Dating thread 62 .. All welcome

[Kirstywirsty]

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop
8. loo update is mandatory

flipper and Snape sorry xposted

I'm feeling daft, but better thanks Flipper. And, have I said, very grateful to you all particularly as it means I'm less likely to have a similar meltdown in front of the kids. I could feel myself edging that way.

Snape it's hard to imagine, you -or indeed anyone on here - feeling so isolated. What did people do before the Internet?

I believe the lucky-ones had books. :)

I was an only child, my mum was a single parent who worked. I had one or two good friends as a child (but one was black & my mum was racist & the other one lived quite far away) so I had books as friends. :-) glad you're feeling a bit better secret

...oh! those of you who don't have me on fb (& don't believe it to be the work of satan) do PM me for an add if you would like to, because you may have missed the news that DD(18) heard yesterday that she has just got a fab relatively well-paid job and I am fit to burst with pride ('failing single parent family blah-blah')

secret a penis does not a bastard make.
No, vodka without food is not a good move, please make sure you eat. I don?t mind smeary shoulders.
And no, I handled losing friends with considerably less dignity, I can assure you but I can tell you all about that at our meet up .

snape I?m not wise, I?ve just lived through it

I think that equates to wisdom sometimes. To live through it and determine that you acted well, or to be able to look back & consider we might have done things slightly differently = wisdom. :)

Sort of off topic but any one in droitwich , worcs area who fancy pole dance classes just saw it advertised lol

Could be a laugh

snape maybe the fb group needs a revival without as many cocks?

I know it's poor humour but 'one was black & my mum was racist' made me laugh. THAT is surely the definition of loneliness, right there

Thread meet. Yes. Provided us blokes are invited too. Can you imagine how hard finding a date that suits most of us is going to be??

Snape I'm on my phone so can't PM you, but can reply if you PM me - I wanna be on your fb. Fab news about your DD, had she been hit with all the 'you must go to uni, or you'll be a scrounging, no mark for the rest of your life' bollox?

And books, ahh, yes, how well I remember dancing with Vronsky, cos my 'mates' had decided that month I was the fall guy but [happy] memories!

Actually, lack of a book recently may well have contributed to my blues. Being nearly 50 I have learnt at least two thinks in life - a good shag and a good book are two of life's necessities, I have had neither for a couple of months now!

kitty sorry I'm nowhere near Droitwich and I have probably embarrassed myself enough - now!

It's quite sad actually. She gave up on her A levels having taken her GCSEs in Scotland after I'd moved to London with her brothers. She was meant to be staying with her dad. Dads GF threw her out fucking bitch so she sofa surfed for a bit then stayed with her GPs. Still got reasonably good GCSEs. Didn't adapt very well to new, posh school which coincided with her brother having a dreadful time at school, being bullied and suicidal, so spent a lot of time being withdrawn and deposed herself. Is now on major retailers school leaving programme, so very happy! :) her one friend from high school was accepted to Cambridge, but elected to go to a different non-Russell uni as she didn't think she would fit in. Friend will leave uni with mega-debt and has resigned to living on noodles for 4 years. :( for friend who is lovely girl. Yay for DD though. :)

snape ooooh the bit about being thrown out makes.my.blood.boil.
Your DD is amazing, and stunning that job will stand her in good stead for so much in the future, much better than being skint and aimless at Uni.
Good for her for getting it, she must have impressed them.

I'm glad you're feeling better this morning Secret, life is a bag of shite occasionally. I've been making a point of going out by myself, rediscovering the independence I lost and going to the kind of events that my ex wouldn't accompany me to (so effectively pretty much everything - he was too busy having a fabulously exciting and glamorous social life that he never invited me to share ).

Snape congratulations to your dd, and as I'm enormously nosy I'm going to pm so I can add you on Facebastard.

Yes to meet up, as long as you give me enough time to work off my northern summer carbohydrate mountain.

Secret I've always looked out for your posts and you are lovely. The friends thing is a bunch of cock. Its very hard at times.

