Dating thread 62 .. All welcome

[Kirstywirsty]

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop
8. loo update is mandatory

Hello all - haven't been on much in the last month - RL got in the way, with holidays and kids going back to school and tonsillitis (me) and such like.

I think I am just about done with dating for a wee while, got other things I want to concentrate on - am applying for jobs, and then hopefully buying a house if I ever get one. But just wanted to run this past you wise ladies and men.

Mr Faffy, who was the only date I went on through POF has remained in almost daily contact throughout the last month. We had one date in July, which was an absolute bugger to organise (hence his name). We had our second just last week, which was less faffy but equally - a cafe filled with OAPs having lunch. But then a little snog, which made up for that unromantic setting! But. His home life is complicated and potentially difficult for me and my sons as we have already been through a tough time. So I'm thinking a no for anything long term anyway. But a wee role in the hay would be nice
However, late yesterday evening he was messaging me seeming quite lost, talking about the his son's behavioural problems getting him down, talking about sending his son back to live with his mum (who's care he was removed from at Christmas). I told him to call me for a chat - our first phone chat ever, despite the fact he's had my number for over a month. We talked for nearly 2hrs (until about 1.30am!), mainly about his situation, nothing sexy or anything. Today, I have heard nothing at all. I'd have thought that after sitting up till 1.30am talking him through a rough evening, I might have got some thank you message. (I can see he's been on POF, so I know he's been around.) So I'm a little annoyed about that. I'm also thinking - if I was upset or struggling, it wouldn't be the person off the internet that I'd met twice that I'd be turning to. So I think really, I can't start anything up with him knowing how much support he's going to need - I don't grudge him it, just that I also need support at the moment (abusive STBXH) and am running low on reserves. Maybe it's a good thing that I shelve dating plans for now.

Sorry for the long ramble, just wanted to get all that out.

I would just like to add: Wine I concur. David Mitchell? Yes. Tom Hardy? Hell yes. Charlie Brooker? I think I may be slightly in love!
(And yes, I also feel like a dog on heat at the moment, that's a really good way to describe it...)

Pony it sounds like you have enough to be getting on with without the addition of someone with the potential to drain you emotionally. You are the priority here, OD is meant to be fun.

Bant very for you and your DC

Tigsy poor DD, poor you. I'm sure you'll get some sensible help if you post a thread about it. At least it's all out in the open now (((hugs)))

Nora you Vixen you

Helloooooooooooooooooooooo all runs through thread.....

Happy dating or sofa sitting to all this weekend.

I'm almost certain one of the other regulars on here lives near me, I meant to say that when I was posting around the end of last year.
Definitely close enough to be in the same dating venn diagram (if I was dating).

Think date off oh well me n DVD rooms pm

Where are you grinch ?

Kitty why, what's happened ?

Pony speaking from my own experience, I think that assigning oneself a role as emotional crutch (not crotch, although now I come to think of it, I wouldn't say no....) is a very easy trap to fall into, especially if you're a caring, empathetic person but as with most situations that occur in OD it can act as an impetus to consider what you actually want from a relationship, to move away from a pattern that you've been used to.

Hello Grinchie, Kirsty, Juliette - I bet you're all loved up with Dutchie, Snape - did you say you had an interview this week ? I hope it went well. Twinny, will be in touch, I want to make sure you're safe with Catweazle.

Gay Paree is at a music festival over the weekend, went this morning but has sent me a message tonight - I didn't really expect to hear from him again this weekend ever so the email notification made me all .

I really mustn't start properly liking someone, I feel so much safer with meh.

Evening all.

Kitty what happened to your date, did he disappear or carn't you be bothered?

I've got 3rd date with someone tomorrow. Will see! I like him when I see him but in between I do think I carn't be bothered. Will see tomorrow!

Morning All!

Ah, there's nothing like an early start to the day Wake UPPPPP!

Wine the last time I went to Scotland was for my first (and only) ball, wall to wall farmers, good times

Scrazy yay for third date!

Kin the woo is going to get you NCG/Catweazle is making me swoon, he has a lovely turn of phrase. But all I can think of is...well, what do I usually always think of in these any/all circumstances.

I need to get laid and soon, my fanjo thinks my throat been cut I am off to the gym as soon as the doors open

Tigsy It is really good your DD feels able to talk to you about it all.

Jules Dutchie is with you and you still find time to post. Wow

Hey Pony, this is the place for getting it all out and sorting it all out

Kitty have you worked out what you're wearing yet?

Grinch who, which one of us? I want to know...[curious face]

Travelin with people going on holidays etc it may be the reason for no reply yet. I'd keep looking though.

49 of course I will send you his rainbow jumper if things work out...'I have no idea where that rainbow jumper is?'

Right, here it is, a great big bouncy dollop of early morning WOO!

