The Dating Thread - episode 60

[Djangounhinged]

If I may?

kirsty i LOVE that text!

Django phone date sounds good. with you on the nerves thing, personally rather just exchange texts then meet, but then when i chat i think "not so bad really!" i read somewhere that if you lie on the bed (i don't tell them this though as it sounds louche) it makes your voice more relaxed?

first meet report with the dreaded d**r then! was ok. .

drink extended to drinks extended to dinner and then pashing on the street (and a few alleyways)

i'd like to see him again.

Like Boyfriend/Girlfriend, also like the French "Petite Amie" as it's less age specific.

My current paramour is very free and easy with girlfriend/boyfriend.

Personally I go for 'bloke what I'm seeing' up until the wedding day, but I'm romantic like that.

Mr EA and I call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, we don't like Partner it sounds like you're trying to hide something, as in sex of partner isn't qualified, he has said jokingly my partner .... whose a girl!!

I'm afraid Petite amie is a bit twee for me, sorry DFU

tigsy I didn't mean I would say it (although might make an exception for a French GF) - I totally agree I'd sound like a pretentious tosser trying to say that in everyday conversation.

my bit of stuff

lover boy/soldier boy

"the blonde one"

the current one

the current tawdry liaison

I think there is/has been some emotional ambiguity shining through there!

lover is nice. i think some englishmen interpret it as "casual" so prefer "boyfriend/girlfriend".

Alittle

DFU please can I see a photo of your kitchen? If not, please can you describe it for me?

Jo, I was in your position. DD at home doing GCSE's and A levels,me not a high earner. Coupled with the fact that DD was a home bird it was rather restricting for dates.

I met someone who was considerably richer than me or so it seemed and I was happy to let him pay if we went out for a meal. If we were staying in I would always take something, wine, chocolate etc and we mostly saw each other in his town. (He would often slip the bottle of wine back in my overnight bag as he said mine was cheap ) So problem solved.

I do have slightly more expendable cash nowadays and slightly more freedom to go out or invite someone home with me.

Think I may have been in a slightly morose negative mindframe yesterday, regarding dating. Sorry. Sometimes being remindind or thinking you can no longer participate in life gets depressing.

DFU thanks for your insight, that helps. Nice to know us hardworking NHS staff are acceptable fodder.

WFF that is exactly my train of thought. You don't have to pay to have fun apart from the condom stock. Good luck with the dates! Yay for NHS workers (there is no such thing as a 'lowly' NHS worker, we all slog our guts out for a common goal pity we can't all earn surgeon salaries and walk around like demi-god's)

48 that is where I am, getting out of ex's spending habbits, and still paying the price. Really annoying as I never owned a credit card till I married him, I just did without. Now I am spending my hard earned cash paying for his fucking prostitutes debt and left holding the '15 year old' baby while he swans off to his new life with his new wife

Thanks Djang and Kirsty, so I am on the right track then. Feeling a lot more optimistic

scrazy Yay, hope for me. Thanks.

Yes, from a dating point, my example is encouraging. However, we never made it to the relationship stage and I never meet anyone who wants that with me. I'm not sure I do either but it would be nice to be asked.

grinchie I have been PMing folk my POF profile but decided to upload profile pic on MN - so it should bebon there now. Am feeling slightly uncomfortable that I appear to bragging - honestly not trying to, other kitchens are much nicer/ not as nice etc etc. The good news is this may help if/when I want to move house.

Flipper the woo is still working then - and onwards to date 4

lorna yay for pashing in the street, did you arrange another date at the end of last night? All sounding very good for you too!

Thanks for reassurance re phoning - I actually can't wait to phone him today! But I will be fully insouciant, and comfy on my bed before I pick up the phone....

Big hugs for posters with fuckers for exhs. Big hugs for awesome civil servants (like me)

Getting a disinterested texter vibe from me got and cold who is living up to his name big style this week. Bit maybe he is nervous about the date. Who knows...

D I'm leaving it with him.

not actually convinced we'd be good "couple" material (and fairly certain he must have noted the same thing) as in conversation we identified our goals are fairly different (he wants kids, quite money orientated so picked the wrong woman)

but the pashing was fabulous (although i was VERY pissed hungover as fuck right now and have The Fear ). so i'm going to peg him as "will accept 2nd date if offered".

There's a couple of guys from pof i have 1st meets on the cards with where i'm more optimistic about general compatibility?

I think i'm out to find the "sweet spot" between "driven ambitious types" and "feathery stroker type" and they seem like they might be that kind of region?

(must admit it seems a bit daft and non common sensical though for "driven ambitious types" to ask me out just because they like the cut of my face or whatever. fairly obvious by my profile that i'm not rich and i don't want to have their kids. oh well if there's some good pashing and adventures to be had i'm not complaining)

Lorna - 'pashing' is an excellent word, I may adopt it.

DFU middle age finally slapped me in the face when I realised that I wanted to see your kitchen - phwoarrrrr.

Jo nhs high five (which probably means that it's weary, cynical and has had to be thoroughly risk assessed prior to the action).

Lovely to hear so many posters are having some luck at long last.

I spoke to Hot Tub on the phone last night - verdict 'meh', perfectly nice bloke, no sparky-sparky I don't really like his accent and he wanted to talk to me about his various health issues.

Incidentally, having my hair cut later but all of a sudden my hair's gone all 'Charlie's Angels' on me (in my book excellent news) - this is not at all fair.

Lorna what is all 'Charlie's Angels' in a hair context? I am considering having a hair cut as the only one who likes it longer is me.

(Cough. Nora) DFU in this context 'Charlie's Angels' hair means that it's transformed itself into cascading and voluminous waves à la Jaclyn Smith rather than my more usual 'Monica Geller visits Barbados' look.

EEK sorry, Nora - off to Google said people as have no knowledge of this matter.

got text this morning from someone i've been chatting to who is a king of the "banal messages" so decided to stop responding to him.

"hi hows your day?"

seem to have acquired a couple since i signed up to pof, just one line responses.

find it a bit disconcerting. why are they so banal? has anyone ever met them? what are they like?

Kirsty that is fab news!

I am having an issue with the whole boyfriend/girlfriend label at the moment... Basically been seeing pof guy for many weeks now, been out 9 times, met his friends etc. Someone asked if I was his gf last week and he clammed up and said something about 'not needing a label'. So I told him privately this week that I'd quite like a label actually! We're going to talk about it when I see him tomorrow but I fear the worst! If he won't put a label on it then I kind of feel more like a friend with benefits, which I don't want to be. What do you think people, is he a commitment phobe or should I give him a bit longer?

Woohoo! kirsty that's sooo sweet !

kin!do you think it's a bloke thing tho ( male opinions please) Mr IT is a bit of a one liner though his emails are more extensive and I'm a bit the same too tbh , see texting a bit like a convorsation and an email more like a letter. Mr Jazz likes to 'talk' at length ( which could be a problem as in the word in edgeways way!! As I have been known to talk... A bit... Well quite a lot especially when I'm nervous!!)

Mr IT finally took the hint about kids being away and asked if it wasn't too soon to ask me for a date ( errrr no!!) so off out with Him tonight!! Will loo update if I get a chance!!

Super, will you end it if he won't call you his girlfriend? Just wondering.