Dating Thread 63- disappearers, wedding bells and dodgy eye candy, all are welcome

[hostesswithleastest]

Oops that title may have put off newcomers :D

Anyway.... the old thread is dead long live the new!

Oh Western wind; yes I have another lined up this Sunday! There was a chemistry between us. Im going to rate the last one on POF and mention that he's charming but uses it to get what he wants!

I think the pressure came from the fact that he wanted to drive me home (Apparently because I then wouldn't have to faff around with the bus.) , also charm offensive and when we went for a drink he wanted to know if I wanted to finish his beer too (nothing to do with wanting to get me pissed he said!) I declined. He actually wanted me to pour his beer into my cider thus making snakebite which is very strong. I think it was all part of his plan. Hope to come back with some more positive stories soon.

49 CONGRATS!!! Sorry so delayed to congratulate, but busy here keeping my head above water & dealing with shxxhead STBXH divorce issues.
Super live & learn. Your early description of him suggests a player. They are so good with all the moves, touching, seeming interested in you, etc, as well as the not so nice stuff like encouraging you to drink, innuendos, etc. on the one hand, suave is nice, on the other, it can be phoney.

Oh yes ; congratulations to 49 too. Positive stories= good!

Another red flag; he cross examined me on my sex life, asked me when my last date was, last shag etc, was I wild in bed. It did kind of turn me on in a wierd way but was intrusive in hindsight.

Last night I went to a bar and coincidentally watched the guys who have paid 2000 euros for a training course on how to chat women up. I was with some female friends who volunteered to act as bait to judge them (without them knowing) so I could satisfy my and their curiosity, and compare them to other non-trainees. Just, you know, for scientific research purposes.

I'll cogitate and write a summary later :)

Yes redflag there Superstar, I think if people turn the conversation around to ape some Cosmo quiz it's pretty clear what their intentions are. Which is pretty handy to be honest whatever your intention.

Why do I bite when people whinge about their bad dating luck, why? I need to learn from you wiser heads and stay clear of the blind.

Also, I agree with you completely. But I shall. Not. Comment.

I think it's good to give those having bad luck constructive advice and support. TBH it is hard to find someone who is lovely and very sexy.

Just treat it as free entertainment Stranger in the manner of a bad Elvis impersonator down the local - stare and wonder for a while, but don't get sucked into duetting to 'Love me tender' and move swiftly on to the next pub for a nice quiet pint.

Superstar

I'd be a bit worried if I was asked about my sex life on a first date, mind you Mr car knew about mine before we met !

Well after fretting all day I got a text saying sorry he left his fone on side after getting up late, plus a text saying good luck for my maths exam in the am.

Note to self kitty need to relax
Kitty to relax
Kitty to relax

Is it working ?

Am very interested in your research Bant and quietly hoping that the chat up techniques didn't work are these students of the guy you met a few months ago who was trying to give you some tips?

Loads of good luck for your exam Kitty! Hope you're having a nice relaxing evening in preparation.

Superstar that sense of all sorts of boundaries being crossed with hindsight is one I know well.

It has happened on at least three occasions since I've ODing in slightly different ways, whether it's being 'seduced' with alcohol or words. Each time I convinced myself it was ok to go along with it, because it was exciting and not really wanting to resist that feeling of being so alluring

On each occasion, it was only dissecting the shag date with all wise folk on here that it dawned on me how far I'd been played and how I had ignored missed a whole red army of flags.

If only I could guarantee it won't happen again, but sometimes the libido just won't be ignored!

Western

Lay in bed trying not to panic , I have a 2 hour trip to the interview that only half hour away as job center won't pay for car travel x

Nice bath, music, good book, posting on here - dowhatever works as a bit of pleasant distraction Kitty to pass the evening. I'm sure it will all go well. Fingers crossed for you.

There's one tip I'm trying to work out.. Apparently it works on 90% of women. Or at least 90% of those who are out on the pull, or looking to be pulled, so to speak.

'Spill some beer on them'

I'm not quite sure how that works. Apparently it does.

Any explanation? Or recollections of this happening?

The students seemed to be generally successful incidentally. Not sure about the 5'2" Indian bloke but he was charming some tall blonde woman for a good 20 minutes whilst some drunken English blokes on a stag do looked on in awe..

WHAT!? I think I've been played.

Although I'm sure the most dramatic beer spillage incident was an accident.

I can also confirm that as a woman, spraying Prosecco on yourself works a treat, but it's such an obvious move .

I have had beer spilled on me. I've thought, "Oh, some drunken arse has spilled beer on me" and not "Ravish me now, you gorgeous hunk of beer-spilling loveliness".

Must be in the 10%.

ha ha at pulling coach! all seems like an exercise in expensive futility to me! like selling snow to eskimos!

i reckon unless a guy is an absolute smelly hobo as long as he's professionalish and not REALLY terrible socially he can get some female attention, especially where drinks are involved.

and not to mention its all "locationally" quite in their favour anyway, the somewhat geeky chaps i know (who are fairly overlooked in say Central London) who have gone to work in poorer parts of the world have literally had women come up to them and offer them threesomes.

my (not very attractive) ex wasn't even into the "bar scene", especially as he was married to me when he was working abroad! but he still got local staff offering to "introduce" their beautiful daughters to him, cutie pie air hostesses in 1st class offering numbers!

and to me there's a difference between a man who can "get" sex (which seems a rather twee way of putting it, as with the Pill and modern work schedules most women who aren't religious and like to experiment just to check the pipework is in order) and "get" some dates and someone who can actually long term keep a woman with options happy and interested and going out of her way to make him her man? you can't get that with "tricks".

Lorna - the point was that they're looking for sex, not girlfriends. And the tricks work.

Whilst I think it's a bit desperate and sordid, they're being taught to dress better, be more confident and interesting and, yes, not smell like a hobo. And they approach very attractive women and take them home.

It was interesting to see the trainees - some relatively plain, some attractive, be of far more interest to the women they were chatting to than the more attractive blokes in the bar who were just standing with their mates, drinking beer and ogling from a distance. These were men who couldn't make eye contact at the beginning of the week.

Obviously these things are unlikely to turn into long term relationships but they're not looking for one. Or at least not at the moment.

Argh my post keeps failing. Would you go on a date with someone you suspect you have little in common with?

Probably not Ham but it depends. If we had the same sense of humour but wildly different hobbies I would. Same interests but different backgrounds I would. Vastly different politics and values I think I'd struggle with. And if nothing about them pointed to them being my type of person I wouldn't bother. Do you think you have any overlap?

It's all to do with confidence, isn't it Bant? I actually feel quite sorry for men in these situations because the onus is often on them to approach, try the chat-up, risk rejection which needs a healthy amount of self-confidence to make it work. So if the chat-up coaching is tips on how to dress, open a conversation, feel more self-confident etc then that's great. I just don't like the emphasis on pick-up sex that seems to be the ultimate aim of the exercise.

Ham well it would depend. Do you mean he likes RnB and you like metal or more fundamental differences?

Well I don't think we have much in common culturally/intellectually maybe though I'm making big assumptions. He's a truck driver - not me judging or anything I just don't know what to think really...