(Is there room for a big Roar!!!! )

Morning all .. I've been awake for 2 hours .. I am sleeping (or rather not sleeping) on a mattress on the floor at my mum's till the work is finished on my house next Wednesday

Things all still fab with FoF .. He's telling his teenage girls about me this weekend .. Anyone got any tips?

WFF hope the gym works for you .. It usually makes me even more horny

Morning Kirsty, it is great that FoF is working out so effortlessly (no angst). Lucky you

My only tip is to be your lovely self, it will take a little time for everything to feel comfortable and normal. Of course they will like you, because you are lovely and good for their Dad.

Yes, the gym, my church/my meditation as it were. There is a very fine line between, restraining my outrageous libido and actually increasing it four fold. Sometimes I don't get it right, but I couldn't imagine life without being active.

NCG complimented me on my energy and general bounciness

(I am hell to live with, to bright and breezy for most, especially in the morning)

too

His car is playing up so not sure if he can make it.
He was still chatty enough last night , we haven't formally arranged a time etc and he says he don't want to let me down. See what the morning brings.
I'd offer to drive but I can't afford the petrol .

Morning everybody

Such perkiness in the morning - both wrong and disturbing.

STD Man asked me out for a date last night so I'll be seeing him when I'm back darn sarf, Hot Tub is travelling north this weekend, Gay Paree googled 'key holders' after we were discussing what okc had taught us.

The woo is too busy farting around with the rest of you to trouble itself with me, this suits me down to the ground.

Have a spectacular day everybody, anyone out on dates ?

I don't want to leave my nice holiday cottage (we have to in two hours :()

Not really dating related but am procrastinating from putting things in the car by being on mumsnet instead. Will see Mr Nice at some point tomorrow (XH having DC but no idea from when). Am in need of being in bed basically

Morning all. So it all seems to be going very, very well. No Coffee but lots of woo.

Kind of makes me not want to post about it too much though. Much more fun posting about the awful profiles and the wankers but this doesn't feel right somehow.

Kirsty good luck meeting the DCs!

Kitty I"d just stay on your guard with this one. He might be having car trouble, or he might just be keeping his options open and using that as an excuse. From everything you've said so far I just don't get great vibes.

I stupidly tested him but he picking me up later on today !

Now terrified and excited at same time.
Both seem to like animals so this be good . Think it subtle hints for Bristol zoo soon
!

Clothes wise ,going casual nice jeans vest top , shirt, flip flops it pretty much my uniform so to speak .
I'm trying to keep it relaxed.
Think with last dates I tried to much to get them fancy me but I'm hoping he like me for me until last week he'd only seen a pic and I was half hidden by a pet!
If I don't look to chubby in the tight top I'll go for that if not floaty vest lol

Yoga

I knew about the car issues about ten days ago .before we even agreed to meet.
He does car shows and had textedd me to say his car had got a problem ages ago.

Least he making an effort in comming to me for dates as my ex it was always me who went to his .

In a year of dating and me staying there 3_4 nights he never picked me up ext.

Good morning all, the Woo is still alive and well by looks of things

On an unrelated issue, I saw a link on here a few days ago, and have spent almost 4 hours trying to find it again, can anyone remember or help. It was an excellent reference about what a bad relationship looks like, i.e. not accepting a level 8 arsehole because you have been with a level 10. Want to print it off and stick it on my fridge, and share with all my friends. Anyone? Please.

Ah, ok Kitty sorry to have worried you. Hope it's a fun day then!

Jo - was it THIS. Juliet posted it a couple of days ago.

No yoga it's fine.
I'm not a mum so was wary about comming on here but it's great to be able to chat .
I don't really have real life mates and the two I did thought I was with some one ( he was a friend who would do the plus one favours for me) never really owned up as felt stupid getting to 30 nd never been kissed! Plus an all girl working environment you don't need to give peeps something to thEse about.

What I'm trying to say is tar everyone it nice to be able to share!

It now nearly 5 Months since me and Mr car ( need to call him something)
Started to chat and since June funnily enough the day I was dumped we spoken daily x

I'm waffling sorry guys

Hello all. Kin - I think you are right about me using this to sort out patterns that I easily fall into. I am a classic rescuer, I think, and use that aspect of things to make me feel good about a relationship, allowing me to ignore the fact that I'm sometimes not being treated all that well, and sometimes being used. I have found the POF experience useful in a therapeutic sense! while not doing much to help with my dog on heat feelings
Wine - Mr Faffy texted me last night, didn't mentioned the fact that I'd been up till 1.30am talking to him the night before, almost as if it didn't happen!
Juliette your post reminded me to look at the Rules - you are right, it should be fun at this stage, not emotionally draining.

Kirsty pleased to hear things are going well for you, I remember a few of your posts about your ex being a right eejit. Gives me hope!!!!

Hmm, not currently sure about Ben Drew. Although I like his intense eyes in the poster for The Sweeney. Can I admit to a slight Mum-Crush on Ed Sheeran though?

There is something about ed I must admit that lol.

Thank you so much Yoga