Reaction to men and women on here

[Treen44444]

From reading threads on here, you tend to get differing attitudes, outrage, advice, on similar threads depending on whether its a woman or a man. For example:
Scenario:
On a post about a husband not being keen on sex at the moment. The woman started giving him oral, he wasn't enthused and it didn't go any further.
Responses:
He is a lazy lover/he should have said no/get rid of him.

A similar post where roles are reversed:

Responses:
You didn't say yes/you may have been raped/you shouldn't feel pressured in to sex/you don't owe him anything.

Scenario:
My husband is ignoring me.

Response:
He is withholding communication this is a form of EA. leave him.

Scenario:
Im not talking to my husband. I'm scared he will kick off if I tell him how I feel. (A valid reason for not communicating).

Response:
This is EA, leave him.

Scenario:
I want to leave my husband.

Responses:
Plan/organise/don't tell him/check finances/speak to solicitor, etc.

Scenario:
My husband left me. I've received legal documentation.

Response:
That's awful/it seems premeditated/he's been planning this behind your back.

The above are summaries and just examples. What I really want to know is whether you think if two sides of the same argument wrote in they would get conflicting advice(scenarios like above, not extreme cases)? Whether you would get fairer advice if you were non gender specific in your thread set up? Whether different sexes should get differing advice? Are some people too bitter to give a fair assessment?

What I really want to know is whether you think if two sides of the same argument wrote in they would get conflicting advice(scenarios like above, not extreme cases)? They would get different advice from different people. If they had an agenda they would discount the advice they didn't't like as being from bitter people.

Whether you would get fairer advice if you were non gender specific in your thread set up? The advice would be different and varied as posters here are different and varied

Whether different sexes should get differing advice? every situation is different. Sometimes a person's sexuality/ gender makes the advice they need different

Are some people too bitter to give a fair assessment? sure, some people might be but that dosn't mean all the people who give the same advice are doing so because they are bitter.

Does that help at all?

Beer - The sad fact is that a fair proportion of men who arrive on MN expect bells and whistles and bunting to herald their arrival

That is more gender based than what I am asking. I've asked about gender bias is helpful. This question isn't attacking its just asking if its helpful?

Duelling- that's your answer. One of the most helpful answers. Would you expect the same response from a conservative predominant website, or Muslim website? And therefore unable to make an overall judgement or overall perception of that forum?

Best not to feed this one until MNHQ investigates.

Sorry poor examples

Fran - investigated what?

I think you are wrong to compare gender and religious fundamentalism.

In general (and I have been on MN for about 6 years holy shit I really am getting old) the responses posters get depend on what they post. A lot of the time someone posting about a partner's upsetting or annoying behaviour is asked for more information. An awful lot of the time 'reverse' OPs are spotted because someone pretending to be the 'bad person' can't back it up with proper reasoning. Also, people posting about their partners' 'unreasonableness' when it's something that comes across as really peculiar or unexpected may get asked for clarification and then the backstory comes out...

I said bad examples. I wouldnt compare all Muslims to fundamentalists either though

Solid - I agree. They may get asked

I agree. I had to stop reading the relationship board because I found it became extremely grating. Here was one thread which shocked me to the core in the reaction it got, a female poster saying she didn't get enough sex. The responses were awful about her poor husband and yet men posting in the same topic invariably get told they aren't doing enough housework or whatever.

Harder i suggest you read this thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1844308-Slept-with-someone-else-after-years-of-sexless-relationship-with-DP-Need-perspective

Beer - I've not spoken about research? I've set up a discussion topic. Not good or bad, just a discussion. Some people enjoy the bias. Some see it and don't mind. Some see it and aren't keen. Some don't see it at all.

What is your view? Is there any? Is it good, bad or neither?

Oh, I remember a recent thread where a poster was upset about the sex he wasn't getting. Turned out he was getting it at least once a week even though his wife wasn't that keen on it. The difference between what he posted in his OP and what was actually happening was remarkable.

Dark eyes - isn't that link more obvious if you think marriage shouldn't be cheated on? What would the response be if it was a man? We can't know, but do you think the same?

Oh not again.

Look I've got no intention of coming back to this pile of wank after this post, but please STOP linking some poor woman's support thread on this one. It's just not fair. Her thread already makes no bloody sense with all the deletions and she abandoned it over a week ago because it got hijacked. Let's not add to the offence eh?

I notice the BJ thread was posted by either a Namechanger or a new poster.

OP, all forums have demographics, norms etc.MN is predominantly female and that probably won't change. Does it matter?

Duelling - what was a actually happening?

Inclined to think Frabcescabell is absolutely correct.

Moderate - it doesn't matter at all. I'm just observing and think it may bias, I have done it, and may affect relationships and kids. It may end ones that need ending which is great. However, if the playing field is skewed it may affect impressionable people or put unnecessary doubt in people's minds

But in comparison to what, Treen?

I don't think there's any forum where men and women equally give advice on relationships.

And women who post here know that mainly women will respond and presumably are seeking that.

Moderate - it's not about equal numbers of men and women posting. It's about trying to leave your gender out of your posts. So a scenario merits a response. Not a response depending on where the genders fall within it.