Dating Thread 63- disappearers, wedding bells and dodgy eye candy, all are welcome

[hostesswithleastest]

Oops that title may have put off newcomers :D

Anyway.... the old thread is dead long live the new!

Luis - interesting username :)

OKCupid is free and works better than POF in terms of showing you who is potentially a better match, based upon the questions people answer. That doesn't mean that someone who is a 95% match will be attractive, or there will be a spark, but it's more likely you'd have things in common than with someone who is a 30% match. It works as a decent filter anyway. People say there are more polyamorous people on there than POF but I think that may just be the fact that people answer that kind of question up front on OKC, whereas on POF you wouldn't necessarily find out until you're chatting to someone, or they introduce their wife on your 4th date with them..

As to homeowning - well I rent two places and I'm relatively financially secure, I've got a deposit for a place and a mortgage approved, I'm just looking for the right house and not rushing into it, having split from my ex last year. And I have a car. People may screen me out for not owning a house, but then I'd think (personally) they'd be making sweeping judgements. Someone could say they own a house but struggle to make the payment every month and be deep in credit card debt, someone else could rent but have a decent pension and investments, a great credit score and just be between houses for the short term. It's not the best way to screen out unless you know the details

Hi Cake, I'm just turned 50, have one pretty rubbish photo (I hate having my photo taken). I've had a lot of online dates, most have been a good evening out even if I didn't fancy them.
I may possibly definitely have done a little 'casual' dating last year with one or 3 mid 30's which was fun and what I needed at the time
Felt ready for a relationship this year, dated an architect for 3 months but it wasn't working for me, now dating a very lovely academic. Both of them were mid 40s though (I'm told I don't look 50 either).

Only thing I would say is that a lot of people (men and women, including me) filter up to a few years older, so may set filters to 49. I tended to message those I was interested in (although both the 'relationship' types messaged me first). I was on POF for the casual dating, but met better people I had more in common with on OKC (both the architect and academic messaged me because we were a 90%+ match and nothing to do with the answers that said I was a wanton sex fiend)

Quick update, few texts back and forth last night, and he asked me if I'd like to go out again, said I would although no firm plans.

What would you suggest for a second date, I was thinking a walk, and drink?

I do agree with some men just growing on you, I seem to fall for men at work, but only after I've known the, for a while and I like them.

Anyone got a date this weekend?

Thanks Bant. Why is username "interesting"

Interesting what's being said about screening - I guess I am doing this but not in terms of home ownership, just not living with parents or unemployed.

I just started a profile Bant, it's a wee bit daunting

We provide a free profile advisory service on the thread. PM someone your username and site, more than one person for a range of feedback :)

Hmm not sure about that! But I have done it. Some of the questions are rather intense

just ignore the ones you don't want to answer. But getting someone else's perspective on your description and photos can be helpful.

Don't worry, I'll bow out if you don't want a bloke looking you over before you're happy with it :) I'd recommend asking one of the other posters on here though.

Hey everyone how's it going?

Well I'm thoroughly fed up tonight, been staying at my mums for nearly 3 weeks now while decorating my new place and it's driving me mad! I hate not having my own space and I'm bored out of my brains!!!

Cake, I am !!!
I suppose at least he was honest?

I'm enjoying reading here a bit more regularly now I've taken the plunge and posted! I feel like I'm really gaining from your experiences... obviously I wish everyone had only positive ones, but reading the weird and wonderful ones stops me falling into the trap of "is it just me?" !!

Had my first OD date! We did a pub quiz at my local, lots of laughs, he came back, seemed to be having fun. Certainly at 3am when he was still there and his hand was on my knee I thought "ooooh, he likes me!"

But it hasn't turned into a second date. To be honest, I think that staying over on a first date was too much for him. No sex (we agreed that) and he was actually the cuddly one in the morning. But it was clear in our conversations that I'm more comfortable moving up a gear sexually quickly than him. He said he'd never kissed on a first date (has had lots) and I was more (in my head) "that's not kissing on a first date, no tongues!". So even though we had a lovely time, I think we're on different pages. To be quite honest, even though he was the more physical (because I was hanging back) I think he was scared off /put off by me saying in the right circumstance, I'm happy to move things along physically quickly.
Sort of a shame, cos we had a lovely night - but I'm not chasing him. He suggested second date, I said yes with an activity suggestion, he hasn't been back in touch.

