Dating thread 62 .. All welcome

[Kirstywirsty]

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
   
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
   
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
   
4. Trust your gut instinct;
   
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
   
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
   
7. If it's not fun, stop
   
8. loo update is mandatory

[Bant]

travel - I get that you might not want to give out your email or number - it's always best to play it safe if you're not comfortable, and you can just say you'd rather keep mailing via the site. I think you're being a bit harsh on the bloke though for deleting him after he gave you his - even if it's got the word 'pimp' in it.

But, it's whatever makes you comfortable with OD.

MsApp - I would run screaming from a personal trainer. Someone whose day job was judging other people's physiques.. Shudder

[lurkinglorna]

whoop whoop on cute personal trainers MsA

[hostesswithleastest]

Lorna I've also had congratulations recently and made me laugh as my tits are partially reconstructed after cancer surgery!! They must have done a good job...I was terrified of dating but only 1 man has said 'are they real?' I just said 'no'. He said 'cool'. That was it.

Dr. pashing sounds a lot like Cityboy. Loads of fun and good sex but no feelings at all. Infact a sense that he's cut feelings off entirely for ANYONE post divorce. A bit weird.

Travelin Re the emailing.... that's normal isn't it? Transfer to easier email..my email only has first name for security reasons, or you could use a hotmail address- just so you don't have to log into the site all the time. but lol@ pimp hehehe. It could be ironic.

WFF go the uncool goatee!!!

[hostesswithleastest]

I feel really shite today though... Lonely!!! urgh. Not a good look. Need to enjoy time by myself more, it's my life after all eh. And we can't always be accompanied :D

You lot always cheer me up. Such good attitudes.

[lurkinglorna]

hostess

[hostesswithleastest]

thanks Lorna!

:D I usually perk up in a day or 2. The whole OD thing right now feels like a lot of effort for not much reward... Cityboy is nice but rarely available... and when he's around I'm not.

On the whole tho I know I can only manage casual right now. Guess i need more time with my friends!

[KinNora]

If it's any consolation Travel my name is pretty distinctive too, plus I have to be on a register which has open access to the public and although I worried at first, I've had no stalky problems so far (touch wood). I think some people have dedicated dating email addresses and mobiles to keep extra safe but I've not bothered.

[Kirstywirsty]

travel why don't you just set up an email account which is your [email protected] or similar and then you're not giving away your name .. That's what I did and only use it for the dating sites

[KinNora]

( not the Sex Offenders' Register by the way )

[AWarmFuzzyFuture]

Kin you're on the Lack of Sex Register aren't you?

[Flipper934]

I did exactly the same as Kirsty - then used that email to set up a fake profile for the purposes of spying! Seriously, though, I'm also cautious about giving out my real name before getting to know someone, as it's pretty unique and I can be found easily for similar reasons to Nora. I've never had a problem with people who I do give it to, though. I think the scary weirdos are really few and far between.

[KinNora]

Yes, yes I am Twinny (you fascist)

(Love you really )

[kittykat10]

Think I scared him off by asking his last name I'm so stupid should have waited ,

[AWarmFuzzyFuture]

I'll get my black shirt out

'When Irish eyes are smiling...'

[KinNora]

Cheeky ... (he's sent me a photo of his new bike sitting in his office, I found myself zooming in to see which of the things on his shelves were given to him by me - I'm going to delete it, this way madness lies)

[hostesswithleastest]

lol @ lack of sex register :D
I'm signing that one! (although not strictly applicable this week....)

[hostesswithleastest]

kitty you're not stupid you know it! But yeah sometimes people don't give last names til quite late on

[hostesswithleastest]

MsApprehension personal trainer would scare me I'd be worried about him checking my butt for lack of tone

[hostesswithleastest]

re stalkers I had one who turned up to first date with a ring. Then told me he was having a sex change soon and taking oestrogen 'to feel closer to me'.

I felt sorry for him... he found my ex husband's work email through information I had carelessly given away and sent him a poisonous message accusing me of all sorts. Which the ex husband believed, and it came up months later in mediation :-0

So yeah you need to be really careful and I am now (more). But having a proper, working nutter radar helps. I should not have spent a moment longer with that nutcase and through feeling sorry for him I didn't run away immediately and chatted. Wouldn't do that now!!!

[Bant]

Kitty - I think asking someone's last name on a second date isn't unusual. If they're scared off by it, they have something to hide, they could give a temporary false name if they wanted to.

[kittykat10]

I'm not sure to give him a chance , his friend assures me he decent n single he has been honest about many things including when his pet was sick and he has always been friendly I mean he may just be being cautious I mean I could be a nut joblol

[Hamwidgeandcheps]

Msapprehension - I have a pt and he is just lovely and v sensitive. I think if you can make a living coaxing people to improve themselves and feel better you need to be quite perceptive and empathetic. If my pt wasn't a bit vertically challenged I would date him he's fab.

[MsApprehension]

Thanks Hamwidge, that's very reassuring, as others have mentioned I am a bit concerned he'll find me less than Elle MacPherson-esque if he spends all day in the gym!

[Yogagirl17]

Kitty - you're not stupid and you haven't messed anything up by asking simple questions about a person. Asking someone's last name or if they've been married before are perfectly reasonable things to want to know. An honest answer would be to say he's say he's wary of telling too much about himself before he gets to know you better. But if he's avoiding the question and/or making you feel bad for asking that's not a good sign and likely to be an indicator of how things will continue. Do not let someone you hardly know make you feel bad about yourself.