Fwiw Im down to 2 locally who i can see casually neither one can do evenings. I gradually got tired of being taken for granted by friends over the years, my oldest friend i kind of cut off accidentally by pressing Send instead of Draft the other lives miles away and i rarely see her without her DH, the other I dropped after a Big Thing a few years ago. Despite feeling crap about it I'm appalling at keeping in touch for reasons I dont understand, when I feel meh i hiberbate as i think the chances of getting maudlin and behaving badly are up there.

Sorry, this has turned self indulgent but what I meant to say was we've all had our moments with this and yes I'd love to meet up.

Snape so pleased for your DD, I can imagine just how much this means to you. You're a wonderful Mum.

secret sweetie just read your post and can only echo what everyone else has said, it's no reflection on you more a sad state of affairs that is all too common in the modern world and we all can empathise because we have all felt the same at one point or another. Also happy to be a fb friend, will pm you!

Thread meet up is a fab idea, central London would be doable for me, but I don't think one destination is going to suit everyone! Own up whose a project manager?

I think it would need several meets- one up north, one in london, one in the west country... I'll be part of the London one if I can make it

We could even do a couple, a picnic thing during the day for those who want to bring the DC, and an evening thing for those who can get sitters and want to have booze.

I think we should arrange it through a FB group or Meetup.com or something, so we know everyone who's going to be there - especially if the DC are involved.

I'd also say that people have to have posted on the thread at some point to come along - it would be very strange and one sided if people turned up and knew all about us but we knew nothing about them..

I am not a project manager.

I can do London or the North - I'm easy (I laugh every time I say that, you know - tragic)

Please forgive me here. Either I'm being a complete bitch or something is wrong with me. I keep blowing up at Dutchie. I'm exhausted anyway, with DS attitude, post A level fall out and not having any time to myself. No excuse though. I just went, yet again from talking about something very sensitive to fever pitch and I've just really hurt his feelings with it. It's been intense anyway, today was the first day we could have had time out. He has gone out for time alone. I feel like Im out of control, like iM having menopausal rage (think constant PMT) all over. DS acts like he despises me, friends I've let go and Dutchie i dont know what he thinks. DS told me I wasnt a nice person and maybe im just not. I'm a mess tight now.

The friend i could sob on is away for 6 weeks.

Juliette - this is the first time Dutchie has stayed at yours?

Every time you've seen him it's been at his place, no children around (?), just basically a relaxing holiday with lots of sex and new romance. This is the first time (if I'm right) that he's been on your turf, in your territory, and you're dealing with day to day issues as well as him.

I'd say apologise to Dutchie and explain that it just takes some time getting used to, you're accustomed to this being your place and you're trying to fit two separate parts of your life together and it takes some time.

you're not being a complete bitch, your DS is a grumpy teenager and he's getting used to new stuff too - Dutchie, leaving home, loads of uncertainty in his life.

It's going to be difficult for you reconciling your romantic and day to day home life at the moment.

Bant if only it were just that. Its his second time here, hes worked very hard on fixing lots it my house so DS being rude to me whilst doing nothing is more obvious. Its constant low level rudeness, tone and he takes thd house over with his bad moods. It is difficult but no one deserves what i just said and although i said sorry sorry he said he is tired of hearing it. I don't blame him. Every day i cone ip with something.

Im wondering if I'm just impossible.

Rudeness and moods is DS not Dutchie.

Christ Juliette you're not a complete bitch, are you ? You know that.

Teenage sons would test the patience of a bloody saint at the best of times, basically they're just obsessed with themselves and their own lives, don't be taking anything he says as read.

Dutchie - relationships are hard, especially when you're used to doing your own thing, there's a lot of adjustment goes on, he's in your space, your space has been a very important, safe place for you and ds - sharing is hard.

(Sorry if all the above is shite, I'm on a train with some toddler running up and down the aisle )
xxx

I'm up north (well quite north as going away to Northumberland was even more up north). I come down to London to mostly do work a bit in November and December.
Would be petrified of meeting people but would like to do it