Either scared him off, or he simply met someone he liked more.

Anyway... Sorry that's long! Tuesday I had a builder come to fit a window, and he was very chatty, and like something out of a bad porn movie I made a pass at him (in the evening, via text) and we seem to be dating now!

So there's my tip people: get work done on your house :)

Good luck everyone!

I didn't know there was a profile feedback service on this thread!!! How did I miss that??

I think I need some - I can't seem to attract the kind of guys I would like to. Would anyone be wiling to help please?

TIA

May I join you? Long time lurker who has learnt so much from this thread and grown a thick skin in the process.

Had my first OD date last week with Finance Guy, but his photo was years old and he'd clearly fibbed about his age. Nice bloke, but not for me. Next! See I've got the hang of it already

Have a lunch time first date with The Salesman next week and chatting to a number of seemingly nice guys so all good fun so far.

Well - I've had three dates set up this week, all of which I've cancelled. I just can't bring myself to meet up with guys who I feel a bit meh about for no good reason except I feel a bit meh.

I suppose they're on the receiving end of what I so often feel frustrated about .

Welcome time!

Hiding - thanks for the tip I think I may join OKC too, it can't hurt! I'm glad you have been so successful.

Cabrinha - yes, a few of my friends have said the same thing, although I'm not sure if he was being extremely honest or extremely stupid!

Anyway I'm hoping things can only improve, no dates planned for next week but I am chatting to a few nice men. Although given my last date I should maybe reserve judgement for now.........

Hi all. my dad rekons I should ditch pof for a website where I should have to pay like match etc. What do you all rekon?

Cabrinha
I'm going to start going through the yellow pages tomorrow then, sod pof!

Fireman text back suggesting second date, but it looks like earliest date would be ten days or so, I can't be bothered, just not that taken by him.

Oh well

Can I ask what men want in the OD messages that women send them?

I get quite a few men initiating contact with me, and I reply to some and there's some information sharing and jolly banter, and then it just seems to get boring (from my side an d theirs).

What are men hoping women will say? What sets the interesting ones apart from the rest?

Still trying to get the hang of this

Time - that's like me saying 'what do women want to order for dinner?' You'll have a connection with some guys, some you won't. There's no set topic.

Yes, I know you're right unBant - was hoping for the secret script that would make me irrisistable

Hello everyone,
Different sites seem to work better for different people, I don't think the paid ones are an improvement given my forays into Match and Guardian Soulmates, both of which were utterly shite for me.
I do like OKC, I generally skipped most of the sex questions though and answered a handful privately, however this still seems to have had me labelled as something like 80% more kinky than average, a fact which has been mentioned by a number of men who've got in touch with me and had I realised that was going to feature on my profile, I might have been more cautious.

I went on my most enjoyable OD date ever on Friday night, usually even if I quite like them by the time I've spent an hour in their company I'm so tired of being sociable with a stranger that I make my excuses and leave. We're supposed to be seeing each other again at the beginning of October, all the usual caveats apply ...

Welcome Cabrinha and Time!

Kin that is great news about Friday's date.

Gaga disappointing about fireman but if you weren't that taken with him then move on to the next one.

Superstar I tried match last year but most were on POF anyway. You can browse sites like match for free, have a look and see if there's anyone that takes your fancy before paying. I agree with the others that OKC is good but it seems to work best in cities. I live in a London suburb, when I searched near home I didn't find anyone decent but there was a much better choice in London.

I had a spontaneous, last minute date with the detective last night, it was lovely! He came over to my house and we watched crap tv and chatted for hours, very enjoyable. We had our first kiss too, yay! I am all smiley and floaty today! We are going out on wed for our first alcohol fuelled date, should be interesting!

Thanks Bant, got registered and lots of interest! Quite enjoying this

Hi, can I join? I had a lovely, lovely boyfriend but we split a bit back and I haven't got round to looking out.

Met a nice man online, he took me somewhere quite fun a bit ago, and we both chose somewhere to meet up last week, all fun: on Monday, got an email saying he'd had to end it. So back chatting with people and trying to avoid dirty old trolls on websites. Any tips?

Aaaaaargh. So pof was going surprisingly well. Until I clicked on a profile that turned out to be one of the dad's from nursery I see all the time.

*dies!

Hello everyone