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Original poster

Dating thread 62 .. All welcome

999 replies

Kirstywirsty · 20/08/2013 16:37

The Rules

  1. Develop a thick skin;
  2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  4. Trust your gut instinct;
  5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
  6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  7. If it's not fun, stop
  8. loo update is mandatory
OP posts:
kittykat10 · 27/08/2013 13:15

I had a great day at weekend bit self conscious about kissing in public but I could get used to it, I sound like a kid lol but he seemed keen as he said he will have to see what holiday he got left so we could go to zoo

hostesswithleastest · 27/08/2013 16:05

Waves to all.

Fuck I am knackered and have done NOTHING for days except sit worrying about divorce/moving house/the book I am NOT WRITING (aaaaargh). It's like exhaustion without action! Not good!

Juliette a dose of 'Oh do fuck off' for exes :D I love it. Not the ex but ex's parents slagging me off to my sons has really soured the mood this week. My poor 6 year old was upset and conflicted and my 10 year old said he doesn't want to see them any more. Excellent guys, well done. :/

Feeling meh about Cityboy. Can't be arsed with an FWB who also wants attention but nil emotion/commitment. So I think the gavel will fall shortly but I still want a shag this week oops.

WFF sorry about your bohemian hippy, but if anyone needs a wash it's GONE GIRL. Much woo to you for new dates.

Bant your words on self esteem really ring a chord... Sorry to hear about the number the ex did on you but you really seem to have come out of it positive.

In other news I got messaged by a guy who turns out to work literally 5 mins away from me :D he's not my total type but funny, nerdy, interesting, another academic (which may or may not be a good thing, but we do tend to mate with our own quite often :-0)

So date on Friday and as it is in another town (where I work) and I don't yet have accommodation he has offered the spare room. A slightly awkward text where he said 'it might make for a more openended evening but your virtue should you wish to protect it will remain intact' :D which I guess is at least honest and not pushy. He did apologise earlier for having a 'broken filter' eg everything straight out...

So anyway this one is looking promising...

Attractive but dull German emailed from Stockholm then disappeared. I m also getting a lot of drunk texts from exes. Why??? (can someone male please explain to me the lure of the drunk text which is immediately followed by withdrawal or silence?? I text someone if I want to see or talk to them, full stop...)

xxx to all

kittykat10 · 27/08/2013 16:49

What's woo

dontcallmehon · 27/08/2013 17:25

Really good advice, Bant. Self esteem is so important. I think you are less willing to compromise your ideals for a bad relationship if your self esteem is good.

Oh, date with doctor confirmed at tapas bar tomorrow. Just been quizzed by a guy I've been messaging (but haven't met!) about whether I'm dating others. He seemed crestfallen by the affirmative answer. I thinks it's a bit much and I'm wondering if it's best not to meet him at all now. Particularly as I don't find him attractive from his pics - just really liked his personality online.

49howdidthathappen · 27/08/2013 17:39

Kin The meeting was brief. I thought it would be very awkward. It was fine Smile Been apart from Ex 18 months now.

Mr R&Rs sadly departed cat used to stay asleep on the bed through the whole show. Weird!

kittykat10 · 27/08/2013 18:33

Not heard of him all day well n truly messed up stupidly gutted

dontcallmehon · 27/08/2013 19:13

I think if it's meant to be it'll happen. You haven't done anything awful - it is perfectly ok to ask where you stand as a one off text. If he wants to see you again that shouldn't put him off.

hostesswithleastest · 27/08/2013 20:35

Kittycat re woo that's a good question.

I think it means a mixture of romance/sexiness/general pleasantness and magic. But WFF can define better.

49 Was Mr R&R an online dating find?

hostesswithleastest · 27/08/2013 20:37

Kittycat btw all day without amessage is not end of world.

