What do you make of this text exchange?

[happinessisfree]

Had a gut feeling so checked dh phone. Messages between him and another woman. I know who this woman is he calls her a friend. Seen a few text exchanges berween them including.

DH: Call me at 9:30

OW: I will call once he has gone to work.

And

DH: Is 11 o clock ok

OW: I can meet you in town or are you free Saturday.

I have not confronted him I want to see some more evidence I dont want him to squirm out of it. I have been cheated on before I dont trust my own judgement. Am i crazy or is this suspect?

He seemed more concerned I had phoned this Ow. Really worried her husband would find out and the consequences of this. Said she is going through a hard time at present her relationship is nearly broken up and I may have got her in trouble. Erm whatever.

That would be fair enough, IF you'd always been in the know. If he'd always told you about her problems she's having and that he was going to help her fair enough,

He has been dishonest and I'm glad you're not taking any shit from him! Secrecy only happens when theirs something dodgy going on!

Said she is going through a hard time at present her relationship is nearly broken up and I may have got her in trouble.

Yeah yeah yeah. Bovvered?

And that would be your concern - why ?

The fact he's more bothered about he consequences for her rather than how you feel would do it for me

She's going through a hard time?

Where's that tiny violin when you need it?

Well done, OP.

I suspect the OW will retreat into her marriage now that the threat of being caught out has been upped, leaving your husband on his lonesome. Diddums. Don't buy any of his snivelling when he comes crawling back

Ah... so she's been through a hard time, and her relationship is on the skids?

No shit sherlock, that's what happens when you sneak around!

Now she can return the support now that HE'S out on his arse.

What a deluded pair of twats!

Is the hard time trying to work out how to shag someone else's husband while screwing over her own? .

Happy, here is the list I got when I finally stopped believing his lies after 5 years of infidelity, which I suspected:

You didn't see anything on the computer- look, it isn't there
You have a suspicious mind
You are never happy if I have time to myself ( for that, read ALL the time )
If I have been refusing sex with you it is your fault
You are controlling me and just want power over me through lying

And finally:

You are mentally unwell- for some reason I can't understand. Because of this you are inventing this paranoid nonsense in order to upset the family, put the kids in turmoil, and only because you have nothing else in your life.( I had just list my job, after being the major provider for years).

A month later, when shown the door after a fruitless month at Relate, he admitted all and said he had been manipulating me.

See? That's what they do, when cornered. Blame you. Call anyone you need to and tell all. Don't let him make you doubt yourself.

You have been magnificent.

You are impressive, OP

Him ? He is an inadequate fuck up.

Would you tolerate anyone else trying to treat you like a fool ?

Well done OP, you have done the right thing.
Your DH is pissed that his little secret has been rumbled so don't stand any of his lies when he returns.
He will try to make you believe this is all in your head. If he does ask him to explain all the text exchanges you have, it would be interesting to see what shit if cones up with to explain!

Yeah yeah. She is going through a hard time, and he is being her knight in shining armour. Lapping up the adoration and attention from her, the ego boost. And that is all your fault?

You are so much better without this. He hasn't even had the decency to say he has fucked up and to say sorry.

Stay strong op. You rock.

Well, now that his relationship too is broken up he'll be able to sympathise properly with her problems. Isn't that nice.

The old song of "Look What You Made Me Do!" along with the clap along version of "Poor OW" with an encore of, "I Haven't Been Happy For Years" yawn-fest.

Anyone asks in rl, "He made certain choices, so I made up my mind".

He will say what he can to placate you. IN order of appearance (bingo card at the ready)

1- she is just a friend who is going through a hard time. I have been supporting her as a friend.
2- she likes me, I dont like her. She has tried it on once or twice when drunk but I just walked away. I promise.nothing happened.
3- we kissed one night. It meant nothing.
4- we fooled around one night, I was drunk and stupid but I swear it was just once.
5- she is stalking me. We had one night together and she is using it. I was talking to her to gwt hwr to stay quiet. I was trying to protect you.
6- it has been going on a while. You never have time for me. You treat me like a friend. You pushed me away.

1. You ignore me in favour of the children

8- I was a fool. I felt like I never got any attention. She gave me that attention. It was my ego.

1. You emasculated me and I needed to get positive attention from elsewhere. It's all your fault.

10.Let's work on our relationship. We can go away for sexy weekends without children, date nights, you can dress like a sex object for me and give me more blow jobs. All will be well then if I get rewarded for cheating (until the next time)

10 She has mental health issues, I tried telling her to get lost because I love you but she threatened to kill herself.

11 You've changed so much since the children were born (I'm still an irresponsible fucker )

OP you sound so together. You deserve so much more than this.

Depression or exceptional pressure at work - both hitherto unmemtioned - might also get a mention.

153 You don't trust me so I thought I might as well cheat.

12. I know you're not in love with me.
13. You don't show me affection.
14. You know things haven't been right between us for ages.

All equate to - he's a dick

15. We were fighting a lot