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Original poster

Dating thread 62 .. All welcome

999 replies

Kirstywirsty · 20/08/2013 16:37

The Rules

  1. Develop a thick skin;
  2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  4. Trust your gut instinct;
  5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
  6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  7. If it's not fun, stop
  8. loo update is mandatory
OP posts:
Flipper934 · 27/08/2013 04:25

Grrr, Wine, I'd say your assessment of said friend is about right. I might be inclined to be charitable and blame it on the drink, if she's not usually like this, but it doesn't sound like that's the case. The cheek!

MA has changed his profile to say that he his seeing someone. Assuming he means me, I like this, but I feel a bit bad, knowing that I still have my reservations (not about him, he's great, about my circumstances and whether a long term relationship with him in particular is a good idea).

Weird question, but do any other dog owners have dogs that complain about Coffee? Dog appears to like MA, but when Coffee is being served has taken to creeping into the bedroom (he knows he's not really allowed in) on his belly, and lying there growling and whining. It's a little off-putting. He's not been like this before.

Original poster
Kirstywirsty · 27/08/2013 05:23

wine the saying 'friends like that who needs enemies' springs to mind .. Who'd do that to their pal? What was his reaction?

flipper can you not just shut the door so the dog can't get in? I would find that off putting too

Another sleepless night .. Can't wait till I'm in my new house .. There is so much to do at least then I could take advantage of the extra hours on my hands

OP posts:
Flipper934 · 27/08/2013 05:38

Yep, Kirsty, that's the solution I went for. It just needs someone to remember every time!

Sorry you can't sleep either, but it will be lovely when you're in your new home.

Original poster
Kirstywirsty · 27/08/2013 05:50

Why are you awake flipper?

OP posts:
AWarmFuzzyFuture · 27/08/2013 06:19

Morning Thread Smile

I've been busy and have a date for next week.

In addition, I am texting two completely new suitable blokes. I am fairly Smile with their profile content/photos. Both nearby ie less than 20 miles away.

Went on POF last night for the first time in ages and it was like a school reunion 'Hey WFF where you been? What's been happening? I've missed you!'Smile I felt welcomed.

Haven't sent the note to Catweazle/NCG yet, will do today though.

Flipper opportunities don't present themselves at the best moment. You sound happy, that counts for a lot in my book.

Kirsty when do you get back into your home? My house is a definite slow work in progress.

49 MrR&R is wonderful. I don't think I'll be seeing that jumper or it's owner againSmile

WOO! with a large order of fun.

49howdidthathappen · 27/08/2013 06:58

Wine Sorry your trip was a bit shite. Your friend was a cow!

My dog is not allowed near any action. She gets a tad excited Blush

KinNora · 27/08/2013 08:37

Morning everyone,

Wine 'friends' like that are a pain in the arse, she does sound like an insecure baggage, I couldn't be doing with her. I'm sorry your trip home hasn't been as relaxing as it might, it's hard when you've looked forward to going back and you end up dealing with all kinds of problems (my own stay here has been similarly difficult).

Kirsty how long will you have to wait until you can move in ? (Sorry if you've already said and I've missed it)

49 yet more evidence that Mr R&R is the stuff of legend - impressing your ex. Blimey.

Flipper on one occasion exh and I were having Coffee on the sofa (I know - a wave of adventurousness must have affected him) my glasses were carefully placed on the coffee table, the dog silently chewed them into oblivion in an expression of disgust. No problems with Dog2 and Spud sex though, I like to think he approved.

WFF you're a one woman whirlwind of dating energy, I take my hat off to you.

Have a fabulous day everyone.

MirandaWest · 27/08/2013 08:52

Morning all :)

Finally got to see Mr Nice on Sunday evening (until about 30 minutes ago) due to XH being later back from seeing his gf (lives about 200 miles away) than expected. Then and Mr Nice and his DS and I had Sunday dinner where I was not playing footsie with Mr Nice under the table at all. We came back here eventually and were in bed for a while Grin.

Lovely sunny day yesterday which we spent mostly having an extended picnic :)

His DS goes away to university the weekend after next. Mr Nice is a bit sad about it. Is very happy about him going but is going to miss him a lot I think :(

MirandaWest · 27/08/2013 08:53

DCat luckily ignores us when full on Coffee is happening although has been known to prevent snogging by sitting on one of our chests. Or someone's head Hmm.