Don't give them too much power, as everyone told me about my ex! :D

What everyone has said on the thread is true. I think it's bloody well OK to be needy, we've all got needs, but protect yourself. Don't give anyone so much power over you that you're quaking over his every anticipated move. You're worth more than that hun. xx

Bant · 27/08/2013 20:42

kitty - I've been chatting to the Mermaid everyday for a month or so now. Hour long Skype calls, emails etc. but for the last few days we just haven't been able to get time to do it. I have the DC, she's working, there is a big time zone difference. So we haven't skyped in 5 days and there have only been a few mails. That doesn't mean things are off, or its over, it just means things have got on top of both of us.

And if it did mean things were over, then that would be a shame but obviously it would mean we weren't suited for each other. This shit will happen and I can't realistically be with someone who will panic if I'm not in touch when I've told her I won't be, and vice versa.

Just relax and let him make the next move. If he doesn't, then he's not worth your time..

dontcallmehon · 27/08/2013 20:47

Still getting texts from POF guy. He didn't text me this much when I liked him. This time, his excuse to contact me is that I've left an umbrella at his flat and he doesn't know what to do with it. I'm continuing to ignore. The thing is, I really liked him, but he's been deceptive and I don't like that.

49howdidthathappen · 27/08/2013 20:47

Kitty What Hostess said. With knobs on.

Mr R&R was a RL find Smile Dabbled a bit with OD. It got me back in the saddle Grin

dontcallmehon · 27/08/2013 21:39

OK - I'm freaked out. I haven't put this anywhere on my profile, but someone on Match sent me a message titled 'peas.' They know that I buy lots of wasabi peas, but not only that - which supermarket I buy them from!

TravelinColour · 27/08/2013 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dontcallmehon · 27/08/2013 21:56

Turns out they live nearby and spotted me buying wasabi peas in Tesco last Monday! Shock

hostesswithleastest · 27/08/2013 22:00

woah hon I don't know if the peas thing is funny or creepy!!

The texts also sound odd! how was he deceptive...

hostesswithleastest · 27/08/2013 22:01

btw sorry dontcallmehon for calling you precisely that :D

dontcallmehon · 27/08/2013 22:01

He pretended to want a relationship but was actually after a casual arrangement. He wasn't honest about it.

I think the peas thing is slightly creepy. I mean, I didn't even remember buying them.

dontcallmehon · 27/08/2013 22:02

That's ok - I don't mind Smile

I do seem to attract some strange types.

ALittleStranger · 27/08/2013 22:04

I think the pea thing lacks a little common sense. You're a stranger on the internet, think about how it's going to come across man!

I "dated" (as in first/second dates) a possibly unreasonable number of men who work near me. I bump into them quite a lot. We're all very British about it and just ignore each other. Hmm

dontcallmehon · 27/08/2013 22:09

He did apologise when I responded to say I was a little freaked out!

hostesswithleastest · 27/08/2013 22:15

oh lord no absolutely right to ditch mr I don't want a relationship really... that stinks as an opening move!

Exactly stranger- it's just intrusive isn't it- boundary busting :D

I thank God I live in London occasionally- you're unlikely to see any of them again in the mass of 10 million people....

however the bloke I am dating on Friday (second date w the Prof as I'm calling him) works in the office block 2 mins from me. I'd managed never to see him before though despite working there 2 years! So I guess I can avoid him again if it goes tits up....

dontcallmehon · 27/08/2013 22:27

Definitely hostess, that must be an advantage of London. I live in a big city, but a smallish town. Although I never notice what anyone else has in their shopping basket!

Yes POF guy annoyed me, especially as his profile stated that he was looking for 'that special someone.' So either a) He was telling the truth - but I am not good enough, but will do for a shag or b) He was lying. Neither are very good options. So he can text all he likes and I'll continue to ignore.

ALittleStranger · 27/08/2013 22:31

I should add that my bumping has all happened in London! You're safe no where daters.

hostesswithleastest · 27/08/2013 22:37

stranger when I get searching looks in the street now I always think 'they've seen me on okc! eek!'