so this isn't something that only involves the two of you.

I just asked DD who is 25 about this, she would be disgusted if her partner was watching pornography and said it probably would be a deal breaker.

Yep, my DD is 23 and says the same, but then she's got a father who isn't a porn user and is a supporter of feminism.

Same here BelaLugosi.

reeling & Bela, you are both to be congratulated on raising daughters who would not tolerate porn use.

I am delighted to find we are getting to a stage where women can stand up and say porn is a deal breaker.

Less than a year ago I posted an issue relating to husband using poem and whilst I got some lovely supportive replies., I also got asked if I was shagging him enough and had I lost my baby weight?

Times are changing now, I can feel it...

I agree Lily, I'm glad that OP herself is adamant and that she has gotten support. Obviously this relationship has other problems too, but women really shouldn't have to accept porn use.

I'm pleased I don't have to be a'weird' minority for being against all the porn industry stands for now either. OP I wouldn't think you are showing dcs a good example living with a man you don't like, they are old enough to know whats going on in your marriage and they will understand. Mine told me to leave him for years. they weren't stupid and both say I'm easier to get on with since we split.

You're probably right cjel, but that's the way it is for now.

I have no doubt I'll leave once the DC do.

If you would want your children to take it up as a profession then it makes it ok. My husband would say, well it's their choice - it shouldn't be a choice in the first place.

I understand WOT, Hope you don't think I'm being critical of your choice, I have been where you are and just wanted to let you know the alternative isn't as hard or bad as you think.

Thanks, if I could get over my not wanting to admit defeat I'd be able to do it.

Sounds pathetic but he has an extremely overbearing supportive family, me less so and a bit of me doesn't want him to sail off into the sunset and be happy when he's been a pita for years.
I want him to feel rubbish and not be able to bugger up someone else's life.

That makes me sound a right miserable old bag, doesn't it?!

I used to be a bit non-thinking/non commital about porn until I learnt more about it. You only have to read up a tiny bit about the industry to realise how bad it is. Even the "women friendly" stuff. My DH has certainly watched it the past. He doesn't now (at least as far as can possibly know without stalking him) but we have a dd and have discussed it. He was heading up the diversity committee at work and really trying to get to grips with the feminist stuff I helpfully feed him.

Porn aside though Wot, he sounds like a total abusive arse. I would not want to be with him. Sod his family.

look at it yourself it's as much available to women as to men. i don't really get why women have to feel bad for accessing porn as men do.

Southeastastra - are you telling me to look at it?!!! Have you read the thread? I make no distinction between the sexes, porn is sleazy, and morally corrupt and anyone who uses it is a loser imo.

I would feel worse tbh SEA. I have seen porn in the past and not had the vapours. But I look at my pre-teen and not cannot imagine any possible scenario where I would think it acceptable that she could be in anything like even the mild things I have seen. It just would not. I hope to bring her up with a view that that any job is more worthwhile than having your body exploited for money in that way.

Anyone who is ambiguous on this only need think on how happy they would be for their own children to do it,.

So, the most vocal anti-porn protesters just need to watch some and all would be well ?

Yeah, that'll do it

TBH when I watched porn many moons ago it looked liked a televised wrestling match.....fake & cringeworthy. I sniggered through it like a teenager and was so turned off by it I just couldn't have sex afterwards.
I can't believe people actually find it a turn on.