Dating thread 62 .. All welcome

[Kirstywirsty]

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop
8. loo update is mandatory

Nora I do love him and I think he was fairly serious about me when we were together

(pretty much a monogamous "type", works all hours in military and also in family business, and unlike Miss Lorna Looseknickers here, doesn't really date for sport or attention or "just out of curiosity or boredom" like I do ).

But we'll have to see in 6 months time ... I personally think it's easier saying "let's be in touch at Christmas and meet when it's practical" rather than try and keep something going long distance? (also I need to concentrate on my own work/move stuff, and I don't have the emotional support spare for someone in what is quite a stressful job)

Winefiend

...6'4 of throbbing masculinity, with eyes of azure blue, he picked me up in his strong arms, which are used to carrying either baby animals, or weapons, and whispered....

Lorna, it sounds OK, you are not putting all your eggs in one basket and the contact seems to be healthy.

I've gone 5 days now off the nicotine. Will admit to having a helping hand from some pills though. They really help, no cravings just a pang that something is missing, but really it's hardly noticeable. The downside is they change the chemistry in the brain which can make you slightly irrational, hence missing the bastard ex.

We're doing nicotine replacement, it's not too bad except when we are out and have forgotten to top up for a while, those are the times we can get a bit bitey.

I think I may have been too busy flirting with Gay Paree to notice Mr Hardy Wine - that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. I'm very jealous of you going up to Glasgow though, one of my favourite cities.

Lorna I'm well impressed, you sound terribly sensible and mature about it all, especially when compared to my fuckwittery.

bitey????

scrazy I'm not suitable for the tablets & Ironman's job means the tablets are out for both of us.

Yes, bitey

Winefiend I'd love it if things work out and we get our reunion, but man plans God laughs.

might be back on the 1st date circuit again before too long....

A sample date from the last two years....

....I sat opposite the "witty and genuine" man I had arranged to have coffee with, wondering when the appropriate 45 minutes would be up and I could leave. He stared at me, grinning hysterically. He had a high pitched voice.

"Funny places, coffee shops, aren't they?" he said. "I've never been in one before. It's very exciting being in one. I wonder what those people are thinking."

Later, I saw on his profile he had ADDED a line about "no hipster people who go to pretentious coffee shops."

ps I'm not a hipster
...

Lorna you're a right hipster you, I've always thought as much.

Wine 'out on the razz' is one of my favourite phrases, or used to be, when I had a social life.

Evening all.

Back in England for a week or so, which is indescribably lovely. Exotic foreign places are lovely, and all, but I miss watching telly and chatting with the postman, and most of all my kids, who I'm spending a week with and am absurdly happy.

I seem to be getting very attached to Mermaid. We've agreed it's not exclusive because of the distance, and I'm still vaguely in touch with Derby, and to be honest if the Mermaid wasn't on the scene, Derby would be interesting and funny (although disturbingly right wing) but I really don't particularly want to explore it any further so we chatted and we're going to be friends with the possibility of benefits, I'm just not going to choose them very often, if at all. FWB can always be problematic if someone gets attached, but I thought that might be my issue. Derby said she's okay with the deal so.. if nothing happens, no harm no foul.

I just keep thinking about the Mermaid and smiling. I'm trying to be realistic about distance but finding it difficult. I'm going to be skyping her and my DC have a habit of interrupting any video chat I ever do, so they may get 'introduced' to her at some point. Via a computer. Weird.

winefiend

Nora

Ok, well Mr POF wants a casual sexual relationship. Despite lying on his profile and saying he wants a relationship. May have just agreed to this.

dontcallmehon hey fellow night owl!

what's the backstory to this pof guy? are you Ok with a casual relationship?

I think I'm ok with whatever I can get. I'm newly separated and probably not ready for a relationship yet anyway, but I've never had a casual thing before.

This is the backstory
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1831625-not-sure-what-to-make-of-it

well i expect others will chime in at some point, but for me, when i think of "casual"

i get and give (or expect to get)

sex (and it needs to be good, no point in having a sex thing otherwise)

affection and attention, but not too much, don't want a text every day

generally courteous behaviour, which really is down to what "i personally am" comfortable with (like I know I can't have casual sex with someone who is pushy or insists I come over to theirs at the last minute and isn't "nice" to deal with. I like the formal dating/seduction routine, it's all part of the foreplay for me. Had a casual night with someone on tuesday and he took me out before and offered to make me a cuppa and lift home in the morning)

i don't get (and don't want to give)

emotional reassurance or any promises of contact or commitment or them/me having to tell about plans or thoughts or deep feelings

any obligation or commitment - it can end after the 1st or 3rd or 6th night we have sex.

exclusivity, so they/i can/should be dating other people

goodnight anyway!

Guess who can't sleep I went to bed too early.

Good Morning Thread!

Lorna, what you have written is my manifesto up there and a good (self esteem building) way (IMO) of going about things if you're going to do fwb aMel (hello Mel by the way)

Scrazy well done for making the decision to give up. I've never smoked but I'd imagine it must be hellishly difficult.

Bant there's no place like home. It must have felt weird (and probably still does) to be in another country from your children. When are you seeing Mermaid (in person)?

HeyGrinch

Right my camomile tea has cooled sufficiently...

Late night Woo! with shooting stars and a cool evening breeze...

Are you guys still asleep? Come on...Carpe diem

Have a good one. Any dates tonight?

Morning all and Happy Friday.

I had a date last night WFF, does that count?

It was good. Definitely heading for the kind of casual set up that Lorna described, as he has a lovely tight bum and I quite fancy a bit him, but don't think we're proper relationship material. And like dontcallmehon I'm still not ready for one of those complicated things anyway.... So I'm off to work with a skip in my step this morning

I'm awake, just. Morning, WFF.

No date for me tonight, plan is to see him Sunday.

Bant, you sound so much more relaxed. Enjoy your time at home.

Bant enjoy your DCs :) and Wine enjoy Glasgow! Heading there myself this afternoon