Dating thread 62 .. All welcome

[Kirstywirsty]

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop
8. loo update is mandatory

I'm so cross right now. Probably because its stirred up my own anger to ex. I just keep thinking how date he say "there's nothing to tell, only meet him once". Nothing to tell!
I'm not the kind of woman who can keep out of these things. There's no excuse, none at all.

Flojo - you're very very likely to be right, but there is a chance that he lost contact through no fault of his own, that the mother was a Tahitian belly dancer he had a one night stand with and he flew to Tahiti once to meet the child but is never allowed back because he offended the king of Tahiti. And the 'nothing to tell' comment us just that he doesn't want to give away too much personal information before meeting a stranger

This is very very unlikely. He is probably a wanker. So ask him for more details via email and if he actually comes across as a decent guy who has fallen foul of regulations and rules or geography, then meet him if it sounds kosher

And there can be 'excuses' - fathers for justice do have a point, otherwise they wouldn't be climbing Big Ben dressed as Spider-Man

Ok thanks, but I don't know how I'll stop myself from saying "ok, but why didnt u do this or do that"
That he should have rowed a boat to Tahiti, then walked across hot coals and then some.
Damn I thought this guy was sweet and genuine.

Yes but surely Spider-Man would have in his profile that his kids are his world? 6 things you can't live without : kids? Etc.
Oh well, like you said, no point speculating. Best get the story first.

U weren't far off the mark

King of Tahiti?

Apparently, Australian on uni break, didn't know she was pregnant til back home. Now married and husband adopted him.
Can't help but wonder if he sensed me outrage and fabricated such a story.

I'd meet him actually Flojo- see the whites of his eyes when he tells the story to you in person! It's such a dramatic story that it's either the sad truth or an outrageous fabrication and ergo he is indeed a massive wanker.

Ok will do that and hope I can tell the difference.

It sounds plausible. And for a young bloke who has a ONS (presumably) with a woman, who finds out later that there is a baby - unplanned, and on the other side of the world - that is different to children who he wanted, cared for and loved, then abandoned.

Meet him and see

Morning all

Feeling better now I've slept . We seem to be carrying on , I'm not sure if it is dating but if not it's fun........ more fun than with the others been with.

, maybe I pushed it with the others or maybe they were idiots lol

a pot head and a back door betty lover, I know how to pick them !

But dating or not he seems sweet , he can be shy at times but not t
lol

Life to short to be unhappy!

Flo that sounds plausible to me too. I wouldn't bin him because of this at this stage.

Kitty sounds like dating to me . . . So glad you are having fun with him. That's just the way things should be.

Feeling really happy today even though it's a grey rainy morning back at work. Life is good.

Great, everyone is feeling positive this morning, woohoo!

Hello lovely thread, just place marking and catching up with all your news :)

I'm on to date 4 with the footballer and it is going very well indeed

Flo hope your date goes well, I think his story sounds plausible too and like others have said, you'll get a better feel for any fabrication tendencies when you meet him face to face. If you listen, he will tell you what kind of man he is.

Sorry Flo, re-reading my last sentence, I sound like a right bossy mare! Wasn't intended that way, and now I can't think of a different way to express! Anyway, looking forward to hearing how your date goes :).

Morning all

I know I promised to come back yesterday, but a birthday girl has responsibilities as well as rights, you know

Had a lovely, if low-key day, with some great thoughtful presents, orchestrated by DD2.

I am , he sent a text this am that gave a warm glow !!!!!!!!!!!

No, you've not missed anything SS - still waiting for the all clear next week fingers crossed but we are finding some very nice ways round the situation for the moment, more than happy with how things are going. So glad you had a lovely birthday.

Footballer sounds great WAG, glad all is going well.

Hi All
Thats nothing! I have a DC older than that secret
It's lovely when they leave home & become human.

Your coyness does you credit oww, particularly with a thread full of dirty old women . But so glad you're happy - it couldn't happen to a better woman!

Coco I'm actually starting to dread DD1 moving on at the end of this month, she has for a while now been the only other full adult in the house - even before her dad moved out.

Oh, and just, if I may, to go back to the meet up talk of the weekend London or north west for me please

Broken So sorry, but do remember Rules 1 & 2. It is always a risk that dating someone will not necessarily end in a relationship. Remember the adage " you've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince" so view dating as frog- kissing, basically!
Flo get the story. There could be all kinds of reasons: mother blocking access, abroad, etc. not necessarily a red flag, and lack of visiting may be very painful to him hence he may not like talking about it.

I think it's difficult for women to get how men just see children differently unless we're involved with them.

If a woman I'd had a one night stand with ten years ago tracked me down and told me she'd had my child, I'd be shocked, worried, guilty & angry. I'd be curious about the child but I would have no emotional connection with it. I don't know if I would want one, it's something I'd do a lot of soul searching about. I don't know if I'd choose to meet it (although would if the child wanted) - it might upset and confuse the child if it had a stable and happy home life.

However, I have two DC who I adore, who I would never lose contact with and would die for, kill for, and travel the world for. But I was the first one to hold them when they were born, even before their mum, the first one to change their nappies, I fed them, burped them, teach them stupid songs and help them with homework. That has no comparison to a child I've never met on the other side of the world. I could be the father of multiple unknown children, theoretically - I don't believe I am, but these things do happen.

A man choosing to have nothing to do with his own children who he was involved with, out of laziness or being an arse, can't really be compared with someone who finds out they have a child ten thousand miles away who is being happily raised by someone else. It may be painful occasionally, but it's not the heart-wrenching loss of a child who has been part of our lives on a daily basis.

See the guy and work out if he's telling the truth.

Interesting Bant. There is just no equivalent situation for women and it can be very hard indeed to understand.

For instance the only way I would presumably have lost contact with a child I had given birth to would be adoption or loss of custody either of which would be really painful. Going 50/50 residence with the ex was painful enough although these days I am sometimes thankful for it