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Original poster

The Dating Thread - episode 60

999 replies

Djangounhinged · 31/07/2013 17:21

If I may?

OP posts:
DadfromUncle · 02/08/2013 10:58

Secret I love "tactical tactility" - I am going to write that one down.

JulietteMontague · 02/08/2013 11:08

Secret so he really did go from the hand dump to up the skirt? The up the skirt move used to follow swiftly if the and wasn't removed. He must have the dating manual circa 1974*. What was he like during the sex, considerate, giving? If you didn't get those two plus hopefully some caring or affection then what's the point of him.

*even that demanded a man go down and stay down until 'the job'' was done Hmm The Joy of Sex, wasn't.

Dad good luck!

KinNora · 02/08/2013 11:11

Have a marvellous time Django , Secret - is being with him fun ? If not I refer you to The Rules and forza Dad !

Secretservice · 02/08/2013 11:14

Oh no stranger please don't be depressed on my account. I don't think it's to do with crumbs. I'm not sure if the hands-off approach is because he doesn't really like me that much and just wanted a shag, in which case he won't contact me again or if he does like me but is just inept, in which case he may contact me and I may see him again just to get a firmer handle on things.

But what I'm not doing is waiting for him to call. In fact just managed to unearth another PoF oddball, who has just invited me to dinner tomorrow night ... With his friends!

Oh and another last night whose 'passion is in compliance and strategic quality management' - heart be still Grin

JulietteMontague · 02/08/2013 11:17

Secret fnarr at' firmer handle on things' Grin

ALittleStranger · 02/08/2013 11:18

Haha, and this is why I fall down at internet dating. I'd take a "passion for compliance" as evidence of a very dry sense of humour. And then be very disappointed on the date!

Secretservice · 02/08/2013 11:29

nora yes he was fun to be with when sex was only a possibility - free-flowing conversation, made me laugh - but possibly not always when he intended! But that dried up somewhat after his lunge-induced lust had been slaked!

Oh I don't know Juliette, he was quite 'giving' at first, but then maybe an element of right that's you sorted - even though I wasn't - now it's my turn.

Fuck! I'm minimising like hell here aren't I? The shag wasnt even ok, was it? Aaaaarrrggh

Secretservice · 02/08/2013 11:32

juliette Grin and you have the gall to accuse poor Nora of dragging the thread into the gutter!!

KinNora · 02/08/2013 11:44

Bin him off Secret, he sounds like the personification of 'crumbs' .

Flipper934 · 02/08/2013 11:55

Secret, I can see why you'd give him the benefit of the doubt, but the going cold after DTD bothers me.

Good luck, Dad.

Thanks for your opinions, that's what I thought really, that this is what I'd done in the past and made a mistake, and when much younger. If it was a close friend, Kirsty, I think I'd warn her to be careful, and be sure of what she was doing - i've known too many people lose their own social lives to a relationship and regret it later. Like you say, as long as they're enjoying themselves...

DadfromUncle · 02/08/2013 12:25

oh Snape I don't think you need good luck for the pizza concept, (it's fantastic) but good luck.

Snapespeare · 02/08/2013 12:55

i'm absolutely bricking it. rubbish idea, which can only be met with 'that's nice' Hmm needs to be done, though. move it on, see what happens. I'm actually OK about it as it hasn't involved considerable time and effort.

i saw the youtube video this morning where a guy sits his gf on the open boot of his brothers car and all their friends & family perform an elaborate dance routine to 'i think i want to marry you' before he walks up and proposes and I burst into tears! Blush I was on the bus FFS. it's a lot easier being a cynical hard-ass. Hmm :)

secret I'd take a 'passion for compliance' as being a sub.

lorna I think it's Ok to mention the flat as some people do set some store by home-ownership, but constantly mentioning it would suggest that he thinks it's important and that would possibly put off people who don't give a fig. If it's accompanied by a looking-down-your-nose' at social housing, that would be a difference of opinion that even the prettiest face could not compensate.