Original poster
Kirstywirsty · 27/08/2013 09:16

FoF and I are building my brand new king size bed tomorrow once the carpets are down and staying over tomorrow night .. Rest of furniture arrives from storage on Thursday .. Grin

OP posts:
MirandaWest · 27/08/2013 09:17

Brand new king sized bed sounds good :)

kittykat10 · 27/08/2013 09:30

Ok my insure nature rose. Up last night and I tested asking do you actually fancy me
He answered pretty fast for him saying yes, have I messed up .
It has taken ages to even have the first date , both thought we were being set up, as a joke between a mural friend and then he wasn't that interested and then I started to see some one else.

I'm just a bit worried I've messed up,

KinNora · 27/08/2013 11:28

Kitty I don't think a one off text asking if he fancies you is a huge mistake, doing it repeatedly or asking him repeatedly might possibly get on his nerves a little.

You don't seem to have very high self esteem, it might be worth looking into ways of improving that - remember, you're the prize.

kittykat10 · 27/08/2013 11:38

I k ow my self esteem is low I can't help that .
He not texted today but he was unwell yesterday and at work today so he might be busy.
I just rethink g maybe I should be allowed be alone

KinNora · 27/08/2013 11:43

Kitty if you want to be alone, then do that - you're allowed to do whatever makes you happy but it is possible to do things to improve how you feel about yourself, and that might make dating a bit less stressful for you.

kittykat10 · 27/08/2013 11:48

I don't want to be alone tho.
I lime being with him , I'm relaxed n I laugh with him.

KinNora · 27/08/2013 11:56

That's good then, maybe try to see all the positives in yourself that other people see.

Bant · 27/08/2013 11:59

Kitty, you can choose whatever you want. I'm relaxed around my friends, both make and female, and they make me laugh. But I want a relationship with someone which is more than that. I've been dating for a year almost, since splitting from my ex at the beginning of last year. It took me months to get to the point where I wanted a relationship again, I would have been too cynical and I wasn't yet 'me' - the me I was before meeting my ex (although a bit older and wiser and greyer) - I was still recovering from a bad marriage with someone who made me feel guilty and negative all the time. My friends told me I'd changed for the worse after meeting my ex, and so I tried to get back to who I used to be, jokey, confident, generally a nicer person to be around, before I started trying to meet people.

But I spent time with friends and myself and became happier, and that's when I was ready to share that happiness with someone else, and share theirs too.

I don't need a relationship with someone, but I'd like one. Neediness is off putting, from both sides. You need to get to the point where men want to be with you because your happiness and confidence shows through, and with men whose happiness shows through likewise. Otherwise you'll just end up feeling depressed or used or both.

KinNora · 27/08/2013 12:10

Kitty Bant has it nailed, hear that man.

Flipper934 · 27/08/2013 12:28

Another one saying listen to Bant, Kitty. You can help that your self-esteem is low, you know, you just need to believe that you are beautiful inside and out, and that you are the prize.

Like Bant says, being in a bad relationship changes you. It takes away all that self-belief (though I do think that if your self-esteem is low to begin with, you are more likely to end up in a bad relationship). After coming out of one, it can take a while to build your self-esteem back up again. I was single for 18 months before I was ready to start dating, and had a fair amount of counselling in that time, too. If I hadn't, I would be worried that I was going to make the same mistakes again and again.

Winefiend · 27/08/2013 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kittykat10 · 27/08/2013 12:40

I know we not known each other long but I feel like the old kitty with him.
The one who did fun things , who knew how to be social x

KinNora · 27/08/2013 12:43

Dunno Wine but Dog2 is an Irish rescue border collie/golden retriever cross (photo on my Facebastard, I think) and he is completely off his rocker, can turn door knobs in order to steal birthday cakes, loaves of bread, a leg of lamb, packets of bagels, he's a canine Fagin.

Winefiend · 27/08/2013 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ALittleStranger · 27/08/2013 13:05

Well that's good Kitty, just don't rely on him to uncover the old kitty. Rediscovering yourself after a dead relationship is fab, but it's partly a solo activity. The good think about "dating" is you can get fun and flirtation without sacrificing the important bits about being single.

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