Reaction to men and women on here

[Treen44444]

From reading threads on here, you tend to get differing attitudes, outrage, advice, on similar threads depending on whether its a woman or a man. For example:
Scenario:
On a post about a husband not being keen on sex at the moment. The woman started giving him oral, he wasn't enthused and it didn't go any further.
Responses:
He is a lazy lover/he should have said no/get rid of him.

A similar post where roles are reversed:

Responses:
You didn't say yes/you may have been raped/you shouldn't feel pressured in to sex/you don't owe him anything.

Scenario:
My husband is ignoring me.

Response:
He is withholding communication this is a form of EA. leave him.

Scenario:
Im not talking to my husband. I'm scared he will kick off if I tell him how I feel. (A valid reason for not communicating).

Response:
This is EA, leave him.

Scenario:
I want to leave my husband.

Responses:
Plan/organise/don't tell him/check finances/speak to solicitor, etc.

Scenario:
My husband left me. I've received legal documentation.

Response:
That's awful/it seems premeditated/he's been planning this behind your back.

The above are summaries and just examples. What I really want to know is whether you think if two sides of the same argument wrote in they would get conflicting advice(scenarios like above, not extreme cases)? Whether you would get fairer advice if you were non gender specific in your thread set up? Whether different sexes should get differing advice? Are some people too bitter to give a fair assessment?

Treenie's joining up coincided with a couple of MRA types from reddit posting on an FWR thread. Their posts were as nonsensical on that thread too.

Best ignored.

Sab - what are you suggesting?

Oh this is really just another wah! Waaah! Women are not automatically treating men as their superiors. Women are ignoring men! The sky will fall in! type thread.

And repeat.

DarkesteyesSat 14-Sep-13 00:30:50

Treen what im saying is there is NO bias. Men and women are mostly treated the same on here from what ive seen
There was a woman who posted a thread a while back "I dont want sex how can i keep my husband" and she got bloody roasted on here.

I was also accused of hijacking the linked thread even though
a. i had experienced the same thing as the OP.
b. i wasnt the one who brought up prostitutes and paying for sex.

Ergo......wheres the bias?

Solid - read the thread. It's not that. If you think it is then it pretty much backs up my position

Just been in mse for first time in AGGEEEESSSSS.

Here is an old thread I think it was the first one i posted on on there.

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2690837&highlight=is+this+miserly+or+just+moneysaving

And how does this back up your position Treen.

There was a woman who posted a thread a while back "I dont want sex how can i keep my husband" and she got bloody roasted on here.

Dark - that's fine. It's a discussion. I'm not trying to convince you. I said my observations. You say there is no bias. Great

Dark - it wouldn't if the genders were reversed and the responses were the same. I was saying to solid that their post backed it up

Do you think the response you got mse was wrong? Or do you think it gives you licence?

Dark - was the woman that didn't want sex called abusive?

Sabrina Mulholland was ABSOLUTELY RIGHT Hiding thread.

Oh and just before i do You are a gaslighter OP Just so you know!

Don't answer the questions if you don't want to.

Dark - what is troubling you about the conversation and the topic? I apologise if you ar offended. I don't see why though. I think we disagree.
I'll ask back on thread,
Do you think there is or isn't a bias? And is bad, good, helpful, unhelpful?

You are so a man no way would a woman write like this

" Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support."
Did you read this treen?

Why on earth you think this is even vaguely appropriate on the relationships topic I don't know.

This should be in site stuff.

The fact it is in relationships betrays it's true purpose is to undermine support.

I don't need to link to threads btw because I am responding with my opinion to your thread. You however have repeatedly stated (incoherent) opinions as though they are facts. You need to understand that you are making damaging accusations which seek to undermine the support vulnerable women get on here.

If you don't think it is all that important and you are just casually making a point I would expect you ODFOD.

Oh and I remember you you were the one who helpfully posted "have you put on weight?" On a thread about lack of sex...

It appears the rest of your MN career has been meddling in feminism...

Suspicious ain't it that you seem to consistently target areas of MN which threaten male supremacy...

If not a man then definitely a MRA

Treen....haven't read the whole (rather tedious) thread but are you a man?? Are you relatively new to mn? Have you ever posted for advice on relationships board? Have you ever used another name???

And seriously who are you to set themselves up as arbiter of what is OK on MN?

That one comment you made "have you put on weight?" Is one of the worst and most damaging things I've read on here.

You have been around on here for how long? A week?

I've been here around 5 years under various names. You haven't had long enough to form a valid opinion. You're just a trouble maker hoping to fly under the radar by being subtle and passive aggressive.

Haven't read all replies, but Treen are you someone who thinks that women have achieved equality with men now?

Can you imagine being so distraught about your own relationship that you end up posting about it on the internet to a bunch of strangers? Can you appreciate that if you were in an abusive relationship you may have already considered your partner's feelings and perspective, far more than you should have to the extent that you lose sight of yourself and what you need? In situations like that this forum is so useful in having a female bias. It's very much needed.

This thread needs to be moved out of the relationship section

I interested to understand why you started this thread?

do you think replies should be moderated, so they are not gender biased? Do you want your POV affirmed? Are you looking to have your mind changed?

thousands of people use MN. If you don't like a site its usual just to go find one that you do

most importantly, why do you think this thread is appropriate in this location?

Well, just wow. I went to sleep and then woke up to a thread that has become even more nonsensical and inconsistent.

It is not gender that informs responses it is experience. To suggest that one gender will react to similar experience in the same way is stupid.