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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Ouch, just been dumped by a friend, come and hold my hand...

132 replies

ruggedhitchhiker · 17/08/2013 13:05

...or slap me, not sure which is best

It happens, I know. But it's happened quite a lot, recently - about 4 in the last few years.

I know not every friendship is for life. People move on, get busy, get bored of your jokes. But I liked this one. And can't really tell what I did wrong this time.

I still have a small circle of lovely (tolerant), funny, kind friends who have known me for yonks and still want to hang out (though a very small circle. Let's call it a circlet). But people I could trust and confide in and wouldn't run away fast into the bushes? Apart from my partner, maybe 2.

Does that make me evil? Or crazy?

Please someone come and tell me that it's similar for them.

I need to go and clean something furiously (if you are on the same train line as me, I can be at your house in 40 minutes).

Awwww

OP posts:
Doha · 17/08/2013 21:56

yes yes pwease !! Looking at your MN name we could even be related Grin

Mum2Fergus · 17/08/2013 22:11

Lol now if that's the case you'll be getting relegated immediately!! Smile

Doha · 17/08/2013 22:12

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo !!!!! Sad

Mum2Fergus · 17/08/2013 22:23

I may reconsider if you're from the Rockerfeller/Onnasis side of the family?!

TramadolDaze · 17/08/2013 22:25

Damnit. You said South Coast and cleaning - I was ready to sign on the dotted line! But then clarification that it's not quite the right part of the South Coast so looks like I get to clean my own skirting boards AND have coffee by myself because my only friend is on holiday in France .
Anyway OP - I feel your pain - been through it twice myself recently. It does kind of make you Hmm doesn't it.

Doha · 17/08/2013 22:39

Mum2Fergus

Bill Gates is my brother, the Kardashians are cousins and l am on good name terms with Brad Pitt, Jonny Depp and George Clooney Wink

Will that do?????? (i can but dream)

Where abouts in Jockland are you ?

PeteCampbellsRecedingHairline · 17/08/2013 22:50

I'm very very close to Bournemouth so I think we should arrange a meet up!

There are lots of places between Bournemouth and Winchester that would be suitable. Well I presume so anyway. Grin

teedeeuk · 17/08/2013 23:42

......another South coast person who identifies very much with this thread here!

Mwirren · 18/08/2013 00:42

I'm a single parent and my solicitor mentioned to me that I should make a will. Well, I want to, but the scary thing is that I have to appoint trustees and guardians and executors! that seems like an awful lot of people to have close to you. I was embarrassed at the time to say 'can my brother fulfil all of those roles, because although I have friends (I think, sort of), I have nobody SO close that I would feel comfortable asking them to be a guardian or a trustee or an executor in my will........ so that was nice and cheerful!

Mwirren · 18/08/2013 00:44

I'm also slack jawed at the woman who couldn't get her party down to under 200 invites! I know I had recently re-located and was recently single too, which never helps, but on my fortieth birthday I had 3 people come out to dinner with me. I see them about 3 times a year, each of them. they're lovely people but I couldn't ring any of them at 3 am.... ykwim

dontwannasaywho · 18/08/2013 02:04

ruggedhitchhiker Its a Calvin Harris and Tiesto concert so I dunno how weird it would be going on your own lol

You deserve to be treated with respect, dont let people treat you otherwise, life is too short, Smile

MaryPoppinsBag · 18/08/2013 07:27

I'm in Yorkshire. If anyone else is. Smile

eve34 · 18/08/2013 09:12

Last time I arranged a met up (different site). No one turned up. Although we were all very pg at the time. (There we go making excuses). I would happily come and meet although have 2 kids in tow if it is day time.

RunningWithSharpScissors · 18/08/2013 09:30

dontwannasaywho I go to gigs on my own, it's OK because there are a lot of people around. The difficult bit is at the beginning before they come on, or if there are 2 bands playing, the break in the middle. I'd much rather go with a friend tho :(

SirRaymondClench · 18/08/2013 10:26

I am in West Yorkshire if anyone wants to be my friend

RunningWithSharpScissors · 18/08/2013 13:49

I'm in Berkshire ...

MNBournemouthLE · 19/08/2013 22:58

It looks like there could be meetups for Dorset/Hampshire, Yorkshire and Scotland from this thread. Smile

Whereabouts in Berkshire are you, Running?

eve34 · 20/08/2013 08:29

I work in Berkshire some times. Newbury end is not far away. ?????

Tweet2tweet · 20/08/2013 12:17

Wow- so thrilled to come across this post. Thought only I felt like this! I too seem to be suffering from a reliable friend drought. What did I do? Where did they go? I think I'm an okay person....

Original poster
ruggedhitchhiker · 20/08/2013 13:00

Tweet2tweet, join us. We have exactly the same things going through our heads. Someone (I think it was Rita Rudner??) said 'we're all alone, but we're all in together'.

I am really, really thinking that we really, really have to stop asking ourselves what we are doing wrong, because that is part of the problem?

For example, if I read advice about friendships (ahem - anyone tell anyone that, and they die) - they always recommend that you reflect upon your own behaviour; think about what you need to do to be a good friend, etc etc. But I've done that for years and it doesn't help.

And I'm damn sure that our Dumpsters don't calmly reflect upon her part in our relationship.

I would almost really like to meet up, though I am experiencing High Terror at the thought of just creating more situations to be dumped (Jeez it's complex)

OP posts:
Tweet2tweet · 20/08/2013 20:10

I'd love to have some friends like all on this post. I'm fed up of being there for people and then being dumped when no longer needed. I am also quite upset because a lot of long time friends have recently gone. The only big connection I can see is that 4 who have gone, I couldn't make it to their weddings. I live over 300 miles away from most and didn't want to go to a a. Kareoke wedding b. Go to the wedding of a friend I had to drag out of bed with the best man at her engagement party c. Couldn't afford the £270 gift I had been asked to buy! d. Travel on my own to a wedding 5 days before due to give birth. I thought was all reasonable (okay maybe Kareoke one was a bit picky) but all no longer keep in touch after that.
Should we start a 'dumped friends' club ;)

RubySparks · 20/08/2013 20:23

Also near east coast mainline in Scotland! Agree friends seem to be linked to children's age group, mine now teens at high school so no need to socialise with parents really as they do their own thing and not many of their earlier friendships lasted. Kind of don't mind that though as there were only one or two real friends from the 'mums'.

Mum2Fergus · 20/08/2013 21:24

Hey Ruby...West Lothianer here!

Doha · 20/08/2013 22:47

Glasgow ish West Coast

Doha · 20/08/2013 22:47
Blush
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