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Original poster

Should I start seeing first love again ?

75 replies

mamas12 · 10/08/2013 20:10

Just as it says
I have been single for 7 years He is newly single after an on/off relationship of 6 years
I know the saying 'never go back' and I agree, I know he a flakey kind of person as in he is easily led, anything for an easy life sort.
I don't think it will last and may not end well due to history BUT
I am lonely, I would love to have some attention/affection in my life
Is that good enough reason to be reckless?

OP posts:
Original poster
mamas12 · 10/08/2013 20:18

Just to compound things I am best friends with his sister and I'm worried about the triangle - someone will fall out with the others so it might end up them against me or at least a strained atmosphere
OR we could all be one happy family!!!

OP posts:
professorgrommit · 10/08/2013 20:19

Yes! Either old love will be rekindled for the good OR half way through your cup of coffee etc you will recall why you broke up with great clarity and never call again. Either way a good outcome!

Original poster
mamas12 · 10/08/2013 20:29

Perhaps you're right
I may be overthinking it
It's too complicated in my head , I haven't had a date in 25 years and freaking out
We are both different now...

OP posts:
professorgrommit · 10/08/2013 20:47

Then make it a coffee and very importantly have zero expectations. Take it from there as if its a horror you can skip off asap without offense. If the sparks still there, a second cup. Don't make it into too much in your head. Instaed think, wwhat have you got to lose?

12345Floris · 10/08/2013 20:53

Life's short. Go for it. You'll soon see some signs as to why you weren't suited first time round :)

Stubbed · 10/08/2013 20:54

Ha ha I did this and what a shock. He wasn't the cool, sophisticated teenager that he was the first time. He was a needy, emotional, broke pot head with an anger problem. Lasted 3 months. It certainly corrected the nostalgic romance in my memory!

Stubbed · 10/08/2013 20:54

Nb. Do it or you'll never know.

Original poster
mamas12 · 10/08/2013 20:55

Thanks for answering I can't talk to best friend about it of course
Shit I ll go for it and ill let you know if it was worth it

OP posts:
Original poster
mamas12 · 10/08/2013 21:00

Oh no stubbed!
I know what's gone on in his life through sister but haven't actually seem him for years
Well he always made me laugh anyway which I am in dire need along with affection god I'm sounding desperate!

OP posts:
professorgrommit · 11/08/2013 09:01

What a "no"! Forget it. The mans a fool! But stop putting yourself down and get proactive. There's a lovely man out there to love you and for you to love. Go find him!

LadyMud · 11/08/2013 09:30

Prof G, the OP was just commenting on someone else's story! Nothing's happened yet.

Original poster
mamas12 · 11/08/2013 09:39

Ha thanks for the advice though !
Won't be seeing him til next week actually but I'm definitely overthinking it because I haven't 'had' 'seen' anyone for yeeeeeears eek j
And he knew me when I was a skinny pert 18 yr old !

OP posts:
jay55 · 11/08/2013 10:08

Why did you split first time?

Imogencodpiece · 11/08/2013 10:20

Hi :) Mammas12, I did this last year and it was the best decision I ever made!
Met first love for a drink back in august 2011, didn't think much of it at first but we got talking and I now feel like iv been waiting for him my whole life! long story short, he moved to my city last march i was pregnant by june and we were living together by december, we now have a bouncing baby boy and are very happy together. i say give it a go! what exactly have you got to lose?

Dawnywoo · 11/08/2013 10:24

Oh, mamas I don't want to hijack your thread but I'm in exactly the same position and am also meeting my first love next week for coffee with a view to rekindling... I do hope we haven't had out rose tinted glasses on. Anyway, just to say, deep breath and go for it. That's what I'm going to do anyway.

The pert 18 year old bit made me laugh - same here!!! (although we met up briefly 6 yrs ago)

Imogen that's so wonderful.

Original poster
mamas12 · 11/08/2013 10:34

Wow Imogen that's amazing

Dannywoo please come back and let me know how it went and we'll compare notes so to speak

Jay that's my biggest problem the way it ended 'twas very sad and I didn't see my friend for years after that either

OP posts:
Dawnywoo · 11/08/2013 10:47

mamas Will do.

Have you arranged a day yet?

I'm supposed to be meeting on Wednesday but it may revolve around work commitments.

I hope the way it ended was something to do with being young, that way, it might not apply now you are both older and wiser?

Original poster
mamas12 · 11/08/2013 11:42

Well we were very young, together for a bout two years.
The bald facts are I got pregnant he said he couldn't be a dad at that time and I realised I wasn't ready to be a mum either so had a termination Hmmand relationship didn't surviveHmm
Loads more finer detail obviously
And apart from three other in the whole wide world I've never shared that before in all these years!
That's what I mean about our history

OP posts:
Original poster
mamas12 · 11/08/2013 16:58

Oookaaaay killed my own thread
No one can cope with this scenario then

OP posts:
GilmoursPillow · 11/08/2013 18:51

Who has suggested you meet up again?

ImperialBlether · 11/08/2013 18:55

I'd leave well alone. In certain circumstances I would say yes, go on, but not now.

He's flakey. You associate him with a bad time in your life. You're lonely and vulnerable. You risk losing your best friend over it.

Ask your friend to help you find someone new, but keep away from her brother.

coffeewineandchocolate · 11/08/2013 18:55

I don't know the circumstances change anything if you were both involved in making the decision. You say you know what he is like (flaky) so as long as you don't emotionally invest more than him out could be fun

Original poster
mamas12 · 11/08/2013 20:18

Yep those are the reasons Imperial why I'm hesitating you are right but
But then if I am aware I could just have some fun?

OP posts:
Wibblypiglikesbananas · 11/08/2013 20:22

I did this and we're now happily married with DC2 on the way! I'd say meet up and see - if you don't, you'll always wonder what could have been.

If it works out, great. If it doesn't, you've tried and laid a ghost to rest.

Good luck!

Dawnywoo · 12/08/2013 07:53

Hi mamas sorry I haven't had a chance to come back since yesterday morning. It was very brave of you to share your story.

I still think you should do it (I think pretty much every one agrees) because you will be forever left wondering otherwise. Just be aware that you are lonely and its easy to get caught up. Go with your gut instinct when you see him. I really hope it works out.

If it helps at all, in my own situation I am wildly swinging between my instinct screaming 'leave well alone' and 'I've got to see him' which is mainly due to months of frustrating texts to each other.

I now need to fill in the gaps. Unless I see him I will never know.