Well that was the world's weirdest 'affair' ...

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

So an old flame got in touch a few years ago and we've met up a couple of times since, texted occasionally (think months going by) and had the odd conversation by phone. He's married with grown-up kids and probably (certainly) didn't tell DW about our friendship.... So this morning I get the 'I've decided to make a go of it with my wife' text. WTAF? Suddenly I'm not only the OW, I'm dumped, and I never even got my leg-over!

Corgito has been having an emotional affair!!!

what hope for us mere mortals

next we'll find AF has gone off with a 18 year old and Charbon and Dahlen are having a 'thing' between them.

Oo, though in drama-plot-twist way, I wonder if he is having an affair, and his wife wants evidence that he's broken it off, so he showed her the text he sent you...

[Hurriedly writes a Mills&Boon.]

Sadly onefewernow, knowing this man as I do, mind-games are far too interesting to even appear on his radar. He falls in the category of the earnest, deep-thinking, nerd. Massively intelligent and successful but emotionally clueless.

Its an ego thing...some men like to think they're irresistible and fending off women, but too moral to actually cheat. I know one guy who I never even kissed, who thinks I'm an ex girlfriend. In fact, just look at the number of people who have never actually met in real life but only online, who write to problem pages about their "relationships".

My friend recently had one of those as well with a man at work. His live-in girlfriend did all sorts of weird stuff to try and make them cut off contact, when in actual fact she found him completely unfanciable, was happily married and had never even exchanged one remotely risqué test message with him.

I think SPB's suggested reply is an excellent one. I wouldn't be happy about being dragged into this.

Mmmm, emotionally clueless - sounds familiar lol.

What a big headed git to even assume you would or thought there was anything other than friendship going on - twat.

I'd reply but I'm all packed and ready to move in, dont you love me?

He wants to be weird so you be weird

Actual lol.

And make him a lurve CD!

A mix tape with just 'Never gonna give you u' and 'achey brakey heart' on it

This happened to someone I know. She got dumped very publicly by this guy who then stormed off. He was very upset that she had been talking to another man at a party we were all at. He thought she had disrespected the love that had been growing between them. She thought he'd given her a lift as it was on his way.

True story. Very, very weird.

" Corgito has been having an emotional affair!!!"

... suggests some kind of conscious involvement. Personally, I've been 'having' a chat with a friend (usually about his job... dead sexy, eh?) and he seems to have been the one 'having' the affair. I didn't even get a bunch of flowers!

In fact, just give us his address, we'll do all the hard work of tapes, cards, teddy bears holding balloons etc.

I have had 2 exes contact me via facebook/linked in etc to ask 'do you remember [a particular shag]'

I'm so tempted to reply that a) no I don't and b) I've just sent this to your wife.

But I just ignore them. Twats

SP that's funny. Yep, that's the text.

Excellent! You had an emotional affair, and didn't notice!

Seriously, that's hilarious. Do you suppose he's been sighing weightily over your texts and pondering whisking you off to a New Life?

I'm with Mad. I have free time to do all this. I could pretend me and him are now together then dump him

Or text him with song lyrics

'If you leave me now, you'll take away the highest part of me'

I'll fight you for him!

I (33, married for 13 years, 4 kids) once had a text from the sister of a friend (21, lives 300 miles away, had met her twice) breaking off our relationship, which up until that point had only consisted of arranging her sisters hen do and the occassional 'how are you' text afterwards.

As it turned out, from an apologetic call the next day, her girlfriend had found a load of smutty texts with my name on them, she had been having an affair and had used my name in her phone thinking her girlfriend would never read messages from me. She had 'broke up' with me using my actual number so the other woman didn't know. It was a total mess.

I was quizzed for weeks about this affair, I'm still not entirely convinced my friend believes the truth tbh, thankfully dh did. I was not amused. All of the hassle with none of the fun you have my sympathy.

Ooh I think whoever said you ar a cover story for his real affair is on to something.....

Can I add to the mix tape:

You're so vain by carly simon
Everything about you by ugly kid joe
And (just to completely throw him) the you and me song by the wannadies

X post with angels

" Do you suppose he's been sighing weightily over your texts and pondering whisking you off to a New Life?"

You have to wonder, don't you? Although it does nothing at all for my vanity to imagine that he pondered the whisking but then decided against it. To quote Adrian Edmondson after he won Masterchef last week, 'I've spent most of my life being second'.

Aw, sorry Cog. Here:

Thanks.

I had a mate of my neighbours add me on FB. He spoke for a day and he already asked me to be in a relationship with him and we should announce it on FB. When I told him he was weird he messaged saying "well we wont work out if you think that"

I deleted and blocked him after that and he told the neighbour I was weird because all he wanted was a relationship and I was playing games Loon.