Hello everyone Only had 1.5 hours sleep last night but was determined to achieve something today, so have tackled the kitchen, baked a banana and walnut bread, and a lemon drizzle cake, booked the train tickets for our holiday, had a bath and sorted out much of my tax return. Oh, and I actually managed some lunch too 
And more hot cups of tea, and finished draft one of the birth story.
Tomorrow is another week, and I have my family support worker back from holiday and coming round at 11.45, hoping that she will help me get the legal ball rolling in respect of the maintenance application.
I had my biggest and final wobble re twunt, and kind of offered him a last chance to commit back to our relationship. He reiterated the "I'm confused" line, and I feel better now as I know that he really REALLY doesn't love me. Although he doesn't want a divorce 
. I do though, so once I have maintenance sorted and a job lined up, I will be taking steps to sort that out.
Yesterday was busy and tiring. Twunt's ex came round with the boys - she brought us a picnic lunch which was lovely, and after that she took my two off to the park for half an hour with the boys whilst I fed C. She is nothing at all like he portrayed, which I sort of suspected may be the case after I saw the messages he had been sending other people about me. Was also interesting that she kept pulling them up on their noisiness and behavior...well, given that twunt used to maintain that they were amazingly behaved and not remotely noisy, but "normal" children as opposed to my robots 
Later in the day SIL and MIL came round to see C again, having been to the supermarket for me which was a massive help. Then, having slept all that while, as soon as they left Caspian was awake and fussing til 5.30am this morning. Today has been much easier so I am hopeful that this is the end of the growth spurt.
I've readvertised the rooms, and am hoping for some suitable interest. In the meantime, I am just going to keep going through my list of things to do, and be satisfied if I get even one tick a day.
Quite excited that I am meeting some of you in real life so soon. The support of everyone has made this ongoing journey seem so much less daunting, and the advice has been invaluable. I am definitely meeting my sister too, she seems a lot happier the past few days, and very excited about seeing us all.
Thank you for all the words of encouragment, and sunshinemeg I am quite tempted to try to put all of this into some form of writing, it would help me a lot certainly. 
Right, I am off for a hot cup of tea and a slice of lemon drizzle cake. This is the recipe:
175ml vegetable oil
175 g caster sugar
2 lemons
3 eggs
175 g SR flour
100g demerara sugar
Beat together the oil, caster sugar and zest of one lemon until it is light, then add a pinch of salt, and beat in the eggs one by one. Fold in the flour until it is at dropping consistency. Pour into a greased loaf tin and cook for 50 minutes on 160 degrees.
As soon as it is out, mix the zest of the other lemon, the juice of both, and the demerara sugar together, and, whilst the cake is still in the tin, make holes all over the top (I couldn't find a skewer so I used the carving fork 
), and pour the drizzle mixture over really slowly in little bits til the cake has absorbed it, then add some more etc. Leave it to cool in the tin, then pop on a rack for a bit. Then stand guard so that NO ONE else at all is allowed to sniff it let alone eat it.