The Dating Thread - episode 60

[Djangounhinged]

If I may?

Question for the thread - are women less likely to do this re-appearing, keeping someone dangling crap? I think generally they are, but then I'm mindful of Moongirl etc.

X-post Lorna how rude! What happened?

I don't actually mind the re-appearing so much, as long as I've actually moved on in the interim period? Not in terms of "yes I've got a hot new man so fuck you" just in terms of "meh" ok?

stranger yeah we sort of organised something last minute yesterday and then I sat there for 20 min before moving to the park (that's not some special dating trick, I just thought I'd allow a bit of time for emergencies etc and I like the park)

Got a text back 50min late saying he'd "fallen asleep so tonight off" and then I sent one back saying "no worries dick-" and then "can we re-arrnage for tomorrow?". "no" from me.

oh well

ps sorry I meant we organised yesterday, were meant to meet early evening today

Well that's just rude Lorna ! What a git.

It's Returners' Corner round here innit ? Though not heard from my own particular returner yet today.

OWW promising news about Alpha potentially wooing you with rice and massage.
I think Tigsy said that a Twinkle was St Germain, vodka and sparkling wine - I've had it with all three combined, with just vodka and with just prosecco and can heartily recommend all variations. Mmmmm

What a dick. If I overslept for a first date (which kind if implies I wasn't too excited or taking it seriously) then I'd send profuse earnest apologies and ask if I could get a second chance to make a good first impression.

He would have been a waste of time anyway..

Mmmmm....I do recall getting past one "bad period" (depression and shit) when I was just a bit emotionally "not there" and then wanted to see if I could get a 2nd chance with one or two excellent people who I'd not really done too well with the first time round.

Of course, as happens with excellent people, they were off the market by then I mean I'd sort of hurt them the first time round, they had really liked me, but they they'd moved on. There one is.

Aye, thanks guys who needs a date when I can sit here all night posting shite with you lovely people?

Its more annoying than anything - put my schedule out and as there was talk of dinner I'm STARVING now - but I'm not gonna stop arranging stuff or being open to being a bit spontaneous.

I think unreliability with scheduling is a sign of being under-invested in the dating process or passive aggressiveness (as in "I want the other person to "prove" how much they want to date me by going out of their way, all the time")

(and I've been on "that side" at one point so I'm not going to excoriate the guy - was that the right word there? )

I'm not averse to second chances. There's a couple of people I would give the time of day to again if they got in touch, and I do think a lot of never-quite-of-the-ground things fail because of circumstance more than anything else, so a second chance down the road makes sense. It's more the people who seem to obviously keep someone dangling for their own amusement dry spells that I object to.

And it really is returners' corner. I had an out of the blue text from an ex this weekend. Damn if I could work out the agenda though. Bant/DFU you would tell us if every man in the UK had recently received a summons ordering them get in touch with their exes right?

We're not supposed to tell..

hmmmm....I think possibly managing the returners with a firm hand is the trick?

I'm happy to receive texts from an old flame (might respond to some of the "ruder late night ones" in kind ) especially if as like Stranger said there's a "chance" we could get back together - with my most recent one, the break up was due to logistics not emotions.

But wouldn't do anything to fuck up a current prospect.... or get "oneitis" and decide as we're 100% fated to get back together, I don't need to engage with what's actually on my doorstep?

On a completely unrelated note, regarding the LOL/!!! Issue with emails..

As I've said before quite often, I cringe when I see them in a profile or an email. I always mentally translate 'lol' as 'I'm sat home alone giggling at my computer screen, and maybe drooling just a little bit'

However, the mermaid has used approximately sixteen thousand exclamation marks, several dozen LOLs, a few lmao's and several 'geeshes'. I am still unaccountably infatuated with her. Because when she types 'lol' I can mentally picture her smile, and I feel good.

Ok, sickeningly romantic interjection over. I'll go back to being a cynic for a while

Bant lol

Lorna, how rude of him. I tend to get people to do all the travelling, meet somewhere I can get to in a few minutes. Tell then to text me when they set off so only then will I start getting ready and text me when they get there, so no texts and I don't get ready or leave the house.

This is a result of being stood up but again we were meant to meet local and I forget to get his number, not sure if he turned up as I left after 10 minutes.

Aye, it is rude scrazy but it really is a one off I think, so beyond obviously not accepting another meet with the man in question and having sworn for a bit I'll probably stay as open as possible?

Don't want to be missing out on good guys because one or two socially inept ones have made me over cautious?

I think I've done...ooh, about 15-20ish 1st meets from OD this year, including 2 long distance (booking/paying for transport in advance) and this is the 1st time I've been "left sitting". Couldn't have predicted it, I think.

Lorna, that's the spirit, it did put me off hence doing it all on my terms.

Bant lol me thinks you are smitten!!!!

My local friendly car dealer had just picked up my Land rover and left me my new van. I don't like having to rely on wing mirrors. I don't like the hand brake on the right hand side. I don't like the gears on the dash. I don't like it, full stop. I am a white van woman.

I am over my unpleasant experience from earlier. The van has beat that!

48

Oh Bant I know exactly how you feel. The right person can lol away.

Lorna falling asleep and missing meeting someone is the kind of thing that I do (or get lost on the way)...but I'd be verrrry apologetic. Can understand no second chance if no apology...

Am going to meet sleepover date man again in a couple of weeks...am ridiculously happy about this!

bant if you are forgiving lols that's serious! Why is she 'mermaid'?

Hi everyone

As for the low fives club I barely make the fives but my tallest ever bf was 6ft 6 .

All still going strong with ironman we went on holiday, it was brilliant.
And we're looking at houses (to rent at first).

bant I could forgive all sorts of personal faux pas but I draw the line at lols, they must be stamped out!

Grinch, I'm a founder member of the lolstamping foundation, but it just goes to prove the point that online dating makes one filter out on ridiculous grounds. Mermaid is attractive, funny, warm, intelligent and her quirks fit mine. Plus from what I've seen she's pretty damn good in bed. And she's a science teacher. A cute blonde science teacher.

All of that puts 'lolling' dramatically into perspective, like saying I wouldn't date someone from Cornwall because I once had a bad pastie.

She's 'mermaid' incidentally because when I met her she was on Southern California and dated a lifeguard. And she has long curly blonde hair, and a vague resemblance to Daryl Hannah in Splash.

And oooooh the first thread cohabitation?

Nah, Tigsy got there first.

That's brilliant news Grinchie - so glad it's all still going well.

Your Metmaid sounds wonderful Bant - go get her!

Lorna what crap behaviour. Much better hanging out in here with us dependable old stalwarts.

Sad lack of fizz and vodka here Nora but it's nice with lemonade too.

Aw bant that's a lovely reason for a nickname.

oww someone else got there first?
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