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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread 62 .. All welcome

999 replies

Kirstywirsty · 20/08/2013 16:37

The Rules

  1. Develop a thick skin;
  2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  4. Trust your gut instinct;
  5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
  6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  7. If it's not fun, stop
  8. loo update is mandatory
OP posts:
Hamwidgeandcheps · 02/09/2013 20:04

Hello. Right what is the consensus on this....had two coffee date offers on POF. Should I go sooner rather than later or get to know them better first? Obviously this is blokes I like the look of not the random nutters..... I'm very buoyed by it but taken aback it happened so fast!

Wagonwheels · 02/09/2013 20:21

Go for it Ham! I started chatting with the the footballer on a Saturday, met him on the Tuesday - fastest I've met someone on OD and so far, the most successful! Smile

Hamwidgeandcheps · 02/09/2013 20:33

Hmmm interesting wagonwheel Grin best give it some thought!

lovelybunchofcoconuts · 02/09/2013 20:38

ham go soon, then you know either way.
If they are both good you know you can do both again, if neither is good you can move along, if one is good you can focus your efforts on that - disco.

Grin evening everyone

ALittleStranger · 02/09/2013 20:42

Go early, go often, that's my motto. It's all bullshit until it happens, so get it happening or know to pull the plug.

Too much chat always equalled a disappointment in my experience, whereas some of my best dates were nearly blind.

scrazy · 02/09/2013 20:45

I chatted to the guy I'm seeing on a Thursday and we met on the Saturday and it went well.

49howdidthathappen · 02/09/2013 20:53

I am loving reading all the good stuff going on at the moment Smile

Nowt of interest to say Blush

My DS is 24.

Bant · 02/09/2013 20:57

On the subject of reappearers, I just got home and Pinkhat has winked at me again.

This is the 8th time, I think, since I didn't ask her out for a second date because she was arrogant and annoying.

If I blocked her on match, she could still wink at me, right? I want to stop it now its getting stalkerish

Concentrateonthegood · 02/09/2013 21:06

Hi, I used frequent these boards but stopped dating quite some time ago but decided to give it a try again on eHarmony. Met a really nice bloke but my twat radar is twitching and I can't put my finger on the problem. So, don't want to out him but anyone around my age been in contact with a 50 something firefighter, north london way? Want to pm me to discuss experiences? I know if I have an intuition about this I should just walk away but but but......

hostesswithleastest · 02/09/2013 21:13

Wagon glad not to be the only DOW (and we know what that stands for now :)) on the thread!!

You're right stranger. Chat and no action is a bad idea. I have had the odd thing start with a lot of chatting though so it isn't an automatic death knell but if you really like someone you meet asap don't you?

rubbish yes I always talk to exes, am glad to hear from them, etc. That is cos I assume they are indeed my friends and I think I may have been wrong on that point a few times!

hostesswithleastest · 02/09/2013 21:13

That is odd indeed Bant- you can block can't you. I would

hostesswithleastest · 02/09/2013 21:15

Concentrate please elaborate on the twat radar!! Do you think he is telling lies/cheating on you? (I don't know him btw)

OhWesternWind · 02/09/2013 21:30

Definitely try blocking her Bant. Nothing worse than a persistent winker ...

I'd meet up soon as well Ham if you like the sound of them. Having said that, I messaged Alpha on and off for ages, turned him down the first time he asked me for a date as I wasn't particularly interested but thought I'd go along and meet up when he asked again, just in case - so you really never know.

Concentrate I don't know him either, but do you want to give some more details about what's making you twitchy?

lovelybunchofcoconuts · 02/09/2013 21:34

concentrate I'm not in London but do you know what's making you wonder?
Too keen too soon?
Not available for calls?
Give us some clues!

Wagonwheels · 02/09/2013 21:40

Or is it worth sending her a polite but firm message, Bant, to clarify that you're not interested and will not be interested in the future?

Hamwidgeandcheps · 02/09/2013 22:08

Concentrate - if he is originally from the caribbean I may randomly know him

OhWesternWind · 02/09/2013 22:22

Juliette how's things, love?

Concentrateonthegood · 02/09/2013 22:25

Hello everyone that answered. Ham, he isn't from the Caribbean.

He has been pretty full on and he is a lovely bloke. Few months out of a long term relationship and its clear he is completely new to this and out of his depth a little. I dunno. I didn't have good experiences of on line dating before and I guess I'm waiting to find something bad out. I guess my main issue is, could it be that easy? He says he's writing to eh to tell them that they matched us spot on and wants to come off the website and is planning stuff for us later in the year. We can talk literally for hours at a time and he is entirely appropriate at all times if a little formal. Could I be this lucky? what do you think everyone?

Moanranger · 02/09/2013 22:40

Concentrate you could indeed. I met my guy thru a Meet Up, was not looking at all & he came along 6 weeks after my marital split. It is entirely possible. Assess the man, not the circumstances, & obviously, follow the rules as printed on the top of every page of this thread.
He sounds dandy to me; keep us posted.

hostesswithleastest · 02/09/2013 22:52

Concentrate he sounds great. Embrace the luck!!

Scattylatte · 02/09/2013 22:53

Absolutely concentrate it can be that easy. I met the man I'm with 9 months ago. I didn't really pay much attention at first and it was a hugely slow burner. But at the same time it is very easy, I have stopped looking for the bad. Incidentally he is also a fireman but not in London. Good luck.

JulietteMontague · 02/09/2013 23:14

OWW i'm feeling a bit more positive today. I got very good advice and insights on here, you lot are wonderful and wise Thanks

Pleased at all the good news on the thread too Smile

Flojobunny · 03/09/2013 00:24

Ok so now I'm in a quandary.
There's the gorgeous, clever bloke I met last week who is beautiful but was really quiet and a bit awkward.
Then there's today's date, who I didn't overly fancy but he seemed lovely and genuine and warm, not clever or ambitious but put me at ease, my usual type.
How long can I acceptably date them both?
Gorgeous guy knows about date today, but today's doesn't and I think he'd be bothered cos he's already quite full on.

kittykat10 · 03/09/2013 06:23

How about this for charmer ex texted me last night , fancy a quickie on Thursday , I'll even pick you up !

In a year of dating he'd not ever picked me up lol

I said no by the way!

KinNora · 03/09/2013 06:37

Flo the consensus is usually that you can date several people until you've had the exclusivity conversation, although some people prefer just to date one at a time.

Kitty - chancer, I hope you told him where to get off.

Concentrate that sounds marvellous, just enjoy the experience and bask in your good luck.

I'm very glad you're feeling better Juliette, on top of everything else I bet you're trying to organise ds for going away - no mean feat, is it ?

Lovely to see you Scatty and Moan, fantastic news that things are going so well for you both.

Big mwwwahhhh to everyone else, I can barely bring myself to update, 3 dates lined up and to be honest I was more excited about noticing a Patisserie Valerie had opened in Euston Station.

Back at work today, boooooooooooooooo