The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off To Find The Summer Sun and Sobriety!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to the Bus, take a seat and enjoy the ride. We're a Bus full of drinkers, non-drinkers, those who are trying to give up for life, those who are giving up for a few hours because that's all that they can manage (which is fine!) or quitting just for today......

We don't wear Judgey Pants (they're far too last year darhling ) but we have hugs a plenty and tough love when it's needed. Which isn't often!

So, what have you got to lose? If you're reading this, you're thinking that you are no longer happy with the way you drink, which tells me that this is the Bus for you. :)

If you'd like to see where we've been so far and what we've been up to, take a peek HERE

And if you want to knnow why we're here in the first place, take a look at THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE :)

See you soon x

hello ma its not the sweetie wrappers that bother me, its all the old chip papers, god! it stinks in here! and what the devil are these? (holds up rather odd looking flat heeled shoes found under the seat!)

Hahaha - oops sorry Jesus if I knew you were coming I'd have baked a cake. Or some other such domestic godesty

Actually Silver did warn us to clear up the old place, does she know something we don't know

Just popped in myself actually and haven't caught up but wanted to say hi

Oh yeah and blame Mouse for the cheesy smell, not my old shoes

< legs it >

Ummmm, well we've been too busy to tidy up what with all the new babes and all.
. Might I offer you a cup of tea?

< shoves Spirit under blanket with Barrie >

I totally forgot we had a dog in the sidecar.

Just popping in to say night to you all. I'm knackered.

JWN - you are a star! I have missed you, we've all missed you so much!! Good to see you post, no matter how much or little! Just so you know, in about 3 weeks, yours and Ma's adopted fishboy, Nemo, is going to 'big school' and starts with half days, then builds up to full. He's supper excited, we're waiting on test results for ASD and Aspergers to add to his list currently.....

But that's life and t could be much worse :)

Lots of love to you all,

Mouse xxx

Mouse being remembered means a lot right now, thanks.

There's a dog in the sidecar?

Day 3. Again.

Reading through the first thread and also Wanttodie/Strawberries stories. Amazing.

What I'm doing isn't working. I last a few months and then back again. I'll keep reading.

The view from the sidecar with Spirit the dog

Joey how can you not have noticed him in there - he's usually wedged between Isinde and Ladame with ma jostling for a bit of space

Shit. Should I not have put those names together? If not, can you please report my post so it's deleted?

Right, have caught up with thread now.

Drunk equals out of control and I know that this is the bit I like best

chippit that's the bit I used to like the best. That fuzzy feeling before you have too much. But it's such a short window. That lovely euphoric high is followed by depression and then the hangover twins of Paranoia and Regret.

Oh how I came to despise those feelings. The health worries, racing heart, sweating, out of control...

I hated it so much. Now I do everything I can to avoid that drunk feeling. If I feel drunk I've gone too far. I hate it with a passion and don't do it anymore.

Funny, I used to really like it.

Annie how did it go?

This I just keep thinking why me why do I have to have this problem I'm only 27 I this what I've got to look forward to for the rest of my life

That thought used to scare me rigid. I was so upset and frightened about having to deal with this all by myself. It's horrid, I know. But, you know what, it's ok. It will be ok. We are all here to help and we understand.

You can do this my lovely, there are loads of strategies you can use. Once you stop drinking it gets easier. You have a whole lovely life ahead of you and you can do whatever you want with it. I wish I was 27 again.

I would tell myself to be kind to myself, stop being so critical. Stop worrying and look after myself. Eat well, get a bit of exercise, look after your teeth and your knees . There is so much more to life than drinking. Knock it on the head, kick it to the kerb, chuck it in now and live the life you deserve. You can have a whole heap of fun without drinking. Believe me, I know

thornrose Hi, I remember you posting way back. Come back and post again, it really helps to keep in touch and get some support.

greeney did you ever know that you're my hero Well done for getting right back into it, I am impressed. You rock!

Mouse yes I got your pm lovely We are like ships in the night at the moment, never seem to be on the bus at the same time. Sorry to hear your trip was crap. I've had some dodgy accommodation in my time but not something you want to risk with Nemo. I have one buried memory of a yha in London when I was pregnant < shiver >

Again don't worry about it, I'm sure the poster is fine with us being able to see her back story. She is a star and an inspiration to us all.

Sorry for the mahoosive post, it's been the first chance I've had to catch up properly. I've got into a really bad habit of late nights and late mornings 'cos I'm on school hols at the moment and my teenagers are happy to lie in but I made myself get up early this morning (or rather yesterday morning) to get things done.

Had a massively productive day, got loads sorted, yet here I am again up late. Ah well, never mind. I safe, I'm sober, that's all that matters x

Morning all just posting quickly before I go out. I didn't drink with my friend last night, we went for a meal and I really enjoyed it :) At least I know as well that I genuinely had a good time, it wasn't alcohol induced. Just a side thought, I've realised I use wine on the rare occasions when I go out if I'm not really enjoying myself to 'improve' the company/occasion

So day 3 today. Taking the kids out all day so thankfully I've had a good nights sleep and I'm not groggy. They're fighting already and my nerves are on edge, and everytime dh opens his mouth I feel intensely irritated - at least I know I'm not annoyed because I feel rough but every evening I'm sober he grates on me....

Morning - last day with in laws - No drinking being done by me :).

15 weeks AF today :). - Do I miss it- no not really.

The WW is mostly not there now - she sneaks up on me though when I am hormonal or out of sorts.

Off to euro Disney tomorrow :). - yay -
A big shout out to pink - hope you are ok lovely :)
JWN - don't know you but lovely for you to co eon and post.
Right best go shopping :)

faire thanks for the link

oh my word!!! nemo at 'big school'! next thing it will be *isindis' duo off to Roedean!!

