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Original poster

Should I start seeing first love again ?

75 replies

mamas12 · 10/08/2013 20:10

Just as it says
I have been single for 7 years He is newly single after an on/off relationship of 6 years
I know the saying 'never go back' and I agree, I know he a flakey kind of person as in he is easily led, anything for an easy life sort.
I don't think it will last and may not end well due to history BUT
I am lonely, I would love to have some attention/affection in my life
Is that good enough reason to be reckless?

OP posts:
Original poster
mamas12 · 12/08/2013 14:06

Thank you everyone for your input
I think the general consensus is go and find out
So I think I will and then let you know

OP posts:
Dawnywoo · 20/08/2013 20:45

Did you meet him then mamas?

Mine ended up not happening due to his work commitments. I have a sneaking suspicion fate is trying to tell me something.

I'm still veering wildly between thinking he may be the love of my life and he's a bit of a selfish pratt.

It's never going to be that easy as we live 300 miles apart. Can't decide between giving up on it or continuing going round in circles...

Hoping you have had better luck!

VEBott · 21/08/2013 00:19

After 20 year separation, I met and fell back in love pretty instantly with my first love (17-20) at 40. Thank heavens it was mutual. Both of us deliriously happy for the next 25 years, so much in common, we feel like we're still 19 when we're together.

So give it a whirl OP, could be great.

Original poster
mamas12 · 23/08/2013 20:11

Oh wow two very different outcomes there sorry and pleased to hear that
Well I saw him at a semi works thing first where there wasn't a lot of privacy but managed to make a date for this sat
Very strange feelings were stirred up and I think I'm quite looking forward to seeing him on his own just to see why I'm so conflicted in whether this will be a good thing or not

Btw i think his sis/my friend is giving subtle, not so subtle hints to put me off eek
I will report back

OP posts:
JustBecauseICan · 23/08/2013 20:13

Hope everything goes well for you Mama!

(I am rather relieved that my first love lives on the other side of the continent to me as seeing him again would rock my world and possibly not only mine....)

Original poster
mamas12 · 23/08/2013 20:14

Dawnywoo
Give him one more chance I think and go from there

OP posts:
Original poster
mamas12 · 23/08/2013 20:16

Vbott
Thanks kind of like what I'd like it to be for us but such a lot has happened in our lives I just don't know till I see him
It's so lovely to hear that it can happen thanks for sharing Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
mamas12 · 23/08/2013 20:18

Just because
Really? That's sort of how our relationship was but don't know if that's sustainable!
Please do tell me more though

OP posts:
JustBecauseICan · 23/08/2013 20:23

No time now, but will be back! Smile

Original poster
mamas12 · 24/08/2013 23:07

O
M
G
What have I stirred up?
Wow I feel strange and weird and admired and unsure and I don't know really
He started off by apologising for the way he treated me way back when so that floored me I just didn't expect that at all
We reminisced a bit, allowed, half an hour to bitch about our exes then tried to figure out where 'this ' was going
Ended up with a nice little cuddle and a kiss and drove our separate ways home
Glad I went but no further on whether or not I'm going to carry on a relationship

OP posts:
Dawnywoo · 26/08/2013 09:32

Wow mamas Well that's a quite good start I'd say isn't it? It all sounds rather exciting actually.

Maybe arrange to meet up again and see how that goes. One step at a time. Have you spoken on the phone since? May be an idea. Then you can say how lovely it was to see him...

This is what I would like to do in my situation, but he is fixated with logistics and always thinking way ahead. (i.e. where would we live if we were to get together etc so I'm still no further forward)

Good luck, and keep us posted.

Original poster
mamas12 · 26/08/2013 15:02

Dawny hmm he sounds as if he wants a future with you but what about the present?
Mine says he's going to write me letters.
He lives a couple of hours away but we have agreed on a middle ground meetin point 'for the next time' meanwhile we plan to speak on the phone once a week and then meet up

OP posts:
Dawnywoo · 28/08/2013 12:27

Letters sound lovely. I find texting is becoming more and more frustrating. Much more appropriate to set out ones thoughts and feelings in a letter. Especially when so much time has passed and there is so much to catch up on. It will be like getting to know him all over again - one of the nicest parts of a relationship I think.

A couple of hours is doable I guess when you talk about a middle ground. It all sounds like a very sensible plan. I've got my fingers crossed for you that it blossoms into something lovely.

Mine still isn't happening. He says its work, but he's blowing hot and cold in my eyes. Meanwhile, I have developed a terrible crush on my postman!! Blush

Dawnywoo · 28/08/2013 12:29

he sounds as if he wants a future with you but what about the present?

By the way, mamas I am going to use that line when I next speak to him.

Original poster
mamas12 · 29/08/2013 09:28

Ha glad to be if service dawny

I thought letters was a romantic thing too and am looking forward to receiving the first I one

Well I would say you do need to see him face to face just the once to do the 'chemistry test'
Good luck

OP posts:
Original poster
mamas12 · 29/08/2013 09:29

Re postman why don't you suggest to your old flame to start writing letters too so you could see postman more often Grin

OP posts:
Dawnywoo · 29/08/2013 20:47

Great idea. Double win! Grin

I remember writing / receiving letters as a teenager. Length always seemed impressive (i.e. it was SIX pages long) we did tend to waffle a lot though.

Original poster
mamas12 · 08/09/2013 01:29

Well I had my letter and was a lovely letterSmile
And now we have been on a date. We brought some of our old photos to laugh over and we seemed to get on really well
I am not used to compliments at all which is awkward and I'm definitely not used to being kissed - stubble burn!
I feel a bit like a teenager and its a bit weird, for those of you who have gone through this when did it stop being weird?

OP posts:
GrumpyOldNag · 08/09/2013 02:13

Oh this is so exciting! Please keep us updated Grin I met my DH again after spending an intense summer abroad, falling in love and then not being able to see each other for love nor money for a couple of years afterwards until I turned up out of the blue in his city with no money and no plans when I was 19. And that was it, we've been married ever since! Tell us all about the horrible-naice squeezy stomach feeling and everything Wink We're living through you!!

glastocat · 08/09/2013 02:39

A friend of mine arranged a date with her teenage sweetheart after the break up of her 27 year marriage. They are blissfully happy together now, I've never seen a better matched couple.

Original poster
mamas12 · 08/09/2013 08:43

Wow it seems this is a 'thing' then
I dreamt if him last night but I don't know whether its because of the closeness of a man I'm liking and feeling, or its him?
Maybe it's both
Nothing physical happening yet but we ended up kissing and cuddling in his car! Just like a couple if teenagers again, we live a fair way away from each other and I haven't told my kids that I'm seeing him yet so we're both driving to meet each other and taking it slowly
Hmmm it's my turn to write him a letter now, there is a lot of emotion around I really am not used to the attention which is lovely

OP posts:
Original poster
mamas12 · 08/09/2013 08:44

Also talked a bit about the fact that his sister/my friend is 'in the middle and we have to be sensitive about that
What a wired little triangle eh!

OP posts:
Chigley1 · 08/09/2013 08:55

How exciting! I did just what you're doing about 15 years ago. Reader, I married him.

Original poster
mamas12 · 08/09/2013 09:14

Chigly! How many years between seeing each other?
I'm also thinking as he knew me when I was a pert 20 year old I need to 'tone up' so to speak
Do you think I cd do a 30 day shred in three weeks?

OP posts:
Bumpstarter · 08/09/2013 09:33

Good luck!