DH slept in same bed as another woman - would you be annoyed?

[onesiebore]

DH was away with work this week for a night and since he's been home he's been a bit odd - a little jumpy and quieter than normal. I asked if something was wrong and he said there was something that he felt I should know but he didn't think I'd be very happy about it although he hadn't done anything.

He'd already told me that his colleague Beth had had to leave early as her Dad had died suddenly while they were away and last night he said that he'd ended up staying in her room to make sure she was ok. Apparently she'd found out when they'd been drinking, had gone to bed upset (had been drinking and couldn't drive), he went to check on her and she'd asked him to stay. He swears nothing happened other than giving her a hug and sleeping next to her.

I believe him that nothing else happened but still feel uneasy about it

So, what does the OP do now?

Have been reading this and whilst I think the DH has cheated what on earth are people saying like ring up their work to check?! Like work would give out that info.

Ours would not say/comment especially if we didn't know the caller. If we did know caller (small office past workers are friends) then we may mention it.

Is the level of suspicion on this thread normal? Seriously? Do most people think like this?

I'm finding this one of the most disturbing things I've ever read on here.

If I were OP I'd make a scene demand truth but think her DH will lie and she won't know truth yet anyway.

Personally I think OP will give DH yellow card but keep her eyes open (here's hoping).

Curlew sadly this scenario and his explanations do ring many alarm bells.

Sure it's shocking to see of level of suspicion re this but some respondees have past experience of this.

^^What TSC said.

Personally i think at v least the DH has kissed or embraced Beth at v least. What OP wants to do or if she's ok with that is down to her.

Finding it v hard to believe nothing at all happened.

At TSC so why is OP posting this here unless she has her suspicions?!

So, barring me and I think 3 others, nobody on this thread shares their life with somebody they trust?

I agree with MrsSchadenfreude about the delay. Under 'normal' circumstances, in a 'normal' relationship, something as sad as a bereavement would be mentioned within five minutes of walking through the door.

Obviously, no one knows what actually happened, but the way the OP OH is dealing with this is very suspicious.

Sleeping in the same bed as someone by way of condolence is just not appropriate under any circumstances.

When my on DF died all I wanted was to go home and be with my family, same when my DM died.

Maybe just "Love thy neighbour as thyself" put into practice by a wonderful, thoughtful man?

Presumably hell be going to the funeral and as his dw you will be going with him OP? You will see there if they are too close/ absolutely fine and that will help?

I would have trusted XH in a similar scenario without question

Now though, having discovered good people lie and do bad things, I would probably have doubts

I think that you have asked the question OP so you arent happy and you should examine why you havent accepted his explanation happily

OP what did your OH do when Beth woke up? Did he stay while she washed and dressed? I doubt he will admit that if he did. But if he left her room at that point, how does he know what time she actually left?

I can accept that he was concerned and that he wanted to be of help but sleeping in the same bed just is not on, not acceptable, and I can only think that he did that because he wanted to.

If I found myself in that situation then I can see myself wanting to make sure my friend/colleague was ok but never would I be hugging him and sleeping in the same bed as him.

Whatever else happened no one can know but in your shoes I would be snooping like mad.

I feel for you. What a horrible situation to be in.

myroomisatip is right, he would have told you about the bereavement within minutes of walking through the door if it was innocent.

TSC - he didn't 'give her a hug'. He slept with her. BIG difference.

Try to put yourself in Beths' situation. Would you want a colleague, or even a friend, to share your bed under those circumstances?

I cannot think of anyone, not even particularly my DH (at the time, now my Ex). I know everyone is different but really, at that level of grief, a hug can be comforting, but sleeping with someone? Urgh... That implies a high level of intimacy which, alone, is unacceptable.

Only the OP really knows her OH. How would he react if the OP had suffered same bereavement?

OP, can you ask Beth to confirm nothing more happened? What would your dh do if you asked him to allow you to contact her?

She might have needed 'comfort' that night but surely not at the expense of her colleague's marriage.