Hi babes, have had a terrible few days, everything has come to a head and if I continue to drink at this level I will end up on a very dark place. My crohn's and depression are sky high and behaviour towards my beautiful family and parents is not the real me at all. I have decided that
Today is the first day of the rest of my life, this reading your post made me cry, I feel every sentiment in my own situation. I will buddy up with you or anyone else, I sure could use a friend, hugs every babe everywhere

babyj sweetheart you sound like you are in a really bad place. Can you get to your GP and ask for an urgent referral as your Crohns is not under control? It must feel very scary to have that hanging over you, its no wonder you turn to drink. Have you thought about counselling or anti-depressants to help you manage? They are not a cure-all, but they can help you feel a bit more in control.

You are battling two different diseases (Crohns and alcoholism) and it must be exhausting. Of course it doesn't excuse any behaviour towards loved ones, but it is understandable.

joey your kind words are a real comfort, your right, my crohn's pain is extreme and I've lost a lot of blood but I'm on steroids now so hoping for an improvement. I know wine is not helpful but it seemed to "take the edge off " I want my life back, a sober and peaceful one x x x

Well basically alcohol IS medicating you because other drugs are not being very effective. You're using it to control symptoms of pain, anxiety, depression etc. So in that sense it is helping, but it is not the best way to do it.

Which is why it may be a good idea to go back to the doctor, or consultant if you are getting nowhere at the GPs. Separate out what you need:

1. improved treatment for Crohns/surgery
2. better pain relief
3. treatment for anxiety/depression

Stop beating yourself up. If modern medicine is not treating you effectively, then of course you will turn to something which you know has helped in the past! I'm not excusing the alcohol, it's not a long-term answer, just saying that there is a genuine reason, which needs looking at instead of the vicious circle of guilt/pain/drink you are in.

baby many [hugs] to you.

I think that that joey bird is absolutely right and that the alcohol seems as though it 'helps' dull the pain. Crohns sounds really tough to me, so look after yourself,don't be too hard.

Afternoon babes, just checking in.

Babyjane Sorry you're feeling so awful sweetheart. Can't add any more advice than you've already been given by wiser babes, just a ((hug)).
Hi Green, Guggs Lon, Faire, Ma Joey and all new babes

Ma I completely identify with the winebox thing - Get the inner bag out, try and squeeze some more through the nozzle, then cut off a corner see if that works. You get half a glass of rubbish, which makes you want to go out and buy a bottle because it's not enough. Then you feel so pathetic that you could just sit and bang your head on the table in despair at what lengths you will go to, just for that. Yeah, been there. Many times.

My God was that the dog with us in the sidecar? I wondered what was finishing up all the leftovers, it's a wonder the poor thing can fit in here with all our fat arses, crumbs, trays, cups and chocolate wrappers.

Waves at Obrigada

afternoon Campers

I'm still here - still reading.

For those who are interested I think the reason that baclofen works, is because it treats the underlying ANXIETY, that for me is at the root of my drinking. remove the anxiety and thus remove the need to 'treat' that anxiety with alcohol.

it is a bit of a hit and miss drug, in that you have to find the right dosage for you (loosely based on weight to mg doses).

when I first committed properly to not drinking I had been taking the baclofen for about a month while still drinking - but at drastically reduced amounts.

I then made the decision to stop, and at quite high doses of baclofen, honestly and truly, I found it easy.

Then after a while of no alcohol I started to break the HABIT - of always having a glass of wine in my hand, of opening the fridge and opening the bottle as soon as I got home from work, of clock watching on the weekends until it was a 'reasonable' time to start drinking.

I got used to having a glass of lime and fizzy water by my side, and even this over time, didn't become so necessary - I didn't have to have a glass of any liquid in reach at all times. I stopped thinking about alcohol - it wasn't on my radar. Of course I thought about it now and then, but it wasn't the all consuming, beast that had ruled my every waking thought. I was free of guilt.

I began to look back at the way I drank and was amazed at how I could have functioned when constantly hungover - amazed at the capacity I had to drink huge amounts (two bottles a session) - and yet still get up and go to work.

we went on holiday and I drank 'normally' - a couple of glasses of vino in a cafe in the evening - no need for wine in our apartment. no obsessing about where the next drink was coming from. It was wonderful.

DP looked on in wonder as I transformed from a dehydrated, wizened, grumpy, tired and depressed wreck into the person I was always meant to be - vivacious, pretty, well rested, full of energy, happy, confident and glad to be alive.

I then made a mistake, in that because I was feeling so well, I decided to come off the anti depressant I was on, in part also because of the lack of libido I was suffering as a side effect - in turn affecting my relationship.

Disaster - I spiralled very quickly in a deep pit of depression and spent my first Christmas without my DM. DP as is usual went of skiing on Boxing Day, and all bets were off. I drank freely, not even attempting th control my intake. I was a mess.

I went back on the ADs and pulled myself around and as I began to feel better I upped my baclofen and kicked the booze into touch again. I could just have a bottle of wine once a week safe in the knowledge that I could easily remain AF through the week.

I don't really know what happened, but I began to slip, and one bottle a week became two (still OK I reasoned, compared to before...)

Then the odd mid week bottle - and so it went on.....

I am getting back on track- we are off on holiday tomorrow for a couple of weeks with three teenagers in tow

I will drink while we are there, but sensibly, and no wine in the flat, only when out and not during the day.

When we get back I will stop again completely for a good period of time, and get back to where I was - guilt free.

I am not worried or stressing abouth this, because with the baclofen I know I can do it.

TO me, it is truly a wonder drug, it has saved my life.

I am lucky enough to get baclofen prescribed privately - at the moment it is not licenced in this country to be prescribed for alcohol addiction, but it will be very soon.

That's my story