OWW

flipper yes, I personally think that's odd. it's not a race. seeing someone every night means that you aren't seeing your friends/family and I dislike people who get in a relationship and then ditch everyone else. I'd get bored pretty quickly with that - I'm all for slow and steady wins the race.

you're all lovely! no particular reason, you just are. that's why I still hang out here.

lubeybooby · 02/08/2013 13:00

Secretservice yes absolutely right! I am glad it turned out this way

OWW yes I've spoken to BC. Awkward and he seems a bit gutted (although gracious and has gone back under his rock) but really he should know I'm not the simpering hanging around type and I had no clue of his plans so tough shit. Frankly.

lurkinglorna · 02/08/2013 13:00

"i want a feminine woman in touch with her sexuality"

(from a very potatoish potato).

Hmm
Overtheraenbow · 02/08/2013 13:01

secret!i agree with the others : nothing worse than a cold wet fish!! One of the reasons I told Woody not to bother when he said he was t certain about us was that in 4 dates he barely touched me( and as I am georgeous there was no reason for it hehe) I had 2 years in my ( ex) marriage trying to get affection and love from twatface so don't need it from some bloke I hardly know!!
So back on the horse and keep looking. Last night 2 chaps on pof ( one 10 years older and the ither 10 years younger ) now while I low age is not necessarily an issue where are all the men born in the same decade as me ( presumably with thief wives!!??) oh well keep hoping but with a child free week ahead going to have to do some fast work!! :)

Overtheraenbow · 02/08/2013 13:02

Sorry for typos 'their wives' not theif wives tho .... Lol

Overtheraenbow · 02/08/2013 13:04

Oh older bloke just told me where and when he's meeting his mates tonight !! Hmmm......

lurkinglorna · 02/08/2013 13:06

snape good luck. I'd say the declaration for the sake of it it worth it - love is something that SHOULD be expressed not just in a "tit for tat" way?

I think i probably said "I do love you" a few times and didn't get one back, but it was more important for me i actually said it and got it out and i don't regret it?

thanks for all the opinions re: owning flat statement. he's not my most interesting contact at the moment, but its useful to know Smile

lurkinglorna · 02/08/2013 13:14

yeah thinking about it i declared love in last two guys i seriously dated and didn't get it back. we continued going out after that and parted ways for other reasons.

didn't upset me. i KNOW i'm cool and the universe loves me so its actually somewhat irrelevant as to whether i get one back (what's more important to me "in a relationship" is that the guy is demonstrating love by treating me well) but just...it was very important to say it.

Overtheraenbow · 02/08/2013 13:18

Love that lorna the universe loves me ( maybe we should all get that printed on a t-shirt!! Grin,

Flipper934 · 02/08/2013 13:19

That's exactly what I thought, Snape, it sounds like it's straight after work through to going to work in the morning as well, so no time for anything else!

Though I am clearly a cynical old hag, as I got bored halfway through that video (I watched to the end though, I do like the song).

Project Emotional Pizza is a sure win. Don't you dare chicken out.

Oh, forgot, Nora, yes, he has social skills! But he is a mature student, so perhaps he has learnt some along the way...

lurkinglorna · 02/08/2013 13:21

ha ha well it does! gives weird hippy smile at thread Grin

lurkinglorna · 02/08/2013 13:23

ps ok i was probably was a bit embarrassed when i got "OH DEAR" back. but still not sorry i said it. fortune favours the bold! Smile

scrazy · 02/08/2013 13:41

I think that if you feel you love someone you should say it. Not in the beginning so you scare them off or anything like that, there are other ways to let someone know it's serious in the beginning. I haven't been in love many times, and when I've have been I've had it back in the past. I said it with the last one and got a perhaps, yadda, yadda, but I'm glad I did as it taught me to take a step back and detach somewhat, even though he didn't want anything to change.

The only way he will get me back to how things were is if anything changed for him, other than that I am looking elsewhere for the real deal.

lurkinglorna · 02/08/2013 13:46

i dunno if its actually a "gender difference" or just my own situations.

but interestingly i think i wanted to "declare love" as that was my feeling. whereas the guys were like "well why aren't you considering marrying me/relocating to be with me?". so maybe expressing in different ways?